I've been doing a lot of thinking,
About if I should like you.

I've been doing a lot of thinking,
About if I should hate you.

I've been doing a lot of thinking,
About if I should take you back.

I've been doing a lot of thinking,
And I think I like you better,
With me under your arm.

I had another dream about you,
First one in a while.
I was pleasantly surprised,
Because it made me smile.
I'm not sure where we were,
Or who we were with.
Not sure if you mentioned her,
But we were happy,
*And we were together.

Just give me some time,
To cry it all out.
Stop throwing stuff at me,
Need to learn what it's about.
So help me when I need it,
And not when I don't.
Let me be myself,
It's fine to do what you won't.
So let me do what I do,
And don't tell me things twice.
Care what I do,
But let me manage my life.

I told him I'd come.
I told him I'd be there for him,
unlike how he wasn't there for me.
I feel bad.
Two wrongs don't make a right,
But I  guess he needs to pay,
For how he broke me...
But I was genuinely happy to be able see him again,
And the only person I'm hurting by not coming,
Is myself.

Real friends will comfort you,
When you are a mess.
Fake friends will compliment you,
When wearing a cute dress.
Real friends look after you,
Saying no,
Don't date that guy.
Fake friends will tell you,
He's cute, give it a try.
And when your heart breaks,
And then your world shakes,
You haven't cried so much in years.
Your real friends shine through,
To dry up all your tears.

Sometimes,
If you hit rock bottom with enough force,
You'll bounce right back up,
And make a hole in the ceiling.

So if you feel yourself falling,
Don't try to grab on,
Brace yourself for the landing,
Or go down proud.

A good walking partner.
A good secret keeper.
A good food taster.
A good kiss giver.
A good listener.
A good cleaner.
A good friend.
A good dog.

You've made me angry,
You've made me sad.
You've made me happy,
You've made me mad.
You've made me jealous,
You've made me blue,
You've made me think,
So much about you.

I've made you happy,
I've made you sad.
I've let you down,
I've made you glad.  
I've made you strong,
I've made you weak,
I've witnessed your lowest,
I've witnessed your peak.

You've made me feel,
All of the above, too,
But most of all,
You've made me love you.

You've broke my heart,
I've heard you lie,
We've said hello,
Now say good bye.

I walked along,
The well lit path,
And sang a little song.

I inhaled the trees,
The flowers,
And the fresh and cool spring breeze.

Soon the sun,
Began to set.
But it wasn't dark,
Completely yet.

And he left me.
In the dark.
Lost and confused to fend for myself.

He left me,
So now I am alone,
Wandering in the dark.

If you really hated me that much,
Then why’d you stick around?
If you really liked me that much,
Then why’d you bring me down?

We used to be so close.
Now we’re so far away.
We don’t even talk anymore.
And if we did,
What would we say?

But now it’s clear to see,
How much your hate has grown.
You try to avoid me,
And make sure your message is known.

If you ever really were my friend,
You’d know who I am.
If you ever really were my friend.
You would give a ****.

But you don’t,
And you won’t.
So we’ll sit here in silence,
About ten feet away.
And we’ll sit here in silence,
Because there's nothing left to say.

Wasting my time?
That's what you call this?
It's poetry!
It's self expression!
It's what I do when I'm not allowed to come right out and say it!
It's my escape!
It's my escape from you
Because you'll never read this,
Cause it's just a 'waste of time.'
Maybe there are 'more important things,'
Yeah... To you!
But this is my life!
It's how I've gotten things off my chest for years.
And I'm not about to stop now!

If you kissed me now,
I would forgive you forever.
If you grabbed my hand,
Let go?
I would never.
If you held me close,
I would love you more than ever.
But will you?
Never.

My friends think it's silly.
They don't get how I feel.
My friends don't believe me.
That this love is real.

My friends think it's silly,
How heartbroken I feel.
My friends don't believe me
That my feelings are real.

They weren't.
I should've listened to my friends.

I thought I knew more.
I thought I knew for sure.
I thought I’d find you at my door.
But no.
Life’s not that perfect
Hell no.
I thought wrong.

I thought you were the one.
Or at least a step nearer.
You blinded me but now,
My vision is clearer.

I know what I was to you.
I’ve figured you out.
So like me or not,
I’m gone.

Did we actually have something?
Did you feel it too?
Well you act like you didn’t,
But I know you still do.
Which leaves me confused.
Was it me,
Or you?
What did I say?
What did I do?
Did we have something?
Did you feel it too?
Then why’d you act like you didn’t?
I’m so confused.

Why would you even try,
Try to make me cry?
Why would you even disguise,
Disguise all of your lies.

Maybe you forgot,
About me,
About you,
About us.

So all I ask is why.
Just…
Why?

It could’ve been perfect.
Wonderful.
Amazing.
Just what I wanted,
Just what we wanted.
But I was afraid.
I was scared,
Of what others might think,
So I turned away,
And it still kills me inside.
Because I know,
How you felt the same,
But we were both too scared,
To admit it….
Yet.

I know life isn’t fair.
I know life isn’t forgiving.
But why was it both,
To you?

You were wrong,
But I got burned.
You got her.
I got forgotten.

I know life isn’t fair.
I know life isn’t forgiving,
But I want,
I hope,
I dream,
I pray,
For a chance to hit replay.
I want to start over,
So I can fully appreciate
All that I had.

Monday, February 27, 2012
I just wanted to say to everyone to please stop bullying. Today in a town not so far from mine, a boy was bullied so much that he brought a gun to school and shot five people. 2 are dead, 3 are injured. Please stop bullying people! It's not cool, it's not funny, it's not anything that could possibly be good! Not only does that person feel the pain, but just as what happened today, others feel it too. It's not fair that a person was bullied and 2 people had to die for it. So all I can say is please, please, please stop bullying!

Chardon, you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Clearly I wasn’t important enough,
To shine,
To be your star,
And your only star at that.
Clearly you would never think of me,
As that type of girl.
Never.
I’m your backup,
Backup plan.
But it’d be a lie
To say that I didn’t enjoy,
My time with you.
But it’s over now.
You it ******* up.
So thanks,
Thanks for ruining my trust in others.
Thanks.
Thanks for ruining it.
Thanks for ruining it all.

Thanks for girls,
Thanks for the guys.
Thanks for everything.
Life’s a surprise.

Thanks for the stars,
That twinkle at night,
Thanks for the comfort,
And thanks for the light.

Space is raining,
The sky is our hood.
So thanks for the bad,
And thanks for the good.

Why do I even come back to you,
When all you bring me is pain?
Why do I even think of you,
When all you do is make me insane?
Your love is like poison,
And I think I’m addicted.
Your heart is like gold,
But for me it’s restricted.
Why do I even talk to you,
When all you do is talk about her?
Why did I even fall for you,
I thought I knew for sure.
Your love is like an ocean,
And I think that I’m drowning.
You don’t even know,
How it’s your fault I’m frowning.
But I’ll keep coming back,
Until the last words are spoken.
Yes, I’ll keep coming back,
Until my heart is all broken.

Falling.
Falling fast.
But my feet don’t touch the ground.
Falling.
Falling deep.
And the only sound is the beat of my heart.
Falling.
Falling hard.
And you’re the only one around.
Falling.
Falling over.
Tumbling,
Fumbling,
Falling,
Falling in love.

My heart.
It wasn’t yours to keep.
My eyes.
Are wet with tears.
My hand.
You are the reason its cold.
And I,
Am broken to pieces.

Then you go,
And break my heart.
Then you disappear,
Right before my eyes.
Then you go,
and let go of my hand.
And I,
Am left without you.

My heart.
Is now stronger than ever.
My eyes.
Roll at the sight of you.
My hand.
Is balled into a fist.
And I,
Am not yours.

Why is it that,
He thinks that I’m pretty?
He thinks that I’m smart,
But I won’t let him fill,
That place in my heart.
Why is it that,
You don’t want me at all?
You lie and you cheat,
But for you I still fall.

I fell for a predator,
I was the prey.
I was head over heels,
But now I’m done with your game.
You’ve had your fun,
But now I am through.
But 4 words will bring me back,
And those words are ‘I love you, too.’
So I would like to thank you,
For breaking my heart.
Because now both of us,
Have a fresh start.
So now you are free,
To be with whoever,
But I know I’ll still,
Love you forever.

Don’t let life,
Just pass you by.
Get your head out the clouds,
Chin up towards the sky.
Don’t sit around crying,
Cause he’s not the one.
Go find someone better.
Yesterday’s done!
So take what’s offered,
And remember to give.
Live to remember,
But remember to live.