It's time.
It's been time.
It's a new year, I'm a year older and it's time. It's time that I move on. The things I felt I had needed had been holding me back. I was clinging onto pieces of him. Pieces that did not make up a full puzzle.
And I filled it in with fantasies, ideas, romanticizing what wasn't there; what was never there.
So it's time to move on,
Get on with my life.
And sure, he's still a really cool guy, but in order for me to get anywhere, I need to focus.

So that's my resolution
To move on.
Not to forget,
But simply, to turn the page.

I've kissed him in a thousand dreams
And missed him for eight hundred weeks
Stayed up when I should be asleep
Wondering if he thinks of me
I know I shouldn't care this much
But I can't seem to shake this crush
I'm upside down and out of touch
He'll never notice, never does.

Trying
I am trying.
I am trying hard.
I am trying so hard.
I am trying too hard.

I always believed it was my fault,
When it was completely yours.
Because I thought I loved you,
And did not love myself.

The worst kind of reply is none at all,
Because it gives me time to rip myself apart.
And list all the thing’s I should’ve said,
And all the things I did.
Why build someone up just to let them down?

I like the way you look at me.
I like that you search for eye contact.
I like your ****** expressions,
And the shape of your smile.
I think I like you.
A lot.