Someday I will be able to look at the sky, up and under the stars or the clouds or the lazy light of the moon or the heat of the sun, standing still in humid habagat or the windy amihan, and say without the familiar weight on my chest, that suffocating barbed wire strangling my neck, i'm glad i'm here

someday I will be able to go by a week not miserable and empty and unhappy, but proud and weightless and briskly walking through the cobblestone path of i can do this, i can do this

someday there will be bad days, days of uncertainty except the bad blues, the gloom that takes over when silence and insecurity and fear seep in through cracks and crevices left from those other bad days. some days will be awful days, not wanting to get out of bed, letting joints rust away and sore muscles become excuses. or a book feels like a 100 miles long, or a song like a glimpse, a blink of an eye. no time for reminiscing. no time for rest, even if it feels like everything is still and quiet.

but i know there will be days, other days. better days. or nights, because i'm not picky. i just want good. better. rest, but never permanent.

someday may be tomorrow or the day after that. someday will happen soon, i know i know i know. i will pour my heart out onto concrete when that day comes, when breathing becomes a joy and not a burden. when living is easier and loving is light.

someday
.