Dreaming in the closet and I will have the same as you. You must know I feel you.
As all and before. Come hither. Bring your noose and the last dress we sold our skins for.
Cheap witness, plagiarize our scars and pass them onto former lovers.
The newest additions run no deeper than the stories of your hide resting in his closest.
And how funny it is.

My dreams and my silences against your pleasings and your oiled canvas.
May you rub your nose open.
Your skin will fall.

"Please no more. Leave me with the husks of before."

Listen. And your age will weep it's loss.
Your strings are knotted. Just above the hemline, your goddesses crumble.

I try to struggle.
I try the dance with any devil present.
Believe that you will remember.

And I try so hard.

So sleep and dream.

Maybe an equal amount make it out alive.

"Bring me love. "

These are required.

Our house was broken into while I slept and died.
Poorly vented incontinence.
People begin isolation from teachers and students.

Some holding children hands.
Some who hack away their friends.
Husbands, girlfriends, etc.
Unaware of their children.

the farthest branch.
assures us there is life.

where chatter swells in sight of gold.
where a raccoon sees clouds, but no sun.
the moon reflects
lifeless, controlling planes & folds foreign.
even if so
his reach would only meet his grasp.
but it can not be this way.
the clouds move & swell.
protecting us from ourselves.
from bizzare nebulas & unknown entities.
harbingers of death originating
from our silky cigarettes & lean machines.
inside the heavens, golden & blue.
beyoned the heavens there is a degree of souls,
all souls asking each other & us the same questions.
why this way?
if you loved me,
it would not be.
further into God's home,
the things deep in his rivers & far down his roads say,
if you loved me, together we'd stand.
the cobwebs run behind the shadows placing my hand near sight.
i see divine, everlasting life.
how can it be so?
i do not move mountains.
my blood does not course from me sweet as wine.
i am here as the jaguar.
black as night.
untouched by morning's warmth.
unseen by our sun's eye,
who stays my eternal enemy,
yet always in my heart, my sleep.
alone he sits.
far away.
telling us forever,
never tiring,
if only you loved me.


the copper straightens itself holding mountains together, shiny veins
the trees speak in the language of survival, cells

Come, tumble into sleep, you'll dream with ease,
Bid this empty room.
Slip weightless, if ever I grasped you,
Except in my shame and your cravings.
Tumble in circles & fall to your rest.
Still my trick begs your deliverance.
Twisting my ear.

Your breathing levels and my trick struggles,
For a detail missed, one sign unseen.
Sweating, shivering in my own contrivance.
Lost to me and void to you.
We will not touch.

As I open the door, my trick ever stays.
The grating of your laugh and the dances on your eyes.
Narrowing darkness into the thinnest strip,
I am once more light,
The synthetic stripes.

& I.
& I retrieve one capital memory.
of fire dancing in my youth.
a flesh not mine searing.
& no flame genuine.

& I lie down.
on porcelain grains.
visions of smoke.
a stench.
a desire.
a dead circuit waking.
my brain knows defeat.

& you,
ask me,
if I soar?
beyond great lakes
& before steel corridors
above a muddy fortress
& below bell colored carriages.

there. above.
or below. but with me at least.
at last you rest.
at last you're warm.
they watch, they sing & I mourn.
I wake & we sleep.
on beds of white leather.

& I.
& I walk.
& I run.
& I see.
& I translate cosmic mysteries.
& I revere your pain.

I'm changing you.
Oh?
You haven't begun to.
Yes.
I have, listen.
Nothing now, the blood is removed.
See, over there.
Shattered now, nerves severed.
I can't take my eyes off you.
Higher!
Oh lord.
Go on, exaggerate.
Oh lord,
Go on & now envy me.
In between you.
Higher, I hold mountains higher,
reduce fatigue &
perform faster,
letting a moment last longer.
Wetter & warmer.
Now.
Though now, it is false, cold movements
which you are craving.
I can't take my eyes off you.
Searching in that dead forest.

Change.
More falls down.

Rage.
More rises & I'm held again.
Envy you.
& scratching his eyes out, piece
by piece.

There was something missing, a tone that seperates.
Here it is now.
Full treble trembles & drones on.
Love you.
Burden, oh not here.
Show me those cells, those tan, taut chambers of desire.

In the light,
brutal patterns of heat.

An ache so sweet, held back
released now
forgotten & wanted
again
over & over,
loved you.

It's this now.
Please me.

Please me now,
know that in time things have been what they seem.
I am running, I am walking,
All these things & sometimes & it seems that without you here I am just rotting.

A soon to be lump
in a soon to be
abandoned apartment.
Lamps off. Curtains drawn.
Smoke is stale.
& choking those who enter finding me, cleaning me.
Dressing me &
finally burying me.

And we'll never know if blue was the correct choice.
We'll never know if pink were a suit better.
I'd never known there was a choice of color had I not caught your grey eyes marked in purples and blacks.
There is much red now.
In the toilet bowl.
On the tiled floor.
Finding its way into my veins and sight.
So tell me, with all these unkowns where lays truth and love?
In his bed or mine?
Do you dream of gold teeth?
Do you dream of replacing your own?
Someday this day will pass.
Someday this anniversary will pass.
And a moment waiting will emerge, staying your wrists from some razor's call.
I pray the dates melt and fade.
I pray the memory of you twirls away, spilling over the claw foot's edge, into oblivion.

Starting to focus. Using my mother's strength. 
Converting a wrinkle's shadow into presence. 
I'm noticed. 
More important than working watches. 
New York City closes my eyes. 
Time is now kinder and kinder. 
Close your eyes beautiful. 
You've read every page. 
Skipping whatI read most. 

I swim in your sleep. 
Waking with flushed skin. 
Warm and with night's air included. 

You ask if I'm dreaming. 
With silence, your day begins. 

 Eyeshadow saved for these soiled days. 
The darkness above your eyes, convincing that I am the thief in your purse. 
Awake listening to all. 
Those before me, coming and going. 
And it feels to me, to be the correct way for this. 

I am told you have two hearts. 
One from before and one in your bed. 
Saved for later.

Build. 
And once destroyed, remember to learn nothing. 

Walk. 
And when arriving, forget to rest. 

Speak. 
Think of what to say, taste the silver tongue's bitter ring.  

In a fit of rage I exclaim-
I have nothing to say. 


Anywhere but here. 

Anyone but me. 


Until then, destroy a child's heart. 

Play under rusted girders. 

Photograph and frame. 

Box and and store far away. 

All memories, all truths. 

And lies. 


All moments of you. 


Remove those. 
Explain yourself. 


And rise. 

Higher toward the sun. 

Your wings draping over the sweet gaze. 

All heavenly light. 

Weep in silence. 

Curse all those before. 

And search for those to come. 


Anyone but me. 


Try again. 

With tongues from different skulls. 

One bleeds. 

And one waits. 


And now there is a no. 

And now there is no now. 


Only your hazy future. 


Or only a brilliant past. 


The first littered with gold. 

And the last rot and decay. 


So remember. 

Anyone but me. 


And your stare. 
Into me for what seems eternal. 


Waking to see you sleeping. 
Covering your sight. 


And walking far off. 
Into wilderness. 

Finding love buried. 
There's nothing after sleeping. 


A year. 

And there are now six. 

Sending off for answers. 


Love the automatic. 
I passed it off. 
Planned for the son. 


Choirs great in their grey woven spells. 
I am a shape in the wood. 


From the vocal thought, my age becomes my choice. 


To return strife. 
In cold silent gaze. 


Pressed into you. 


Ten feet from now I will forget. 

From you into some place obvious. 

A Corvette in a forest. 

With smoke in hand. 

Sewing the ends of this letter loose. 


Fall down new barriers. 

Fall to the sun and fade. 


Walk with moans and smile with rhythm. 

The Baptist arpeggio of a life forced meaningful. 

These cliffs speak of charm and integrity. 

I see him made. 
And I hear his end in the bottle. 

Synthesized in fermented preservation. 

My hands won't move and my face numbs again. 

Against the wind in name of life. 

Wake before ghosts. 
 
Racing home. 

And the horns cry so low. 

With your eyes I find shame. 

Replaced with some word soiled. 

Work found for the haste. 

So I am told to breathe and forgive. 


And I end. 
To begin something I could not finish. 


In leaving I presuppose I will return. 

In gold worth more. 

On wings of purity. 

Lifted to fall and stay humble. 


And the yes I gave should now be a no.