I miss you tonight

the same way I did last night

Your voice

Your laugh

The jokes we tell

I just miss you

and I can't help but wonder... Do you miss me too?

I had a long day

And I don't even know if yours was ok

I don't know why you haven't called me at work

I go out of my way to be with you

and sometimes it feels I don't get the same in return

I'm kind of upset right now

I know I shouldn't be

I was just hoping you would come stay the night with me

I didn't want to get to this point

The point of no return

But obviously I have so now I don't want to get burned

Little things hurt me

And I'm sure you don't understand

Just like I don't get what it's like to be a man

I try to see things from your point of view

Why don't you do the same for me too?

I don't like to be disappointed with the things that you do

I don't like being down and confused

I just want to talk, I want to talk to you

But sometimes I don't know how

So I lock it all up and don't make a sound

I've tried to be numb

and not feel a thing

I try to ignore all the little things that sting

Sometimes I guess my emotions just take over

I don't try to rag on you

Or make you feel bad

I just don't always know how to make you understand

I don't know how to be ok with certain things

I just want you here not in my dreams

Maybe I'm selfish and don't want to share

I don't want to lose you

But scared to death I will

I don't really know what I'm trying to say

I probably won't even send this

So it don't matter anyway....

Copyright © 2013 by Ashley Rodden

I um, I haven't really had much of a conversation with you.
Like, a real one. You know, the ones about how the air smells
in spring or how the stars look at night.
But, I keep having this dream where I tell you
that I've always thought that it was my fault.
That I deserved what happened to me.
And to be honest, you are the only person who
makes me feel like it wasn't.
So, thank you.

I want to thank you for saving me.
At first, I hated you because you had to be the one who
brought me to the counselor that day. I was so hell-bent on
wanting to die, that I completely forgot my reasons to live
even though their hands were guiding me to the
front office.

Thank you for being there for me when no one else was.
For asking that oblivious question, "Is it boy issues?" that day in Math class.
For staying with me no matter what.
For being my friend.
For... caring about me.

Michael, thank you.
Thank you so much for everything you are
and everything you ever will be.
I want to wish you the best on your engagement
and I really do hope you live a long and prosperious life with your significant other.

I love you, I really do.

I've learned that happiness
cannot be found in the form of a little
purple capsule.
I've learned that Pisa will have to wait until next time.
I've learned that the third mushroom
held in my sweaty palm was not as
big a deal compared to the other two opening my mind.
I've learned that a part of me
died that night where we ****** in a
room with no furniture.
I've learned that life is work and that
the molotov cocktail of Dubrah and eay mac
that came spewing from me left an orange tang
upon the floor.
I've learned that pain is better than numbness
and that jabbing a sewing needle repeatedly in my arm
was an educated decision.
Most importantly I've learned that together we are better than alone.