Trees line the riverbank,
I sat, still waiting for you.
Our names are written on a tree;
I remember, you were not mine,
you were never mine to keep.

Our childhood memories
stained my mind, lingering forever,
but it was a mistake
and I have never been consoled.
Now, I could not seem to find you,
you were gone as years grew old.

You helped me conquer fears
and taught me how to love that day,
when loving seems so naive.
I remember, you were not mine,
you were never mine to keep.

We cherish this place,
our vows, nobody cares.
We sailed the river together
and promised to never let go.
Sometimes river is just river.

Memories of this riverbank,
I wept, still waiting for you.
Alone, but this river must flow;
I remember, you were not mine,
you were never mine to lose.

happy and care free
the side of me waiting inside me that you'll probably never see
a "me" that can't stand the sight of myself outwardly that you'll probably always believe
the person that I want to become when I overcome my defeats

It's the way your eyes lie to me that makes me light up inside
I'm happy to have the chance to change my hold on pride
they draw us together like the sides of a satchel with strings pulled
oh how I love to be fooled

those eyes, that color, their light, your stare
they make me forget everyone else and forget myself and not care
they draw me in with a whisper that asks if I dare
they pull me in like a scream rushing at me through lust filled air

it's funny how eyes can deceive so believably

teach me how to lie
I want the same fake happiness you see as a prize
teach me how to lie
I want the same hollow affection that gets you by
teach me how to lie
show me how the honest heart's noose needs to be tied

teach me how to lie
because the truth is I can't survive my own life

Your fingers run through my hair
like dull daggers, sending a tingling
sensation through my neck, like
an electric charge, giving me
vigor and life.

You wrap your arms
around me like the prettiest
Iron Maiden, clinging as tightly
as lost children, as the morning
tide.

You watch me with eyes
of wanderlust and fear
like an out of work
actress, starving
for a chance to show
the world and me,
exactly what you're worth.

You never expected
your mother to die
although the hospital
hinted at such

all lost
in their
language trap
all in all

it was a double blow
as dementia took her
piece by piece
years ago

then the final punch
the knock out blow
remembering
someone saying

that’s how
some loved ones
tend to go
and the relationship

between mother and child
is never simple
travelling as it does
through high hills

and valleys sometimes
dark and often deep
and remembering
all that

the need to weep
you reflect on all that
the final sight
of your mother

in that bed
the closed eyes
the small smile
remain in your head

and you know
after all such
you loved her overmuch
and always will

indeed
you love her still.