Eyes open wide
Closed for so long the light brings them pain
Took the risk knowing the odds were against me
Left to ogle at the selfish face of mankind
Unable to grasp how causing another discomfort can provide you such pleasure
Running through each encounter in my mind
Trying to see the missed warning signs
Unable to fathom such evil
How many lessons must one spirit endure?
Before it resides to solitude
Disconnecting from the world
Rebuilding the fortress that once protected her heart
Still in the end
Better off to be lonely than in agony
Better off to no longer be the victim
Better off being free

My own worst enemy is residing inside my rib cage
She fights and tears at the flesh to escape her prison
Throbbing and pounding blocks out all sound from the outside world
With every social encounter a blinder is applied to all negative
She blinds the brain and takes over all senses of the body
Desperately searching for kindness and acceptance in the face of evil
She can transform the most gruesome, slithering, conniving demon into an angel of mercy
Her gift is her never ending curse
She plunges recklessly into the shallow waters, drowning, waiting for a savior to provide her breathe
A ravenous ache settles deep with in her soul
The objective of her existence is to locate devotion of another
Regardless of how many times she is trampled to the ground in the process
A gluten for her own punishment
Continuing to open the wound and pour salt in it, as soon as any sign of healing has occurred.
Forever seeking solace in another is her affliction
Fabricating false hope in each new encounter
Composing the tragedy of her own demise
Analyzing every flaw, every imperfection
Tormenting herself over and over
Until her body is rendered motionless
Numbness sets in
Allowed to reside for a stint
Until she is entrapped by another devil
Doomed to continue this cycle

Contrary to what society has bread the world to perceive
There is no privilege set to any human born to this earth
There is no just reward for the righteous here
There is no slumber for the fatigued souls
There are no streets paved with gold
Some may claim all the wealth and worldly goods
Yet death comes to all and no wealth can abstain it
The toil of each day falls on us all
No matter the color, the size, or shape of the mass
Gravity pulls us equally, discriminates against none
Dare to bare your soul
Which knows no boarders or limitations
Dream to walk together in heaven along a jeweled path
Where the limitations of earthly existence hold no sway
Bask in the light of the only true gift
Let love be your professor
Let the spirit guide your every movement
Search your very essence to discover your talent
Each individual has so many, if only society would allow it to be shown
Shown with out fear or rejection
Free to be what our creator intended.

As I walked sullen and slow down the path that my life had become
Always looking down at the dirt below my feet
Never stopping to notice the sun or the smell of spring flowers
Sluggish and unresponsive to life happening around me
Swiftly fate pulled my legs from under my body and left me bewildered
Out of my own imagination he came
Unlike any other soul I had ever encountered
Showing himself at precisely the perfect moment in time
Bringing me the most treasured gift in creation
The prospect of hope, the light behind the eyes of a kindred soul
Words hold no comparison to the feeling he invoked
This almost recognizable stranger had woke me from the slumber of depression
Indescribable how breathtaking life's twists and turns are to the heart
One moment at the end of her rope, now on top of the world
Permanently floating on cloud 9
Where time no longer exists and the past is a faint dream
The glare of the morning light brings dreams of the future
Cherishing every small second
Living for once in her life, not just existing in this world
Inspired to create masterpieces
With an endless supply of emotion to use as her pallet

When no one else is around
Count on her when you are down
She is the best seat filler in town
A warm body to take up the empty space
Always available, always ready for someone to use her
Never plan A
Always up for replacement
Wearing her heart around her neck
Like a noose or a leash
Waiting for the next puppet master to pull her strings
Sweet and funny, happy when shes around you
But inside she is dying, decaying
Because she knows what she is
She knows that the seat filler will all she can ever be with you
Why not her?
Why not her heart?
Is it that easy to watch her self destruct
That easy to push the ignition button without blinking an eye
Don't play dumb, or ignorant
You know what it does to her
But instead of letting her go, you keep her at arms length
Yearning, aching for a little more
Praying wishing that one day
One fine, beautiful moment you would see
All she wants is to be season tickets

Right or Left
Up or down
Too many choices for the weak willed
No one to do it for you
No one to show you which path is safe
Uncertainty is your nightmare
Bound to a turntable of opportunity
Spinning so fast you don't have time to grab anything that you may want
Dizzy from distractions of this empty universe
Your mind is flooded with options
Every minute a new one surfaces
New what ifs
You are so lucky, but have no clue that you hold something so priceless
You have already attained it but don't know how to truly see it
An apparition of a possession so valuable that the owner can not even prevent it from harm.
Fool to believe that it could be safe with you
Wasted hope, tortured wishes
Your apprehension to choose has left holes in this option
Left emptiness where once was fate.
Take your time
Choose wisely
For the choice of mine is no longer yours

Every new dawn draws more and more away from my failing ***** of love.
Memories slowly slip into oblivion
The harder and stronger  I attempt to hold them, the faster they slide through my fingers
The small bits of hope that I cling to, the little moments of love, the romance the feeling of being wanted
I cherish them, but as the time begins to wear at my heart, like a rust
Slowly covering every surface inch until completely black
They are washed away, taken from me as I sleep
Robbed of any happiness that was once held by them
Replaced with emptiness
Void of emotion
Void of hope
Void of dreams
Leaving a feeling of being vandalized
My most sacred thoughts stolen by the evilness of solitude
Solitude who starts as a friend and begins to taint the mind
Eventually corrupting the soul
Left only with hopelessness and anger
Frustration and fear
To wonder and ponder the reason of living on
Taking the tiny bits of joy and turning them to horror
Pain that swallows us whole and takes the breathe right out of our lungs
Desolate and lost in the vast desert of humanity
My face begins to disappear into the nothingness of the crowd
Nothing to separate this tortured soul from the next
Estranged from love or any resemblance of it
Withdrawn from society
Falling deeper into the abyss of her loneliness
So close to the point of no return