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Nov 2012 · 648
untouched
Amber S Nov 2012
i'm leaving the bed as is,
with your fumes, your impressions etched into the sheets.
a mold in the pillow case.
when i sleep, i'll leave your side untouched.
so when i reach,
i will hold a glimmer
of you.
Oct 2012 · 1.7k
scary
Amber S Oct 2012
this side of me scares you
(it scares everyone)
running on open roads, with nothing but
hair choking me. you could never comprehend
the noiseless drowning. the blissful sleep.
once. twice.
i just need the *****, i guess.
your words are sugar, quickly dissolved.
my stomach urges. but nothing ever comes up.
congratulations!
you're now officially in love with a
****** up girl.
a girl with emotions will swing with a snap,
a girl with will never fully make sense to you,
a girl who's eyes never seem to stay dry long enough.
i thought you would
(or at least, kind of)
instead your mouth droops, your fingers fidget.
i need the red. the adrenaline wants me.
i long for it, especially when we lie.
i ponder which item to use. how it will trickle,
and how you will pretend.
your ****** up girl, she loves you though.
so much she can't breathe sometimes.
your ****** up girl, would lie down and wait,
even with thunderstorms and cruel footsteps.
she knows you wouldn't do the same, and every time
she thinks about it, she shatters.
Oct 2012 · 360
the best kind
Amber S Oct 2012
the best kind of love
rips you apart, lays your insides on the floor.
rearranges them, and places it all back,
so the air expands better in your lungs,
so the sun kisses your face in sparks,
so the people around you appear almost human,
so the beat your heart plays finally sounds like music.
the best kind of love,
fills you with love.
Oct 2012 · 553
first
Amber S Oct 2012
this is the first of "I love you"s
where it's felt like breathing.
with my parents, it's always been awkward,
forced.
(even though I love them more than I will ever say)
with him, there was no chance,
(he could never love me, his heart was too small)
with him, I wanted to cry,
(I didn't mean it, I never did)
but you.
I want to say it, all the time.
everyday.
the three words,
I can sing.
shout.
scream.
with no hesitance. no doubts.
just your voice in my mind.
Sep 2012 · 863
a night like any other
Amber S Sep 2012
My darling. My sunshine. My love.
Right now you are across from me,
Eyebrows furrowed, nose deep in a book
With words and lines I will never truly comprehend,
I’ve tried, but they merely appear as squiggles.
And I keep falling in love with you,
With each blink of those gorgeous eyelashes.
With each breath I hear faintly but presently.
With each twitch your mouth dives in concentration.
With each flip of the page,
I keep falling in love with you.
I love you for the little things. The eskimo kisses, the inside jokes, the phone calls everyday, the brief but electric touches, the conversations, the way you remember things I’ve said years ago, how you wrap my hair around your fingers, how “I love you” sounds from your lips.
And as I watch you,
Concentrating. Focusing. Being that brilliant man I fell in love with years ago,
You have no idea I’m writing this.
I smile,
For maybe you’ll know. Or maybe you won’t.
But it won’t matter. Because I love you.
Sep 2012 · 534
our summer love
Amber S Sep 2012
could easily outmatch the summer,
sizzling. scorching. scalding.
dew of sweat fresh each morning,
air pungent with flames each night.
our summer love could belong in novels,
the days full of sparkle and rapture,
the weeks gone into the heat of our embrace.
our summer love was gone
too quick.
tears new and stinging.
feeling nothing but your fingertips.
tasting nothing but the sour air.

our summer love...
i could write more. but no one.
no one.
no one.
will ever understand.
Sep 2012 · 694
breathe
Amber S Sep 2012
The stillness of the morning.
Half of the world slumbers on, half of the world trudges into their lives
I sit, mug in hand, sweet aroma tickling my senses
And breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We are always rushing. Never stopping.
No time to waste time.
Only for fifteen minutes,
Maybe half an hour.
But I breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Sep 2012 · 604
broken
Amber S Sep 2012
they were real.
salty, soaked, strange.
upon your canvas, mixed into the rocky sea,
a hurricane was feasting.
shaking, shaking, shaking.
with my fingers, i tired to anchor.
with my lips, i tried to calm.
i couldn't dig my fingernails,
you refused to look at me.

my beautiful, wonderful baby,
all the galaxies combined could never
match your wonder.
let me kiss your tears, lick the salt away.
i must see your eyes,

we all need to be broken sometimes.
Sep 2012 · 930
venom
Amber S Sep 2012
i taste venom. bitter.
tongue is dry, cracked.
licking my lips, but the taste is there. in between my teeth,
lodged into my throat.
i want you to taste this, too.
my thirst that can never be satisfied. you have no idea,
do you?
you lie, and your blood reeks of it.
to spit it back, watch it burn.
a luminescence with no sense.
you'll only return what's mine, the bitter will never leave.
instead it will sit comfortably, warmly
in the pit of stomach,
waiting, like a sleeping dragon, to be disturbed
once more.
Sep 2012 · 444
summer slips
Amber S Sep 2012
it will be strange,
to only feel your presence.
a shadow with no body.
it will be foreign,
to only sleep with your ghost.
to turn and feel a pretend warmth.
it will be unknown,
to walk the lights alone.
to have no comforting glove, around my own.
it will be unfathomable,
to see your eyes a few times.
to not have the storms descend.
summer slips,
along with your touch.

the taste of salt is poison.
Aug 2012 · 1.4k
cleopatra
Amber S Aug 2012
i am your cleopatra. i am your queen.
there are no orders i will give,
except you must love me with every inch of your cells.
there are no jewels i will want,
except for the ones in your eyes.
there are no lands i will conquer,
except for the land that starts at the tip of your hairs,
to the tip of your toes.
Jul 2012 · 602
after him
Amber S Jul 2012
after him, your kisses felt strange,
your lips too chapped and your tongue intruding.
after him, your body felt awkward,
ended too quickly, with no finish line in sight.
after him, your story felt old,
run over too many times.
after him, your love felt alien,
a stranger that could never be friended, a ghost never gone.
after him, you felt like a memory,
a bruise upon the heart,
still there, but fading.
Jul 2012 · 639
addict
Amber S Jul 2012
i think i'm your drug, i know you're mine.
with a breath, you drink me in. with a puff, i exhale you out.
it's hard to see past the vapor, the air is pungent with our fever.
i take another hit, so your eyes will shine even brighter.
your tongue waits with impatience, i see my skin ablaze.
seeping into every nook, your substance sinks into mine.
the fog embraces us,
kisses us,
excites us,
your heart drums into me with perfect rhythm.
oh, i may be an addict.
but the high. the high. over and over again, i will
lick your sweat until i throb.
i will move and squirm until you purr.
i will breathe in the fumes, and watch your body glisten.
withdrawal sounds like hell,
so give me another hit
Amber S Jul 2012
i think i love you more than books
...and i really really love books
the romance begun when i was small,
the pages seduced me, the words entranced me.
for years i squeezed myself into the spine,
the bind becoming a welcoming embrace,
the smell evoked drool, the touch kindled an explosion.
i thought this was what real love felt like.

you prowled along, and without a blink swept me away.

for a minute, i forgot the dusty pages, the ink full of stories.
your eyes held all the passion i had read about.
your voice reminded me of all my favorite characters.
i became mesmerized.
and i had thought it was only possible in my books.
i stopped dreaming about my books. i started dreaming about you.
...i think i love you more than books.

i no longer need to escape,
i fall in your arms and i'm free.
Jun 2012 · 1.6k
when your lips met mine
Amber S Jun 2012
when your lips met mine,
life returned to my bones.
when your hand met mine,
silk butterflies kissed my skin.
when your eyes met mine,
fireworks crashed into the sea,
when your body met mine,
i no longer knew the meaning of empty.
when your heart met mine,
it finally started to beat.
Jun 2012 · 649
sparks
Amber S Jun 2012
i wish you could see the cosmos.
the celestial body shines. shines. shines.
your lips pour luminescence.
your fingerprints stain.
floating. floating somewhere else.
in another time.
the clouds rest, the moon hums another tune.
its brillance is nowhere as close to yours.
eyelashes dusty, sleep creeps in the cracks.
tonight. tonight. tonight.
another night where this world is full of beauty,
where our sparks outshine every city light,
where our quivers out shake any earthquake.
this is our world. tonight.
heaven. no, better, because all i taste
when i lick your lips is pure sugar.
the moon keeps humming, and i fall asleep
with you entangled in my veins.
and i smile.
smile.
Jun 2012 · 475
home
Amber S Jun 2012
your body is familiar territory.
i know the roads, the paths, the signs.
the way it sparks in the night, how it creaks
and turns with the sun.
i watch your body like a map, but i have no destination.
i only want to travel until i'm lost.
lost in the vastness of your shoulder blades.
lost in the sighs of your esophagus.
lost in the wool of your torso.
lost in the making of your hands.
lost in the glands of your cheeks.
lost in the sea of your eyes.
your body, my sanctuary.
your heartbeat, my lullaby.
i trail the territory with my fingertips.
i trail home.
home.
Jun 2012 · 609
sink
Amber S Jun 2012
the darkness spreads. from the chest first,
it hurts like hell.
it creeps into the blood stream, an ink with no removal.
paralyzes. blinds. constantly hitting dead ends.
tasting nothing but ash, head is heavy,
eyes constantly refueling.
darkness crawls upon the skin, no touch soothing.
no pain suitable. it disperses from fingernails.
until there is nothing left but a small puddle.

sinking.
that is all that is left to do.
May 2012 · 457
give me
Amber S May 2012
i've bent backwards until my face smashed into the dirt.
i've pulled my own teeth, gathering the blood into my palms.
and i've said it, i wrote it, i screamed it.
give me. give me. just give me.
your empty space sends me into walls.
your wordless dialogue causes rivers.
what now, darling?
i would burn my hair, kiss heart-shaped bruises.
give me. give me. just give me.
you've squirmed into my veins, an uncomfortable parasite.
forgive me or leave me.
i will run to you, but i cannot pretend.
it's not for sale.
i'm sorry, darling.
....but give me. give me.
just give me.
May 2012 · 607
summer skin
Amber S May 2012
this frayed skin has been shed
caterpillar shattering cocoon.
greens, golds, purples, drench the air.
honey kissed lashes, lips full of fire.
prowl the grass, footprints engraved.
see the water. the moon and stars that coincide.
slip into the summer skin, with the golden tan that
sizzles with freedom.
place the summer glasses over your eyes, the ones that
sparkle and dance. place your other self into a dark and cool place.
now.now.now.
frolic. taste. feel. see. smell. cherish.
the sun blinds, yellow rays that penetrate.
the trees hum, birthing life and letting go.
place yourself inside, let the roots ****** you, the sky eat you
and the world embrace you.
slip into the summer skin,
and run. run. run.
May 2012 · 528
i want.
Amber S May 2012
i want to dissolve on your tongue.
i want to squeeze into your blood stream.
i want to lay between your ribs, place your beating heart
upon my cheek.
i want to soak into the sweat upon your collarbone.
i want to travel the freckles on your nose.
i want to place myself upon the lines of your lips.
i want to tattoo myself on your skin.
i want to swim in your eyes, facing the storm
with no shelter.
i want. i want. i want. to disappear with you.
into the stars. the inky blackness.
where i have all of you,
you have all of me.
May 2012 · 327
drown
Amber S May 2012
before i fall asleep...especially then.
my mind roams and roams,
but always back. back. to you.
i feel the fire in my throat, the ashes in my belly.
all i want to do is scream.
i thought you were real, i wish you weren't.
it wouldn't hurt so much, if you were just a fragment
of the imagination.
but unfortunately, your kisses did burn. your tongue
was the sweetest. your ***** were my monsters,
eating every part of me.
your eyes drove me insane.
all i can see is a storm.
all i can see is a sea.
all i can see is a explosion.
and there's always the two of us.
i am drowning, drowning, drowning.
and you are above the water,
smiling. smiling. smiling. at me.
the water enters my lungs. unconsciousness swells into me.
you smile. my fingertips graze the air.
i feel the sun. you place your hand upon my hair.
you kiss it. and drag me.
down. down. down.
i will never feel the sun again.
May 2012 · 366
it's yours
Amber S May 2012
you've taken one year of my life
(i'd even say the best)
so place it in a big enough box, with too much shiny paper
lots of ribbons or some sort of thread. make sure you tie it in a bow.
put stickers on it. cute ones. random ones.
make sure it captures your storm.
place it in a corner. place it on your bed.
you just need to see it.
(always)
i hope when you open it (if you do)
you'll hear my dumb laugh,
you'll see my eyes that you said were the most beautiful,
you'll try to remember the taste of my breath,
you'll long to feel the curve of my hips,
you'll yearn for my fragility.
when you leave
(i know you will)
you'll have nothing but this box full of memories,
you've taken everything else.
so take one more,
it's yours, anyway.
May 2012 · 802
warning label
Amber S May 2012
we are not the same
(in practically every way)
i dark, by birth and sun,
you refuse to step outside.
i yearn for the opposite ***,
you hold your breath.
i, restless, always ready for adventure,
you, scared by the potential of the day.
i indulge.
you judge.
i don't pull,
(although i want to)
you don't scold
(but you desire to)
opposites attract, or something among those lines.
too much opposite for me.
you whine at the nearest task,
i mumble, but trudge along.

friends. best friends.
(but with a warning label attached)
May 2012 · 431
wear your love
Amber S May 2012
i wish i could wear your love around me,
a silver chain hung on my collarbone.
your familiar breath tickling,
your tongue searching.
close. close. close.
to the angry and pounding blood vessels.
if i had all your love, safely and securely
in a little box tied with a million strings,
i wouldn't worry about your love finding new vessels,
new mouths.
i wouldn't think of her thighs shuddering.
i wouldn't believe your eyes gazing upon another.
i wouldn't have to fear her taking your love,
for i would have it with me.
the cool clink of silver nestled comfortably on me,
no room for wander,
for question.
your love upon me,
i wish.
May 2012 · 475
must
Amber S May 2012
must. must. must. stop the acid from rising
like a bubble to the surface,
it must not reach.
must. must. must. let the window sing all the melodies,
refused so long before.
write the colors, taste the caress.
must. must. must. no longer let these shadows run freely,
no harness. no control.
demonic laughs. no concealment.
must. must. must. write the word "love" upon my wrists,
and then my stomach, and then my *******, and then my legs
and then my feet and then my hands.
the ink will sink. sink. sink. into me.
maybe then. maybe then.
May 2012 · 1.7k
bubblegum
Amber S May 2012
it took you quite some time
but with the tropic breeze and a historical book,
you were there.
the grass tickled.
i wonder if it tickled you too.
i always knew.
sly glances. quick comments.
timing is everything, or something like that.
you make me laugh, which is rare
(especially for your kind)
reminds me of bubblegum and sunshine.
time when clues were not given or received.
i bat my eyelashes in return,
respond with chirps and playfulness.
i haven't played in a while.

it's a shame the grass didn't tickle sooner,
you could have had a taste a long time ago.
Apr 2012 · 841
tiger
Amber S Apr 2012
the tiger sits behind the bars.
i put him there.
swallowed the key.
after what happened, i want him there forever.
his stripes tricked me. once. twice.
enough.
the blood still fresh on his daggers.
he moans a pathetic moan,
as if his life fades.
his eyes. pierce me.
prode me.
pick me.
apart. apart. a part.
green eyes. like the forest. like the sea.
like something in between.
he yearns.
i lick my fingers.
his eyes never away. never another direction.
my flesh fresh from the sun.
sweat newly coated.
my fruits almost ripened.
the tiger cannot stand it.
and i laugh. and laugh. and laugh.

the key fits comfortably in my stomach.
Apr 2012 · 660
drift
Amber S Apr 2012
touches ungainly in the darkness.
breathes entangled in each other's throats.
hands. roaming. traveling. drifting.
the familiarity of your muscles.
tongue. tasting. consuming. savoring.
the orbit of your back.
fingers. soaking. engrossing. immersing.
the blueprint of your slumber.
your slumber. my slumber.
your face nuzzled in my bird nest.
my arm wrapped like a boa constrictor.
your calf easing my calf.
your early rise. my grogginess.
your gentle smile. your hungry kiss.
drift. drift.
back into the wondrous state.
a world where we both reside.
darling, to sleep by your side
every night of every day
of every month of every year.
i dream. i dream.
Apr 2012 · 454
let us dance
Amber S Apr 2012
up
and
down.
sidetoside.
in and out.
let the sweat drip. let it drip.
down.down.down.
i watch your steps with hunger.
i tap my toe in time.
when we dance, when we dance,
all i see is blue mixed with green and grey.
i count the freckles so i won't become lost.
you grab me. my hair. pretty little ribbons.
oh, the tingling. twirl it in your fingers.
a whiff of the dark perfume.
your teeth sinking into my shoulder
(my favorite move)
i die. i die. i die.
tongue glides across the pores. i twist to
get every lick.
oooh...
no inch of dry land.
we're really swimming now.
but let us dance and dance.
until our feet are stones
and our faces are numb with bliss.
take me, darling.
and we'll dance
until we just can't dance anymore.

your rhythm is the only one i could ever dance to.
Apr 2012 · 960
fool on me
Amber S Apr 2012
fool on me, for breathing in your cigarettes.
fool on me, for losing myself among the thunder of your lungs.
fool. fool. fool. on me.
i wish you didn't have so much conviction.
needles and hay.
no reason to stay anymore.
your eyes gripped me, and i lost my will.
your tongue sandpaper.
your lips bark.
fool.
fool.
smoke, you drift through my veins.
in and out of my fingertips.
i tried to squeeze but all i have left is ash.
fool on me, for thinking otherwise.
for falling over and over
into your puddle of words
Apr 2012 · 668
stars
Amber S Apr 2012
i want to eat the stars up.
munch on the shine, lick the twinkle off my fingers.
no direction now.
unwinding. uncoiling. unraveling.
one centimeter in front is black as coal.
one step and everything evaporates.
one blink and the stars return in haste.
one star giggles towards me with sharp soprano
she leaves. she leaves.

darkness, you old fiend you.
your teeth are far too large,
your eyes far too devious.
you will devour me.

twinkling star, shrill spirit.
sprinkling. spoils solely on all but the unwanted.
wish i knew. wish i knew.
where my mind was.
wish i knew. wish i knew.
what his heart looks like on the inside.

stars, twinkle. twinkle away.
i'll be here. i have nowhere.
i am no one.
Apr 2012 · 463
back of my mind
Amber S Apr 2012
do you want me to tell you?
how i thought i was going to puke on the drive over?
how the sunshine temporarily blinded me,
and i couldn't see you?
how your arms felt like a weird version of home?

somewhere, in the back of my mind,
i knew you were going to kiss me that night.
somewhere, in the back of my mind.

i felt an ease. a maturity.
a big sigh of relief left my body.
...i cannot believe we spent the day together. the evening.
so many times i knew i should go.
each and every time i looked at you
and thought of reasons to stay.
but now you've left again.
disappeared.
but it's so familiar to me.
i'm used to this by now.
but i wish i could see you.
i felt comfortable with you. i felt safe.
but you are nothing more than a dream
so i'll see you with the stars.
...and i have someone, anyway
who is real.
and who i will see in the moonlight, in the daylight,
and in the sunset.

maybe, someday,
maybe.
Apr 2012 · 4.0k
my handsome man
Amber S Apr 2012
my beautiful baby, would it hurt to know
how his mouth hungrily ate my lips?
would it **** you to know
how his hands encountered my
aches, my scars,
my lady love?
my beautiful darling, what would
your face look like if i told you
his arms closely resembled yours?
what colors would your eyes be when
i described the rumble of his voice?
where would your fingers touch
when i showed you the bite marks,
the bruises of savage love?

i know what i would do.
i would touch your cheeks with my fingertips.
i would **** every color of yours into my lungs
and breathe them out into the rising dawn.
i would nibble your fingers, tasting
the throbbing of distress.

and i would kiss you. kiss you. kiss you.

for no matter who. no matter what.
my handsome man.
no one compares.
believe me when i say,
my heart is yours.
oh, my handsome man,
i am yours.
Apr 2012 · 475
in the sea
Amber S Apr 2012
i must have met you in a dream
(for how else could such worlds collide?)
you were cool and i was small
(i remember the sweat pressed in my pores)
the first time we kissed
(i think i saw fireworks, and my stomach went
down to my toes)
you smelled so good
(i had too many secrets, unwinding from my tongue)
you laughed in perfect pitch
(my eyes couldn't remember the feeling of dry)
you swallowed me up
(i floated for days in the sea)
first time, i was shaking
(you never let me go)
the fireworks exploded
(i lost count of the stars)
now. now. now.
(you're the infection in my brain)
you squirm and squiggle.
(always there. always there.)
crazy? maybe.
(but i'd rather be crazy than without you)
please don't turn away
(your ocean will drown me)
Apr 2012 · 586
same old conversation
Amber S Apr 2012
"come to me, come to me.
let's embrace and be one again".
the scar turns away, quivering and shivering.
"not this time,"* he cries.
"you always say the same thing", snorts the rust.
"i need you"
closer and closer.
slight graze.
new friends pop up like
mushrooms.
the blade smiles a crude smile.

*"you always say the same thing"
Mar 2012 · 1.1k
devour
Amber S Mar 2012
trail my fingers along my thighs.
nothing like the graze of your
honeyed tongue.
dig my nails into my skin.
doesn't compare to your fervent teeth
on my collarbone.
whisper your name into the dark.
if only your storm sea eyes
could look at me.
and dazzle me.
and drown me.
and devour.
devour.
me.
Mar 2012 · 1.2k
giant
Amber S Mar 2012
i'll give you this much:
you sure know how to kiss
warmth traveled in my veins
and my stomach did something like
a backflip then two somersaults
you know how to be gentle
reading my uneasiness,
my trembles,
my gasps,
my want.
your tongue is patient
your hands rough
with old scars and stories forever hidden
underneath your lion rumble
you were once my giant
and i the small girl
we traveled among fields of wishes and sunflowers

your kiss feels right.
but my heart is no longer here.

my giant. my love.
one more kiss. or maybe two.
just for now.
just for now.
Mar 2012 · 486
i didn't think of him
Amber S Mar 2012
there were no warning bells
when i kissed you.
there were no flashing signs
as your hand undid the zipper.
i still don't know.

but your kisses reminded me
of kitten's tongues.
and i shuddered
as your large hands traveled
the familiar territory.

i didn't think of him.
i know i should have.

but the alcohol sang warmly in my veins.
and your teeth on my skin was heaven.
sickly sweet heaven.
we laughed like we used to laugh.
and your eyes bore into mine.
familiar taste on my tongue.

white powder swirling
in the dark of my eyelids.
i leaned into you like so many times before.
your arms, my pillars.
absorbed together.
only 15 hours spent.
but it was if nothing had changed.

i didn't think of him.
i know i should have.
Mar 2012 · 1.2k
crumble
Amber S Mar 2012
i tried my best,
or at least i thought i had.
with tactless fingers, i grasped the bricks
and jammed them
together.
days oozed into nights
five days, four nights.
it was awkward, imperfect but it would do.
but someone tore it down
he appeared from nowhere, with a hammer
as large as a lion. the bricks feel in one
clumsy sweep.
i tried again.
but this time with bricks and barbwire.
i placed the barbwire on top of the bricks,
in front of the bricks, under the bricks.
slicing my skin open once or twice.
my blood marking the territory,
i grinned in satisfaction
until another destroyer emerged
he knocked and banged. he hit and yelled.
so close. so close.
but not quite.
cracks in the bricks, the barbwire tore here and there.
more, i thought. more. more.
so then came the sheets of metal.
my muscles sung as i lodged the walls into the dirt.
i bathed in sweat but
i couldn't stop until i was done.
the walls secure, the bricks more or less together.
the barb wire sharp and deadly.
i stayed in my little house. my little cave. my little sanctuary.
with too many books and cat hairs
and i was content.
except for the hole clearly visible on my chest.
each day it widened.
i threw baggy clothes, blankets. it grew and grew.
you came along suddenly
you knocked politely at the front gate.
you whispered pleasantries and
begged to kiss my eyelashes.
i refused. i yelled. i shook my head until i rattled.
you persisted. you wanted my fingers, my insecurities,
you wanted it all, placed in a pile beside you.
crumble. one piece of the wall broke.
crumble. another.
crumble. and another.
and before i knew it your hands grasped my wrist.
before the tears escaped, you licked them up.
before i could speak, your tongue muffled any sound.
oh, the hole.
it closed, and closed and closed

"stop acting so brave," you whispered to my chest.
no walls. no walls.
but always tools nearby. just in case.
just in case.
Mar 2012 · 585
street light
Amber S Mar 2012
the night we held each other under the street light.
do you remember it?
it was summer, or close to it.
warm enough to wear a light sweater,
the scent of heat wafting in the air.
we hadn't been in a fight exactly.
but i guess it was something close to it.
i was upset, i believe, but i can't recall why.
the drive, i don't remember.
the songs played in my car, i don't remember.
but i do remember
the moment i stepped out of the car.
i remembered seeing you.
and i remembered the stitches breaking themselves
open.
there were no words between us, no light "hello"
or questions or explanations.
i ran to you, wrapped my arms around
your middle and sighed.
my anger vanished.
whatever feeling or resentment i had left,
with the changing season.
your fingers traced my hair,
the beat of your heart forever echoes in my head.
i breathed you in, and i secretly wished
that your scent would forever stay with me,
following me when i would have to leave.
we didn't kiss. or talk. or move.
we held each other. the street light
above us cast an eerie glow
and i remember thinking how *******
cliche it all was.
but i didn't care.
i remember thinking right then and there
how much i had really fallen in love with you.
i was thrilled but terrified.
for i knew from then on my rusty old heart
was yours.
the feel of your lips on my forehead
a cross between feathers and bubbles.
your hand enclosing mine, leading to your house.
and i smiled.
because i loved you.
and i love you so.
Mar 2012 · 730
canvas
Amber S Mar 2012
you slide in. you glide out.
you breathe me in. you breathe me out.
alcohol. merciless tango.
cotton candy haze
with a slight touch of skittles.
as this cloud enters me,
the fog playing a heart wrenching lullaby.
touch me. touch me.
bite my lips,
my eyes roll back.
hold me tighter,
watch me sail away.
run them fingers through my hair,
pull out daisies and butterflies.
touch me. touch me.
i'll explode.
another hit
i'm in the atmosphere
your skin tastes like salvation
and i want more. more.
your eyes. my sea.
my thundering sea.
i want to swim.
far.
far.
every color. like a painting.
fresh ink.
and i'm laughing.
i cannot breathe.
i cannot feel.
except for you and your body.
except for your love
spilled upon my canvas
seeping into my follicles
i am your work.
your piece of art.
and god, i'm ******* beautiful.
Mar 2012 · 557
perfect day
Amber S Mar 2012
state street.
sunny day.
wind nowhere close to hair friendly.
loud conversations.
hustle and bustle.
and your hand.
simple grasped around mine.
so simple.
but so beautiful.
i know,
it's what couples are supposed to do.
hold hands.
but when i hold hands with you,
i feel like i'm on top of the world.
the way your fingers brush my palm
how their warmth travels all
the way down to my toes.
and i love how i search for it,
always knowing it's just waiting
to be found.
sometimes you let go, but only so
your hand can snake around my waist.
we stumble along.
not the most graceful.
but i smile as my arm wraps around you.
you squeeze and i squeeze back.
it's just like all of those
cheesy, romantic, ***** worthy movies
but only a million times better.

because it's all real.
in another life i would say
it was a dream.
but, as the sun went down
the oranges and pinks bleeding all over the clouds
the guitar strings strumming
the cry of barely sober men tripping into buildings
the tickle of the breeze as it caught my hair in
a never ending tango.

the moment your lips brushed upon mine,
i knew no dream could ever compare
Mar 2012 · 623
fairy
Amber S Mar 2012
a ball of light has gone right through me
and exploded.
so if i randomly start to shine
or sparkle, that is why.
it is now in my veins, causing my heart
to pound non stop.
my eyes shine brighter, for the ball of light
has given me a gift.
my skin twinkles in the sun,
and i breathe the cleanest air.
my kisses are cosmic,
causing planets to move
and starts to explode.
i feel my body glide.
no effort needed.
i am a fairy, frolicking
through the meadows.

my wings alert and ready to fly.
Mar 2012 · 603
alone
Amber S Mar 2012
being alone, it isn't so bad.
at first, it is well...lonely.

that hole in your chest widens
and the pain is painted fresh
on your skin,
just like your tears.
you wrap your arms around yourself
since no one else is there to do it for you.
you question. you become angry.

but being alone, it isn't so bad.

you died to be in that party
squeezed, with no room to breathe.
you longed to have the alcohol
dance in your veins
with the eyes of a stranger burning
your skull.
but when you are really there,
the loneliness is overwhelming.
you are alone there, more alone
than one will ever be.
the bass is pounding inside you
but you can't hear a thing.
there are people all around
but the conversations are miles away.

being alone, it isn't so bad.

you have you, which is all you need.
with your thoughts,
your imagination,
your feelings.
you don't always need someone.
your soul is bright enough.
your heart is big enough.
when you are alone, smile
instead of scowl.

for it's not so bad.
Mar 2012 · 667
melted chocolate
Amber S Mar 2012
put your lips to mine and
breathe my life back into
my rusty lungs.
run your tongue onto my
crackling skin and
see it twinkle and shine.
nibble on my lobes and
i'll be hearing sugary tunes
all day.
crack a smile and the
silhouette will be fingerprints
forever upon my skull.
plant a kiss along the collarbone
no gem could ever compare.
your ocean eyes
salt will be leaking from my pores
the titillating breeze will engulf me.
darling. my beautiful darling.
you are my song.
the sun leaking through the clouds on
that gloomy day.
you are the sweet surprise i never
expected.
the metled gooey chocolate
on a sizzling summer's day
opening the wrapper
licking you clean
with the smears on my
cheeks and chin
you bite the tip of
my smudged nose
and i laugh
and i see, i see
nothing else.
Mar 2012 · 2.4k
kitty
Amber S Mar 2012
kitty has come out to play
her whiskers detect the yearning trembles
her nose smells the fragrance of lust
am i your **** cheetah?
the spots inky, the fur lustrous
the paws aching and alive
the eyes full of thirst
i purr with the twitch of your skin
my teeth scrape
my tongue salivates
my heart beat escalates
my ***** pulsate
my claws absorb you
my lean mean enraptures,
takes over.

don't move,
kitty wants to play.
she'll make you purr
before the night is through
Feb 2012 · 981
cowardly lion
Amber S Feb 2012
you were on the numbing screen
or more like your mammoth shape.
he purred like you used to purr
when your dandelion lips
swallowed me.
he spoke with broken glass and
limp wings.
my chest went humpty dumpty.
his eyes. not even close.
or his hands.
your hands. oh,
how they roamed my hills and valleys.
his words were yours.
a man in lion's fur
cowardly lion, more like.
but you were there. but you are gone.
gone with the firsts.
gone with the lasts.
gone.
with the pieces made of sunshine
and lemon pie.
i look through the holes, where the pieces are missing.
the fingers stick through.
i feel nothing.
and i know it's all your fault.
Feb 2012 · 561
silk and butterflies
Amber S Feb 2012
it feels like an old dress
that just feels wrong.
the arms hang loose, like droplets
dangling on the edge.
the stomach is too tight, tugging
at the forbidden places and threatening
to tear.
the legs. gawky. awkward. like
broken puppets trying to be real.
clunk. the feet are bricks. or ice cubes.
tripping. sliding. or both.
this skin is all hers, but it doesn't feel right.
she turns and shifts, hoping it will fit into place.
she scratches and bites, thinking it just needs adjusting.
'i want to feel silk and butterflies', she whispers,
in her skin that just feels wrong
Feb 2012 · 782
high
Amber S Feb 2012
your love is my drug.**

oh, hasn't that been done?
darling, i have no floors of glitter
or ear piercing autotune.

just my words.

but your intoxication is clearly visible.
the taste of your tongue
is a buzz that puts alcohol to shame.
your teeth sinking into my body
not all the joints in the world could compare.

your breath into my lips is my drug
your sweat will forever be my drink of choice

withdrawal symptoms
when you are not around.
nights full of holding myself,
hoping it has a piece, somewhere of you.
shivers and sweats, with nothing but
your hallucination to comfort me.

high. you make me so high.
high enough to kiss the stars and say hello
to the moon.
high enough to make me forget every
sliver of worry,
fragment of doubt.

high on your lips. your voice. your bites. your licks. your nibbles.
your touch.
high on your love.
high.
high.
high on you.
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