Amber S: Favorites

May 2012 Amber S

six years have passed, the family is fine

May 2012 Amber S

Christos Rigakos

six years have passed, the family is fine

six years have passed, the family is fine,
for we don't speak about him anymore,
but mother, with a frequent random line,
which closes lips, draws eyes down to the floor,

no, we don't speak about him anymore,
but fill our mouths with all things that distract,
our open living room has one closed door,
we chat about all things except one fact,

discussions, all sweet-tempered by our tact,
with tact we step around the elephant,
our dire necessity's survival act,
we've learned to force the smile and quell the rant,

at end of day each one within his room,
speaks to his memory in tones of gloom

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

Spenserian Sonnet

May 2012 Amber S

mine or yours?

May 2012 Amber S

Micah

mine or yours?

No keys have turned these locks too far
The clocks, we seized and burned
Erased? Replaced? No…
We’ve just misplaced the time
(not a waste)
Together
To get her
For the fair weather

Lesions learned
Not lessons
And not life
Scars. Burned.
Not bridges
Increase or lessen?
I’m unconcerned

The dreams did matter
It’s the wine glass, shattered on the wall
Ashes, ashes, and in the end we do not fall
Crash and clatter
Hopes and dreams?
The places once redeemed?
Now crooked like these leaves
Deceive, seethe,
Grief and release?

Please to pleasure
But mother **** the fair weather
Fine. I’ll release these ties that bind my
throat and wrist.
And I’ll give you the gist of it all
Ashes, ashes, in the end we fall
Smashed and battered
Hopes and dreams?
What the **** do they matter?
Tattered and torn
Like the wine glass, scattered on the floor
But the door shut when you walked away

But I still miss it all
I’d take the chance, the fall again
Only if I knew

Sundays may be the hardest
But for me it’s every
The envy of the other’s kiss
The other’s fu— I’m sorry… ***
The nights and weekends I reminisce
While you over(?)analyze

Unconditional, yes
As it always will
So long as it’s still free
So long as I can still breathe
And so long as I have these skeleton keys
Your keychain may be empty, but not mine
And your love… life… it may all be lost
but not mine

For I am longing, and I AM with trust
And I do care for the dust

I’ve been burned
I have the scars
But I am no different
I breathe

But not so easily anymore

May 2012 Amber S

Construction Time

May 2012 Amber S

Samuel

Construction Time

Only the best
       built up in an instant then
     sustained for a lifetime
              like a rainbow treehouse
           with a terrific view

I'll have a sturdy platform
       ready to hold you
   when you are

Apr 2012 Amber S

Your skin

Apr 2012 Amber S

JM

Your skin

on mine, after what should have been
the ultimate dealbreaker.

What is it about us?
I can only speak for myself;
I can't say no to your skin
My dearest, my darkest love.

Nobody but you has seen me as exposed,
as vulnerable.
Nobody has hurt me
like you have, with surgical precision and professional detachment.

I have my transgressions. I've wounded you as well.

Yet even with fresh blood on us,  we find a warm place to quietly lick our wounds together.

I do not write to create beautiful passages for others to enjoy,
Or for you,
Or because I feel the world needs  to hear what I have to say.
The world doesn't care about me.
I write not because I think I have a shred of talent.
Not  because I think I have profound wisdom to share.
I write about dogs and ****** and drinking and ******* and loving and dying and ******* and bleeding.

I write for the same reason I love you,
I have no choice.

Apr 2012 Amber S

inspiration

Apr 2012 Amber S

Makiya

inspiration

You have a morning in you
the only reason for which I wake.

Apr 2012 Amber S

Savor Life (Post-Its)

Apr 2012 Amber S

Samuel

Savor Life (Post-Its)

We need to talk
over a campfire

need to love under
a moon

to warm beside the glow
of shared dreams

burn on,
unscathed

That thought! Inside your head.
Give it a voice.

Apr 2012 Amber S

Here and Beautiful

Apr 2012 Amber S

Samuel

Here and Beautiful

quite frankly I'm
startled to see you
right now

thinking you must live
beside my thoughts, all
the time you share
with them

but here you are
here and beautiful.

Apr 2012 Amber S

Ties to Carry

Apr 2012 Amber S

Samuel

Ties to Carry

will you never
learn? fill me with
insignificance, set
me on fire and I'll
burn off like a tick

:

with social graces carried
over in naive rubato, it
always goes too far before
I notice the source of all
this flying dirt

:

I don't share well, never
intend to pursue that
strange notion, always
feeling that I am not
alone should be warm but
buries me alive in
soggy thinking
tonight

:

mind over (it
shouldn't) matter

:

oh if time were a
bomb I'd blow us all
up and forget to look
under my ribcage

:

p(our) (my)self out

like it? let me know why.

Apr 2012 Amber S

I was looking

Apr 2012 Amber S

Alison Dodsworth

I was looking

I’m looking out the window,
Because after all that the most I can do
It’s the closest way to get outside
I see those doors that I walked in
And realize I will NEVER get out
(well someday (soon) I will)
Things are a little exaggerated here,
But at the same time they are dumbed down

There is no worry. No worry.

I’m looking out the window,
And thinking that I would really like to be outside,
Just because I know I can’t.
I look at the doors, seeing the nurses come
In and out
They are so lucky because they have it figured out
I think.

I think and think and think.

I’m seeing those people outside
And they are wet because it’s raining.
It’s probably raining because I’m sitting here
If I were at home I would jump around
In the puddles with my little sister
I see myself doing that on that little broken patch of sidewalk
I know that my body has lifted itself
And flown outside the window

I’m am so far gone, gone.

March 4, 2012