Short life
Long days
***** downed
Hazy days
Lost friends
Found pain
Shots fired
Blood drained

Terrified of growing older
When work is an obligation
They have no sympathy
For a mental health vacation

Locked up in my room
Voices in my head shouting
Saying I should **** myself
That's the only way out  it

So forgive me if I'm reckless
While I'm still young
Because I don't give a **** if I live
Past 21

I’ve always thought that the human mind is beautiful
The way we feel, so complex, unique
Emotions of passion, lust and desire
To be able to dance, dream
Laugh, cry
Smoke, ****.

And trust.

To be completely open and vulnerable around another human being
Who in less than ten words can completely crush your spirit.

When you think about it
It really is phenomenal.


But the problem with happiness is
Although to some it comes easy
To others, it’s a little more difficult.




the human mind is ugly
jealousy, anger
obsession, hate
heartbreak
how one can be so overwhelmed
and weighted down
with something as scary as their own emotions
all within the mind of their own
something we like to think we have control over
but in reality is so convoluted, dangerous
and at any second can just

snap.



it's funny
how one day you can feel so strong

yet the next -








Was I ever so wrong to think that
in the end
in the bigger picture
it was just me and you.

Skinhead
super short
military hair
with a strong jawline
jutting out

I saw you
One random
blindingly hot afternoon
In a jeep

I tried to squeeze in
the small space so the two guys
could scoot over

You’re the guy to my right
Reluctant to pass to the driver
my exact change

You sat upright
Your right arm lifted, hand
closed on the security rail

I could only see your profile
Your jawline and Aviators
Mouth set in a deadpan line

Lean, quietly confident
Dressed casually and carefully
Odd eggplant-colored shirt over
whitewashed jeans

You turned slightly,
your nose strong
chin dignified
skin clean, with slight
blemishes of stress
Pretty eyes
That never landed on me

Your lips slightly curved
as if remembering something

You are beautiful
Arrogant-looking
Bored
Worldly

You’re not from here
Not from common places
Not from this wretched community I belong to

Then my eyes traveled to the back of your head,
An inscription was tattooed
at the back of your skull.
Your hair growing, beginning to cover up
the past?
A dangerous past?
New life?
A mere change of look?

Where are you going?
Where are you from?
Why are you taking this route
to and from common places?

What is your agenda
on this high afternoon?

Are you a rockstar?
Are you a poet
A gangster?

Then finally it’s my stop.
I got up and wished you
were following behind
That we have the same destination
Just so I could look at you
in full view

I stepped into
the sad, bright afternoon

Then I turned around
You’re not there

You sped away
To some place
Some life
With your Aviators
And your principles


And it hurt
That I never even
knew what
your tattoo meant

in the winter i met a boy
who lied about his love for me,
who hit me
never knowing why
and still, he said:
"i'm only doing this because i love you"
he left bruises on my arm
and scars on my wrists,
he always made fun of my
weight.
he never failed to say: "i love you"
with his mouth full of lies.
it has gotten so bad
to the point where i started
believing that
i deserved all he was doing to me

in summer, i met a boy
who treated me like a princess
he bought me nice things,
wrote me letters
he took the pain
a w a y
my parents approved of him,
my friends did too
he kisses like the devil
while keeping all of my demons
away
my friends told me
keep him. stay.
now i know
i deserved
more
than the boy i met in the winter
-b.m

So let the rain pour
I'll sleep today
Don't wake me till morrow
Unless you're here to stay

Give me this blessing
That I'll wake by your side
If the rain is still pouring
We'll stay inside

When it's over and the flowers bloom
I'll pluck a dozen and give them to you
The drops of rain will glisten and shine
Just like the brightness of your beautiful eyes

Give me this day
O' so full of rest
And allow me to show you
My very best.

**** me right
**** me wrong
Either way let's get together
And hum a love song