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blowtorch the little creature.

I yelp in an already
soundless
fire.

the poor are a substitute.

name one thing
I can replace.

my father stuffed me in his coat
and biked me
to a park.

he biked away when a lady approached us waving.
the teeth on the zipper of his coat made me hum to myself.
he said jesus I’ll bet she eats ice cream with two hands.

mother didn’t lower her voice because mother didn’t raise it.

flatness is a landmark.
as the sitting model
for a father

I am actual

sameness / groin

goes thumbtack

repetition is not doom
not to plant
not to animal
life

     whether gang sign or godspeak
it means my child

imagined
We were sat in the back row
she was watching the film show,
I was looking at her look at the screen,engrossed,
I had seen it before,
with Sharon next door,
who wasn't as pretty as this girl sitting near me.

I reached out my hand, she took hold of it,
and
my heart started racing,
seeking her cheek I kissed her,how sweet, and then she turned and kissed me,
fully on the lips.
I could feel it from my head to the tips of my toes
and now she knows how I feel
about her.
If she feels the same about me
this could be
the start of something new,
not just another picture show but someone I want to know and what I intend to go after.
I am not actually alive
Really it is true I am not actually alive

You think I am because I look and breathe like I am alive but deep down inside I am dead like a cut flower that lies in a vase.

Sitting the there bestowed upon you to gaze at in glory for the few days I have left with my beauty before it wilts and shows you my true colors.

The dry aridness of this place has withered up my body and soul.  

The cold has reached my heart, I am only with myself laughing out the true colors of my joy and mixing my sour tears of sorrow.

I am a woman of defeat that has reached his end. separated from my foundation I am no longer alive.

I lay here surviving on what is left stowed away before my better half was cut from me.
Beauty lies deep with in
Although we may not always defend
With the heart you never want to pretend
Seek out the beauty to the living end
My heart is blank script ready to be written
The beat is gone
It just wanting for the melody to come along
An empty casket ready to be filled
My heart is ready to be claimed
I am ready to be tamed
Come find me
You have two feet
Every time I search or come near
You run away in fear
I’m done chasing
My heart is in no condition to keep this pace up
Your time of me looking for you is up
Don’t shed a tear my heart is hear
But it is not moving so don’t miss out
Cause I’m not going to hold out
in the end, she was a pair of beautiful hands and he was mostly a heavy head.  in the beginning, she fed him too eagerly and wore a short dress of one color.  his own hands were hearing things and she’d put them on his ears.  he was either an unknown writer or a bill collector.  he scripted for her the last lovely times of the empress of bullish desperation.  as a young fathoming she knew him constantly.  I’ve ghosted for them since I can remember but am open to the possibility I haven’t.  touch is not touch but is where it’s hidden.
In the midst of everything
all we are,
are what we bring
to the table.
Sat in the doorway,
a throwaway man with a
cigarette and beer can
and a hangdog look on his face.

In this city of wealth,poverty takes some by stealth,
those who are healthy and fit often don't give a ****,it's not them in the doorway,they cannot see themselves brought down so low,
but go down to Mayfair or Stepney or Bow,there's a tidal flow of the throwaway men,who have nowhere to stay and if they do, then,
there is no job for them,no way to earn
and the cigarette burns,the beer can is crushed, a bit like the throwaways beaten and rushed to an end.

The end is an end by no means,
to the hungry and needy
who watch as the well fed and greedy go by,who sigh through the day in a throwaway kind of a throwaway way,
but it's what people expect from the 'workshy' and worthless,the cesspit of the city, and life does not pity them,nor do the throwaway men really care,
sitting there
in the doorway
where there seems no way
to escape.
Then Francois said,'so far it's looking okay'
and I,
being in Dieppe for the day
said,
'yes'
I could guess what you're thinking but I'm busy drinking cheap lager and wine,mixing hops with the vine,something I do all the time,
and the time is now,
got to forget it somehow,alcohol assists me
duty free.
I deleted our texts.

I erased all your voicemails.

Why?

because everything I see reminds me of you,
reminds me of the pain you caused me,
of the burn you gave me.

so I erased it all
like it never existed

hopefully I can do the same
with my mind nonexistence
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