It's hot and I am in pain. This poem is inspired by both of those things. Heat and pain never worked well together, in my experience.

I have a rare condition that causes me to have problems being able to dream and go into deep sleep. It's called rem sleep when you go to deep sleep. Normal people have rapid eye movements in deep sleep,  I do not. Sometimes this causes me to sleep walk but I remember doing it. I use to draw pictures of my experiences. I call it dream walking because I am walking in my sleep but I am also dreaming about reality. What's horrible about it is that in my sleep I don't suffer from dystonia so I don't have problems walking and moving. I wish it was real because I want to be able to move around like before. I am learning how to cope with it again. I had brain surgery in 2010 to put a deep brain stimulator into my brain so I can move. I had three years of freedom before it was stolen from me once again. Now I am sicker than I was before the brain surgery. It's not caused by the dystonia though. I didn't know I have genetic issues that show up after 29 years. The poor doctor's do their best to help me. They don't know everything. I am actually teaching them about rare occasions and how to treat them. I don't mind being a test patient. I made the decision a long time ago. My mom helped me. Now if the doctors need someone to help them understand something I am the one who they ask questions to. I have helped others over the years. I am proud of myself.

I am a kind person and I don't appreciate being attacked. I worry about others who are too anxious to speak up. I am speaking for everyone who is too afraid to. I am not afraid to say something if I don't feel safe. Please note that trolls are evil conniving people who don't care about your life, they find pleasure in others pain and reactions. I always recommend don't pay the toll to the trolls. They are ugly beings hiding behind a computer screen. That makes them cowards.

I wrote this for my love Seany. He's not just my love he's my best friend too. I will never be lonely because I have him, he's always in my heart.

I wrote this poem for my love Sean. He has struggled so have I but still we love each other. I will never be alone because I have him feeling the empty spaces in my heart. Through all the struggles our foundation grows stronger.

I have high functioning autism. Poetry helps me to communicate and taught me how to express myself so you can understand my situation. Technology has made my life easier. Without the internet I wouldn't be able to share with you, also I wouldn't have gotten where I am today. I also suffer from a rare movement disorder and I was able to get a brain surgery called Deep Brain Stimulator that helps me to be able to move. The internet made it possible for me to find the doctor and specialists who helped me. I am very grateful.