Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Amanda Shelton May 2021
My tear’s burn and sting,
raining down my checks.

Pain stains my skin with
scars of suffering.

I was given broken strings
and weak foundations, I have
built a stronger plot firmly
securing my roots and strengthening
my foundations.

Working with what I’ve got.
It’s easier working with
shorter threads and soft
dirt. My seeds are free
to grow as they please.

I have crawled myself out
of the hole, I have a chair
waiting for me.
It’s important
to have a safe spot.

I don’t love my things,
relationships are more
important than greed.

I’ve got many struggles
but many strengths to
hold me up and keep me
clean after I fall.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Amanda Shelton May 2021
Upon the beams of moonlight
I floated down to you.

I found you on the shore
of my dreams, there
I planted my wishes.

I lost you along the way
to the beaches of my dreams.

I floated alone, amongst the
star’s orbiting the moon of
possibilities.

Love, you forgot me.

You pushed me to the shore,
damaging the possibilities
you promised me.

I was forced to watch you
leave, from the island of
broken dreams.

I am still hopeful,
someday you will come
back to join me.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
May 2021 · 118
Dreamers Ocean
Amanda Shelton May 2021
On a cold dark road
there was a shimmer
in the distance, like
a ocean chillen in the night
the reflection was clear
and blue.

A cool breeze is blowing
over the hills, as the stars
wink and gaze upon the dark
haze.

You think to yourself,
this must be a dream.

Then a lite music slowly begins
to play, the sound is drawing
you closer to the edge of the
water.

A mist starts to gather,
a fog is coming in, the
cool wind kisses your skin.
Chills run down your spine,
goosebumps rise and you shiver
from its icy touch.

The song dances in your mind,
it pokes and pinches your
brain with stimulation from its
heavy sounds of water swooshing
about.

You feel like an ocean of
waves, lisping up and down.

Your mind is drifting upon
a dreamers raft, drifting
deeper into the fog and wind.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Apr 2021 · 183
The Depths Of My Heart
Amanda Shelton Apr 2021
Deep within my heart
lives love, there it is
cultivated and fed.

But my love is restless,
it is rooted in unstable
ground.

My foundation is neglected
by loves lacking embrace,
its touch hurts, brings
pain and scars.

My heart once had a dream
of being held and supported,
by a bond between two souls searching for love.

I was rudely awakened by
pain and heart break.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
I have been abused by a narcissistic boyfriend. I am still dealing with the damage. I have decided to no longer date nor have romantic relationships. I am not very good at being romantic. Also, I am damaged from passed abuse. I have had only three boyfriend's, they all were long term and ended because of the guys issues. I didn't expect to be dumped because they didn't tell me anything was wrong. The last boyfriend gaslighted me and made me feel crazy. He also made me feel ugly and insecure because he was jealous and complained about my makeup and everything I did. He accused me of cheating while he was doing drugs and breaking into my internet and devices. I don't trust anyone anymore to be honest with me. I've learned no one is honest. People are too busy trying to please themselves and trying to control everything. I am always on the side watching everyone behave like selfish robots seeking popularity. It's sad. I want to be with someone who is available and doesn't care about how much junk they can get. Just hangout and be with me. Tell me I am perfect just the way I am. Make me feel good about myself. Support my life by making me feel comfortable and confident in everything I do.
Apr 2021 · 102
Survivor
Amanda Shelton Apr 2021
Blue’s stained my mind
with its shady rolls of
ocean waves, tears flood
the shores of my dreams
as emotion’s move deeper
still fooling my vision
of calming tides.

I lost my mind alone the
road to the hole I dug
to bury my pain.

My heart overflows with
fog rain and wind, causing
a storm to beat at the bones
of my ribcage, leaving me
sore.

Sadness tripped me
before I could run.

I pull the strings of my life,
I draw the lines too, like a master
of my own design I created the
possibilities to survive.


©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Apr 2021 · 232
Burning Memories
Amanda Shelton Apr 2021
Burning memories,
with my heart.

Together we made
a love story.

Each turning page is
a mile in our lives.

The breeze pushes the
waves, pushing me closer
to the edge of my dreams.

I can barely see
the future but it’s
still there in its
frame. A bit blurred
and so far away.

I still remember your
gentle touch, your soft
kisses and hugs.

You are engraved in my
memory like perfumed
roses slowly dieing after
bring picked for viewing
pleasure.

These diluted dreams are
stitched upon my skin,
forever a stain, your memory
is sawn within my life,
and scratched within my book.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Apr 2021 · 178
Rising
Amanda Shelton Apr 2021
Boom boom bang*!
My lows are lowering,
my highs go thigh high
lower now. My ankles hurt
from the pressure.

I’ve got the need to sing
the blues, no lyrics, no rain,
just blues and sad clouds darkening.

The rain is falling now,
I’ve got the bucket out.

The mountains are building
higher too, I’ve got to work
My wings so I can fly.

My heart is beating loud,
my arteries are ready to
pop and bleed out.

Emotions rear, silently screaming,
burning from the inside out,
the storm is drowning happiness
but the steam is rising.

Happiness takes a break for now,
I’ll remember you I promised myself.

I left my candle on the window ceil,
where my poetry rests and awaits my
return.

Here I am in a slow burn,
the currents smoke and
rises in ashes,
as my wick flares and sparks
with doom blooming, as clouds
of smoke chokes me,
I am still breathing this
diluted air with little or
no confidence.

But I know I’m stronger,
I’m faster, I’m smarter than
before.

I am a natural born fighter,
my momma taught me well.

Never let the devil win,
I’ve got the cards, I’m
the string’s and I can sing.

Be brave, be proud, be loud,
stay strong and firm, like
a rock on the ocean floor.

I’m stronger now,
stronger than before.

I’m like a mountain, my
peek’s are sharp and rises
above the clouds.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Apr 2021 · 76
The Vampires Curse
Amanda Shelton Apr 2021
This was a lucid dream I had.
Part three of my lucid dream series.
-----------
The sun devours me,
like a dragon its blaze
burns me.

Blood is life but a
curse, my soul is lost
to its flood.

Ashes are my fate the
end is hot and sweat.

Death forgot about me
long ago, left me drowning
in darkness.

Such things exist in nightmares,
our worst ideas come from the
depths of darkness creating
monster’s from fanged teeth.

We bite and drink from the fable’s
we’ve shared, like vampires lurking
in the shadows of our minds.

To be a monster is to be alive
but dead at the same time.

The grave was dug centuries
before our time.

The shadows have a heartbeat,
anxiety shines, tells you to
run, tells you to hide.

But nothing can stop death,
she’s a beautiful theft with
beautiful eyes. She sees you
in your sleep, she knows when
you are scared, she knows when
it is your time. Her kiss is the
last you will crave, desire wins
everytime.

The Vampires curse is a fabled
truth, its a monster living behind
your own eyes.

A story, a myth passed on
through the years.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
This is the third vampire poem part of my lucid dream series. I had a lucid dream where I was forced to follow a vampire. I sleep walked. I tried waking myself up by touching a wall but it failed. I knew I was dreaming and sleep walking. I was forced to endure the dream until I heard a scream and a loud boom. I do suffer from a rare condition called exploding head syndrome. Stress causes it. It causes me to hear a loud boom or bang, sometimes screaming or yelling. It ****'s me awake every time it happens. I had the dream the day after Christmas. I was very sick and went to the hospital on Christmas morning. It stressed me out.
Apr 2021 · 106
Autism & Me - Part Two
Amanda Shelton Apr 2021
Ti’s a dream of mine,
to fly above the mountains and sea.

To be free from the cage
I was born in.

My autistic mind is that like
a tree, it grew into the plot
I’ve dug; my roots are deep and strong.

I have fought infections
and disease.

I have suffered on my hands
and knees.

I sacrificed myself for
illness and family.

What has autism done for me?

It taught me how to be smart.

How to communicate and collaborate.

It taught me the importance of community and guidance.

It taught me how to love
unconditionally, without
judgement, honestly and
openly.

I am a unicorn amounts horses and ponies.

My brain is textured and viscous, it pushes me to the edge of reality. Forces me to
face my fears.

Anxiety and depression are my roommates but never
do I invite them.

To be me, is like being Alice
peeking through the looking glass.

Come have tea with me.

I’m the best hostess because
I always over achieve.

Niceness is like the sweetest candy, I am such a sweet ****.

I’m honest to a default.

Autism and me.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Amanda Shelton Mar 2021
Yawn! stretch and paw.

Oh, how I knead you,
purring to heal you.

My pink nose and whiskers
tickling your toes,
I knead you like dough
paw and purs I know.

I love you so.

I’m always the
cutest trend.

The internet loses
its sanity, sharing
my face as I wink
and shake.

Like a chubby loaf of bread,
I’m perched on your head
on your keyboard and bed.

You have no privacy,
for I am always kneading
you cuddling and puring.

I’m running ahead,
chasing shadows and
a piece of thread.

I know when you are
sad and sick, I pat
you and do cute tricks.

I share food and love
as though we are equal.

My love is unconditional.

Sometimes I seek attention
I tease by breaking things.

Meow, at the screen,
cat’s rule this scene.

I knead you, meow!
purrty please adopt, me.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Don’t shop, adopt. I adopted my cat Boo and she’s my purrfect match.
Mar 2021 · 107
Brave
Amanda Shelton Mar 2021
I sacrificed my life
for peace and stable mind.

I kneel every night,
bow my head and take
my plight placing it
before the Lord’s feet.

It’s no longer mine,
I lift myself up to
the Lord’s divine plan;
I promised him I will
follow the roads he
built for me.

I’ve met my shadow
many times, within
my meditation we take
flight.

A quiet place to reflect,
a mountain of possibilities
I climb and move by building
a strong foundation.

I am a tool, an influence
upon the environment.

I discovered myself years ago,
I once was lost; chained by
illness and grief, but faith
broke the chains and released
my soul.

I no longer grieve
I accept my condition,
by doing so I have already
won the fight.

I use to argue with myself,
I fought self-esteem,
I hated my differences
and being unique.

I had to face my shadow
before the walk, for the
deeper parts of who I am
was lost.

Depression and anxiety
ruled my life, until
I took control
I became its friend.

I am my own advocate,
for I am a unique soul,
one in five million I
stand tall.

Be proud to be you,
we all are beautiful
and rare.

I am a unicorn, autistic
and fair.

I love you and
everyone too.

I understand without you
I wouldn’t be here.

Life is never about me,
its about everything else
around me.

We are the designers of
life, we move mountains
and oceans.

We are the title waves
upon the great tragity
of life.

Live well, be bold
and brave, for life
is too short to always
be afraid.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Mar 2021 · 72
Shadow
Amanda Shelton Mar 2021
I ponder, what it is like
to be my shadow.

To be shadow,
Its lonely, avoid of color,
no cold, no heat, dark, and
empty.

Even though I am always
beside you, I am ignored
by most.

The dark devours me,
the light gave birth to me.

I am your companion,
never invited but welcomed.

I have written many a poem,
alongside your lamps and
daytime wonderings,
I am your inspiration.

A muse.

We are one, never departed
but separated by darkness,
and the light brings us together.

Every step you make, I follow.
Every move you make, I follow.
Without your breath I can not
breathe for you are my breath.

I am Shadow.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Mar 2021 · 168
Dystonia
Amanda Shelton Mar 2021
No compromising, I am
bearing the pain.

The pressures crushing me,
slowly contorting reality
into a lucide dream of
misty minds melting into
burning piles of sore muscles.

I am twitching, cramping,
infections know me well.

I am the nightmare that reminds
you walking, talking, and breathing
should be easy but I am holding
you down.

Pain burning, deeply now,
slowly the fog devours everything.

My mind is a valley full of
infections and shadows
from my passed struggles
with dystonia.

In disrepair, every gear
I try to turn, every string
I try to pull gets me nowhere.

This marionette of broken
porcelaine, and burnt painful flesh
stretches to its limitations until
I pop, oops! all the black glitter
falls out.

My heart is strong,
my mind is loose,
my muscles are neither
but I am accepting this
suit.

I hold the power, self reflecting
keeps me grounded.

Lord don’t drop me now.

I’ve gotten so far, I forgot
about the sacrifice because
of this broken device.

Once its fixed my life persists.

Dystonia!

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
I am awaiting surgery to repair my Deep Brain Stimulator. This poem is my thoughts and anxieties.
Mar 2021 · 99
To Be A Poet
Amanda Shelton Mar 2021
You won't get anywhere if
you want likes and following.

If you don't enjoy your writing
you need to take a break.

Writing isn't about likes,
its about enjoying the process.

A great writer knows how to write
from practice and passion.

Its not just pen and paper,
its a practice of patience
and skill.

It can become a drive that
is like a volcano.

The more you write and share,
more likely others will follow.

Don't give up! Just keep writing.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Amanda Shelton Mar 2021
Me: Don’t you come any closer!

I am warning you!

Please don’t come over, please.

I am trying, I am calm.

Don’t come back please!

I don’t like you.

Your horrible.

I hate you, your a monster.

Why are you here?

How do I stop you?

Go away!

Ouch! I am crying and oozing.
I want to bang my head into
the wall. I can’t set still.

It hurts so bad.

Cluster headache: Hahaha! Geer!
I bite you and stabe you in the eye.

You can’t stop me!!!

I will be back, you won’t see me coming.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
I have suffered from cluster headaches from babyhood. I had three years without them. I started suffering again in 2016. Its the worst pain I've ever experienced. Worse then when my gallbladder was full of stones. Some doctors call them suicide headaches because some people don't want to live through it. I am a fighter and I want to live my life even if sometimes I have pain. My passion for living keeps me going.
Mar 2021 · 182
What Is Poetry?
Amanda Shelton Mar 2021
Expression, creativity, words,
artful, sentences formatted carefree.

Poetry can be a unique experience, its a form
of expression like art.

It is what the writer
wants it to be.

A simple definition,
poetry is a form of
writing. It’s an easy
concept that people
have over dramatized.

My own is free formed,
with freshly baked
ingredients.

My list of poetic ingredients

1. Imagine the story.
2. Think quickly.
3.Use simple words and build up to larger complex sentences. Until I reach a ******.
4. Be a rapper spit lyrics like a dragon spits fire.
5. Don’t over think about it.
6. Write.

"Be free in your mind
and the poet will fly."

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Mar 2021 · 71
Vampire
Amanda Shelton Mar 2021
I can smell the heat
raising from the stone
above, the earth is warm
but cold underneath the
slab I lay, no breath I
release.

I’m cold beneath the
girth of the grave.

So cold am I, choking on
the dirt, every night
I awaken to the living,
drinking from their
fountain of forever dead
but still I am digging.

Deeply burdened by the
acid sun, bites my skin
burns my being deep within.

Ash and bone, I’m
grinding the stone.

Dripping, bleeding,
tasting the heat like
a thirsty monster licking
its teeth.

Hunger lives in between
my teeth, grinning wide
with eyes like Sapphire
gem’s.

Lips as pale as my skin,
as ivry porcelain.

Salvation comes on the
beams of sunlight
streaming from above.

So close I am,
yearning for the
taste of blood.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
I had a dream about this but I wasn’t the vampire, I watched through second view point of a vampire. I don’t dream often but when I do I lucid dream. It can be confusing waking up in a dream. I feel like I am falling and slowly I open my eyes and I am aware I am dreaming. Sometimes the awareness wakes me before I get to experience the dream. I don’t dream about Vampires often either so that was an odd experience. I thought I should write the poem down to share with you. Sometimes I find inspiration in my dreams, this poem is one of them.
Amanda Shelton Mar 2021
Imagine chewing a large piece of gum,
now after the first 25 chew’s
spit that out.

Now imagine yourself being
small enough to swim in a
glass of water, now place
your tiny self into the gum.

Try to run! Come on, run!
You can’t.

Then you try to move but
the gum is pulling your
body back into itself.

You build muscle and you find
away to move but you’re still
stuck.

You find out you can break parts
of the gum but you have to move
quickly.

From there you learned to
flop yourself against the walls
you can wait there for assistance,
like a fly in a spider web.

Now you understand how
I feel.

Also, I feel like a
beached whale, or an
overstuffed panda bear.

Let’s do the MizzTwitch shall we?
Wahwahwah! Twitch, twitch, twitch!
Yeah buddy! ~~~~~~~√

© 2021 By Amanda Shelton
I am dealing with my Dystonia until I get another surgery to repair the batteries to my deep brain stimulator. I am also waiting for my pain pills to be refilled. It should be ready tomorrow. I have to wait up to a month for my surgery. I thought about this poem while taking a shower. Its hard to move without a working device. I am half android a bionic woman. Dystonia ***** but technology is awesome, together they are legendary 😎
Jan 2021 · 174
A Good Poem
Amanda Shelton Jan 2021
From the gaping wounds I escape,
from its painful thrubs I leap,
relief is found in formatted sentences
and bleeding ink I smudged upon these pages.

For you to leave this page empty and
confused is to know I failed
to write a good poem.

It takes a master to draw you
in, it takes skills to paint
with words like an artist
paints with brushes.

Years of research and experience,
builds a masterful piece of work
and expressions.

Time dosen’t heal alone,
it needs help along the way.

Line by line,
slowly I build my rhyme,
it grows like a flower slowly
blooming into a beautiful tapestry;
complex and designed by a poetic
mind.

My threads are heavy, easy to read
and to imagine my story.

The simplest words and softest lines,
can build a tapestry so beautiul it
burns in your mind for a long time.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Jan 2021 · 97
Loves Promise
Amanda Shelton Jan 2021
This be truth,
love dreams of you.

You are loves wish
come true.

A kiss so fair, upon
a blushing cheek it
warms the heart even
when freezing winter’s
hug tightly holds your
heart in its contemptuous
embrace.

Love is the victim
of hate and abuse,
it can hurt you or
save you from
loneliness embracing
your fragile heart.

The heart is that like
porcelaine, it’s easily
creaked and tampered by
the pressures of love and
its embracing of passionate memories.

Upon a lovers promise,love
settles with the whispering
wind as two hearts are
colliding.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Jan 2021 · 138
Born Philosopher
Amanda Shelton Jan 2021
I was born a poet,
with a pen in one hand
ideas in the other.

I am also, an artist,
with paint running through
my veins, and a bigger
picture mapped out in
my brain.

Its a big responsibly,
my birthright is to
be a philosopher.

I love learning and sharing
the knowledge.

Philosophy is simple, but the
concept is complex and diverse.

It can be a river of flooded
concepts, rooted in historic
preservation of ideas.

Philosophers like myself
preserve the ideas of its
concept’s and diversity.

Faith keeps my interest free
and unchained by societies
views of how life should be.

I knew early on in my life,
I am the master of my own destany.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Amanda Shelton Jan 2021
To be mad, is to repeat the same thing even though its broken. Beating the heart after it stops. Not accepting chances. Not taking effort to learn. Not caring enough. Thinking poorly of everything. Depression at its deepest depths.

I once suffered from madness. I became Alice.

Now I am the raven, I am craving a poetic mockery of a desk, with a quill in one hand and ideas in the other.

No madness in sight.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Amanda Shelton Jan 2021
Upon the waves I crashed
ashore, the force caused change and chaos pursued.

We all are like chaotic
oceans, crashing against
the shores of life.

We become earthquakes,
moving mountains with
our technologies and
inventions.

Our minds evolving over time, we become more aware of the changes we’ve caused.

Not everyone is open minded, it takes a philosophers view point to direct the way to the future possibilities.

I am a modern day philosopher, I enjoy learning and teaching.

Language is my best quality,
art is my favorite entertainment
and personal journey.

The art of living is
my job.

My poetic journey slowly
plays out upon these pages,
I’ve created.

My expressions stain the
internet with my rolling
formats of sentences and
word play.

Its a full deck of wildcards,
you never know what your going to get.

Jack be shameless,
Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
Jack drew an ace
missed the king,
kissed the queen of hearts,
while playing a deck of
fools.

We all play a part.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Amanda Shelton Jan 2021
We all are playing a part
in the tragic comedy, our
lives grind to ash slowly
as we are forced to face
the harsh reality.

Blissful ignorance once
blinded me, numbed my tongue into silence making
me dumb.

As I grew, I flew into
the fog I learned how
to clear the clouds,
I took control over
my own destiny.

Once I thought I was alone,
I met myself and discovered
there’s so much more.

I am not a lonely shadow
hunting for the light,
I am a flame a beckon for those who feel the same.

I am not lost, for I found
myself and I accepted who
I am. I will always second guess myself, but I accept
that as normal.

I can only bend to my own,
climbing mountains, and
fly over hills, but in
my own unique way.

I am brave and strong,
I’ve taught others to do
the same.

That’s my job and I’m
okay.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Amanda Shelton Jan 2021
To my abuser and ex love,

Upon my tears I release
my strife. The memories
of you taste like ash it
rotted and decayed long ago.

You promised me forever but brought me shattered dreams
instead.

I lost your heart to your
selfish muse, your in love
with greed and dishonesty.

I was beaten down until
I felt like I was nothing
but an annoyance an unbearable itch that keeps burning.

But it wasn’t me, it was
your sins that rules your
kingdom of hateful lies
you tell yourself.

You have no one to blame
but yourself, yet still,
still you cry wolf while wearing sheeps skin.

No one believes after
the first lie, each time
you speak to manipulate
you push a wage in between,
your a coward because you
don’t have the guts to be
honest and change your behavior.

I have worked hard to be
strong enough to not blame
myself for the abuse you
threw at me.

I am a good person,
I am a kind smart
and unique human being.

I had to learn how to accept myself while you were lying
telling me I am nuts and I
should take medication that
hurt me and I don’t need anymore.

If you are truly a good person
you would have changed your behavior and show it.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
If someone makes you feel horrible about yourself, you should get away from them. Its abusive to bully and hurt. It doesn't matter why someone abuses, it's not right. No one should allow it. Everyone deserves to be loved and feel secure. Forgiveness starts with forgiving yourself. It's healthy to be honest and kind. Reflect good and good will reflect on your life too. You should talk about your issues instead of reflecting hate and ugliness. It's no one's responsibility to make you happy. Happiness is personal.
Amanda Shelton Jan 2021
Two hearts once collided,
hitting walls along the way,
beating passion drumming away.

Boom! Boom! Pow!
Love crashed upon the
shore, moved like a giant
wave shoving anything
in its way.

As the wave drew back
to its sea, it dragged
debra and trash, it left
scar’s upon the land.

Love can be fragile and
beautiful, it can break
things or make you stronger.

Love can hurt, because
its a mess of emotions all
in one place, the heart
is like a cage.

To love is brave,
to be loved is a want
a desire to be accepted,
we all crave its chaotic
wave and crashes.

The shadows of its doom
is always looming over
our heads, like a theft
in the night it slowly
sneaks up behind you
ready to collide with you
in the deepest depths
of our lives.

There’s always a boat
waiting for you to take
a trip upon the chaotic
sea’s of a lovers wave.

Tides of passion grow
as the seasons change,
so does the direction
of the waves.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Dec 2020 · 66
Whispered Memories
Amanda Shelton Dec 2020
Like a frozen teardrop
I became water in your
touch and the warmth of
your kiss followed me
through the winter nights.

That was but a wish.

I remember this like it’s
a whisper left on my pillow.

The shadow of your memory
fades away upon the breeze.

Its over now,
it must have been a dream,
a long forgotten wish
that never got to breathe
for you took it back and choked it.

With your lying lips
and cold hearted burn
you killed the passion
with one word. Love!
It hurts sometimes.

©️ 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Dec 2020 · 79
To Be A Dreamer
Amanda Shelton Dec 2020
T’is a night of moonlit
dreams, a song of sorrow
the shadows sang.

Wolves vent their howls,
The star’s began to stir
and fade into the slow
rising beam’s of light.

Night shrouds the earth
in foggy clouds, a cold
chill settles still.

The inky black sky cascades over tragic hills, and
the night full of mysteries waiting to be discovered
slowly fades with the rising
of the sun.

Now a night of dreaming, I weep for I am awakening.

©️ 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Dec 2020 · 76
My Poetic Smudges
Amanda Shelton Dec 2020
Whilst wandering your dark
and tormented way you came
to my darkened doorway, and
I greeted you with a warmth
and loving light.

Upon these pages I write,
an expression away to
share my life.

I bring oceans and dreams
to life with my poetic
devices and digital pen.

Each line is formatted and
designed with you in mind.

I have a gloomy disposition
but a beautiful valley of
blooming flowers and a star
lit sky to light your way.

I am like a unicorn amongst
horses, my unique views draw you in.

My little heart beats like
a poetic drum.

I bleed poetic ink, leaving
my smudges upon your screen.

©️ 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Amanda Shelton Nov 2020
Upon the rising sun the pain
arrives riding the rays of light. As the painful fog
migraits settling upon my
holiday cheer, like a shadow
monster ready to devour
the hours I cherish.

Upon the arrival of October and November, migraines and cluster headaches come for a visit.

Into the core of my eye drilling deeper over time,
blindness slowly devours
my vision as time beats
with painful rhythms.

An hour passes as the light
breaks through the fog, my
vision is restored as the pain fades away.

Ocular migraines are
nothing compared to
cluster headaches.

I’d rather suffer through the
Ocular migraines than have
a month long battle with a
painful stabbing behind my
right eye.

This is a ocular migraine,
but cluster headaches,
are the most painful hours
of my life.

There’s no treatment nor
cure for headaches and
migraines.

We are forced to suffer through the process.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Today I had a ocular migraine. Ever since the beginning of October I’ve been suffering through headaches and migraines. It’s the season for holiday cheer but also pain for those who suffer from migraines and cluster headaches. At least I don’t have seasonal depression. That would make it harder to deal with my pain. Thank God for my ability to handle this. You have to be strong minded as well as physically prepared. I use to have depression so I understand how it works. If I give into any negative views at this time I will feed the depression, and I don’t like depression. I trained myself to redirect the chemical imbalance that caused my depression. I started breaking free from the chemical imbalance around the age of 23 by the time I was 25 I was free from all the symptoms. It would have taken longer if I didn’t start training at the age of eleven. It’s so much easier to deal with everything without being held back by the depression. I face my fears more often too. Nothing is holding me back from fighting this. I have been through a lot worse than this.

Thank you for reading my poem. Peace and love, my lovely friend. May the Lord’s blessings be with you. Happy holidays.  ❣️☮️🕊️

Remember this, this too shall pass. As time has always been moving forward. The future is important but now is more important because it leads to the future. First impressions are more important than second. Because the more you process something the weaker it becomes because the process causes change and change causes aging.
Amanda Shelton Nov 2020
To be a great artist
and writer, you have
to suffer.

Those who survive
are those who become
great.

Be true and fearless,
for this too shall pass.

Remember your blessings,
sacrifices, and achievements;
and learn from your mistakes.

We are flawed but perfect,
as long as you believe in
yourself and trust that
you have a future.

Those who can imagine
the possibilities are
the future leaders and developers.

Be bold and brave,
don’t be afraid.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Nov 2020 · 75
Black Widow
Amanda Shelton Nov 2020
Watch her winding, watch her sew, watch her binding like a pro.

Black widow, sleek and true,
not so shyly she’s calling
you.

Sewing through out the night,
vibrating silk strings,
winding her threads slowly.

She says, “Come hither my
friend,” as she pulls out
her threads.

Careful now, she’s no friend.

She’ll trap you in her
spiders web.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
I saw a black widow and came up with this poem.
Oct 2020 · 125
Make Room For The Future
Amanda Shelton Oct 2020
You fight with possibilities,
for footing but keep lossing
ground.

Your heart beats like
a monster ready to
devour your life.

Yet you keep the struggle.

Weaker but deeper you plung
into the history of pain.

Sucker punched by regret,
it heals quickly.

Don’t give up yet,
you’ve just got started.

Your star is still trekking,
searching for the life you were promised.

Look closely for your
missing the bigger picture.

Be like a sun blazing across the universe burning regret
like an unwanted cigarette.

Leave behind your flawes
and mistakes, the future
needs room.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Oct 2020 · 81
Flesh and Bone
Amanda Shelton Oct 2020
We are birthed from
flesh and bone.

We break the molds our parents built for us.

Mom and dad don’t you understand?

I’m no fool or puppet
to be controlled.

There’s no working mold,
it’s flawed and my life
is leaking from the holes.

The womd was worm and inviting, the world is
cold and fighting.

We come out surviving.

This life is demanding, grinding on flesh and bone,
until dust and ash remain.

You become dust in the wind,
a memory, a shadow of your former self.

Your memory is up to you,
what will you leave behind?

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Oct 2020 · 65
Memory
Amanda Shelton Oct 2020
Have you ever noticed that life is a memory but the current moment?  

It fades so quickly sometimes you don’t have time to hold on to it.  

The only thing left from yesterday is a faint perfumed moment in your mind.  

Like smoke, it slowly releases itself into the universe until it becomes smog and part of the other experiences you collected.

It fades when another comes to shove its way into the current passages of our lives.

It’s rare for someone to be able to keep it for a lifetime.

Life is but a passing moment an instant blink that lasts less than half of a second.  

A dream of sorts, or a clouded sky moving upon the forces of the wind.  

For me its a storm that builds it never fades, it just keeps collecting more of itself, gathering within my mind.  

My mind is polluted with memories.  

I am a bottomless pit of past experiences that never leave me.  

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Oct 2020 · 117
Muse de l’harmonie
Amanda Shelton Oct 2020
Muse Of Harmony
______

Upon the wind
I ride the breeze,
like a cowboy
rides his horse.

I’m a free soul wondering,
my light never fades,
for I shine like a star.

I am brighter in the dark.

See me glide,
on the north winds
I fly.

The deep blue sea
is my lover,
she never forgets me.
She rises to my ovation,
her tides deep and
always rolling.

Upon the wind I came,
upon the ocean waves
I’m leaving.

Naked and true,
my life is written
upon these pages
for you.

Don’t cry for me,
rejoice instead.

My life I lived with
God on my side and
the devil lost me
before he found me.

My poetry is the blueprints
to my disteny,
I write line by line
formatting the path of
least resistance.

I tug you in with my
bleeding ink smears,
smudging my life onto
these webpages I built.

Its a rythme to my rhymes
and a mission for my life.

This is my Gothic muse,
it shines in the dark,
my poetry bleeds through
the depths of your views.

Even my shadow
comes to play,
tipping the table
spilling my chaos,
staining these pages
with my deepest sorrows
and depths of my expressions.

This became an ocean of grief,
a beautiful breeze,
a forget me not litter.

Forevermore,
my heart is free
for I set it loose
upon this stage.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Oct 2020 · 89
Loves Tragidy
Amanda Shelton Oct 2020
Be bold and brave upon the ocean waves, descending into it’s depths of blue and gray.

My heart once sailed on the moon’s beams of passion. Written upon the stars, above my lovers gave the passion slowly floated away.

These tides are tragic and memorable, like a kiss from darkness it devoured my dreams and hopeful wishes.

My pain drowned the beating lovers heart, killed the possibilities of forevermore.

The shadows came to settle upon the meadows of my dreams, I watched as the light faded and stole the beauty I treasure.

Now I am left with suffering and a hollow space where my lover once laid.

Love is tragic and waning like the changing of the moons gaze. He bowed to me and said fair will, kissed my cheek and left me in his shadow.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Amanda Shelton Sep 2020
Crash into me, brush aside your wasted time, I have a rhythm for your mind.

I’ve been ******* on a dime, I like it’s flavor, I know I am odd.

Can you ******* rythme, can you feel it’s metal zinging on your mind?

I’ve been working on this for some time, working up line by line building the ****** to engage your brain dragging you deep into my mind.

This is the depth of my existence, the ink bleeds from my arteries. Poetry is what I leave behind, my missy floods of expression.

Your left swimming in my pools of formatted creations, passion brings you to my surface.

I zing upon your mind, the taste is like metal, cool and you climb my mountains of rhymes. I’ll catch you if you fall, my rhythm catchs everything.

This rolls so easily off the tip of my tongue, like a cool breath exhaled with my rythme following behind. I plant my poetic kiss upon this page for you to consume.

Thanks for stopping by.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Sep 2020 · 65
Letting Go Of You
Amanda Shelton Sep 2020
I wanted to believe in us…

The universe had other plans for us, breaking the bones of love and passion. I bled for this.

Breath I am, pain I bear and I confess my bruises are deeply engraved in my heart.

Stitches hold the memory of you and your vows you left broken it tears the fabric of the love you promised me.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, kisses lost upon the losses I gambled on your broken promises. Stolen by the winds you blew into my heart of caution.

Nothing but scars remain. Your memory is nothing but pain beating at my chest for entrance, but I locked you out. Built a wall around the wounds. I am finished playing your sick game.

You walk with the devil, I am not like you. The Lord’s plan is more important. I am letting you go…

This pain is deviant, frustrating and blue. I’d rather have greens growing in my mind, a reminder of happier times. Trees full of ripened love, ready to be consumed.

My hopes ran away with you. I have to find a new hope, one that will never die. I have to let you go so my heart can survive.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Sep 2020 · 58
Deeply Blue
Amanda Shelton Sep 2020
Upon my sorrow pours my pain, flooding my life with suffering. The blue turns deeper with ever breath I exhale.

Slowly leaching forth from the depths of the darkness, my tears release agony from it’s caged room in which I grew stronger. Building strength to win this battle.

Pain is not a friend I invite over for crumpets and tea, it is my foe and greatest enemy.

I never wanted suffering, I never thought it would try suffocating me from the inside out.

For I am a candle blowing in the wind, I blow smoke to call you in. But pain decided to still the light that burns so bright. It tries to devour my flame as if I don’t hold it’s spark or kindling within myself.

Its ignorant to my strength, while pain beats loudly at my door, I am preparing for the future and nothing can still my heart.

I become a fixture, a brighter blazer than ever before. I burn for the Lord almighty. His flame never burns out.

Within the Lords heart I am rooted, my plot is firmly planted upon heavens girth. I will be reborn in heaven. Like a seed I grow underneath my Lord’s feet.

The plows are ready to sew what I reap, each grain goes to my flame feeding my soul leaving my suffering barren and defeated. I sacrificed my pain so I can live again.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Aug 2020 · 67
Writer
Amanda Shelton Aug 2020
A writer never dies, for
their life is published
on pages of white,
they live forever within
the stories they write.

I sat thinking many times
before, spilling my missy
thoughts all over the floor, exposing it for all to read.

I am a writer,
My life is a paper
crisp and crumbled
with ink smudged edges.

I am always
lost in the jungles
of my deepest thoughts.

A ghostly poet
reincarnated through
a lost art of ink smears
and smudges.

I am yelled and scared
by time and my poetic crimes.

I gather myself upon these
pages, so the masses can
devour my deepest thoughts.

No pressure,
no pushing or shoveling
just a grave for my
poetic muse, for your
passionate views.

I bring to life expression,
my written strife burning
holes in the book of my past
experiences one line at a
time. Formatting strife
while I surf the poetic oceans of my life.

I fall deeply into the dark
but I burn bright as the
black devours the night,
for I become its light.

No darkness can divide us
from this process.

For I bleed ink so you
don’t have to, I sacrifice
my suffering with poetic
justice so you can find my truth.

These page’s are witness
to my poetic crimes.

Welcome to my personal
expression, its a trip into a
passionate relationship
with my muse.

No depression can survive
for my muse devours it with
darkness as it collapses
upon these pages turning
into smudges of life, I
bring it into the light.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Amanda Shelton Aug 2020
I trusted you with my heart,
you manipulated and tortured
me until I fell apart.

You never loved me,
instead you accused
and tortured me with
your constant accusations
and abusive nagging relations.

You cheated on me
with your addictions
and your blue devilish
eyes.

Your good at manipulation.

You brought the devil to
my door with no remorse
or respect for my life.

You lay upon your bed of lies,
amongst the decay and flies
your most comfortable.

Your betrayal smells gross,
as you try to hide amongst
the ghosts of your evil deeds.

The ghosts pound upon the posts,
pounding louder as you blunder
through your life, your deeds
hot upon your trial.

You can’t hide from your
demons boy, the truth finds
you with its brilliant spotlight
it burns your eyes and pushes
you out from beneath your lies.

Nothing covers up the truth.

The truth is always behind you,
you can cover up a lie by telling the truth, so why waste your
time being a fool telling lies?

Honesty brings solitude and
strength, lies bring ugliness
and unnecessary pride and
prejudice.

You tired to make me look like
a fool, when you are the
dishonest one and God knows
the truth so does my family
and friends.

You messed with the
wrong lady, I’m no fool
for the devil like you.

I don’t play the poker game
of lies, I don’t like flies
I respect my life and faith.

You decided to lay upon
your bed of lies,
you look like a fool
with your devilish grin.

Your playing the game with
the devil on your back.

He’s biting you but you
never fight back.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Aug 2020 · 59
Shatter Me
Amanda Shelton Aug 2020
I am broken,
my heart fell apart
like fragile porcelain.

I once was your dancer,
caught in your fragmented mind
dancing in a circle seemed
like forever.

But you broke my heart
over and over again, each
time I got stronger, I
built a better person
out of the shattered pieces
of myself.

My heart will always remember
your smile and blue eyes
that pulled me closer into
your world.

You lied to me,
you promised me forever,
you promised me you’d
be good to me, treat me
like I am special.

Instead you beat upon my
porcelain heart until it
shattered into fragments
of who you are.

Love, you broke my jars
releasing the passion
you promised me.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Aug 2020 · 72
Forgotten Sacrifice
Amanda Shelton Aug 2020
Taking a walk in tragedy,
I come out of the dark
the clouds gathered behind me
slowly departing from my form
as the light leached from the
depths of me.

I kneel on my knees
praying for this tragedy
to end peacefully.

I have no more tears
for I sacrificed my sadness
along time ago to depression
and pain.

America has become a prison
as death walks amongst us
freely without punishment.

I once felt sorry for the world
but I became wiser and you
are to blame not me.

The walls are built,
the damage has been done,
these structures we’ve
constructed with our faith
breaks in my hands as I
embarrassed its destruction.

You think the devil lives
in your dreams?

When he’s been walking amongst
us for centuries, burning bridges
and teasing you with riches.

Leaving you poorly misunderstood,
you seek redemption for your sins,
yet you still walk amongst
the shadows.

God knows all, you can’t hide
from his light, for its
revealing the truth.

The vail is lifted and your ghost
ventures forth upon broken wings.

Such things are only possible
in your dreams.

God already sacrificed
his life for your sins
have you forgotten?

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Amanda Shelton Jul 2020
I leaped free from my tapestry
so I can show you the colors
of my thread.

Life is like a thread
it slowly creates a colorful
tapestry of emotions and
experiences.

A poet saws you a personal
expression with our creative
threads of passion.

I am set free through
the flying threads
I toss over my head
unto these pages
I am formatting.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Jul 2020 · 87
The Devil's Ovation
Amanda Shelton Jul 2020
There’s a daisy for each broken dream I’ve experienced.

There’s not very many but
one is too many.

My pain burns from the depths
of my soul, I shed a tear for every wound I bare.

These river banks are a reminder
of the love we made.

Amongst the flowing water
we are the ripples we make,
every step we made was another
bough to break.

As the sunset upon our lovers
bed, a shadow slowly crept
to devour the covers.

We never had a chance,
the devil took his stance.

He played his violin with great ovation for his audience.

You decided to dance.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Jul 2020 · 60
Love Story
Amanda Shelton Jul 2020
Bobbing in the memory of you,
I floated on cloud nine.

In the depths of darkness
I lost you to its craziness.

You fell for the stars
as they caught your eye
taking you far away from
where we started.

The journey is chaotic
and fast with its blazing
blasts of heated violence.

Love was tired of running from your addictions and crashes.

You broke the shores as you
crashed into its sands bringing
broken glass cutting my heart
deeply leaving scars in my past.

Once we were happy but now
there’s nothing but sadness
reminders of the love story
you promised.

But I am okay its soon to pass.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Jul 2020 · 135
My Sad Ocean Eyes
Amanda Shelton Jul 2020
Should you be sad for
my ocean eyes?

Love bleeds from my broken heart, felling my dreams with drowning sorrows of past experiences of lovely
blues and greens.

The waves are a reminder of
the broken dreams we suffered
together, as our love crashed
into the shore.

I regret nothing but waiting
for so long to walk away
from these bruised memories
of who you are.

I make new dreams healing from
the wounds I’ve dressed with
my armored lives I grew with
weeds and broken hearts,
I keep them tightly sealed
within my caged self.

Yet, I let my sorrows fly free
like a bird crying for the sky.

Should you be sad for
my ocean eyes?

Love crashed ashore breaking
the tides with its chaotic lies.

Love came upon a whispering wind, touched the depths of
who I am, and kissed my soul leaving me with ocean eyes.

I am weeping under the trees
of broken dreams where my
lost lovers crimes are barried
deep within the earth, there
in the hollow girth I placed
a stone in memory of you.

With deep sorrow I say goodbye
to my pain and suffering.

Such dreams are to come
when I close my ocean eyes.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
In memory of my sorrow and broken heart. Peace is in my life. I feel free. I let go of my love for he is a broken soul I can't fix. I am okay with that.
Jul 2020 · 69
Love Left Me
Amanda Shelton Jul 2020
Every morning I wake in pain
but some place in the depths
of time your memory eased
the strain.

Our lives together faded
with the passing rain,
you became the gray clouds
over the oceans that downs
the love we once had.

Your betrayal broke the dream
we were supposed to be free
as two birds flying high
above the sea breeze.

You lost yourself while
I found myself, you never
noticed I was always waiting
for you to come to the surface.

I held my breath,
when you should
have been holding
my hand instead.

You left me adrift upon
your endless seas of
blues and greens, there
I found the truth the deeper
parts of me , I learned to love myself and accept everything.

Beyond the surface of the dream
I once was adrift amongst the
dead seas you cursed with your
endless push.

Love left me to drown in
its depths of darkness and
chaotic waves.

Love left me abused and
in pain, without remorse
or apology.

I was forced to accept it.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Jul 2020 · 96
Madness
Amanda Shelton Jul 2020
You rise upon the sun,
you liquidate your life,
you poor blood and sweat
into strife.

Madness became my friend,
he sat for awhile, he strummed
my heart, played brother
and stole my future vision,
with such disrespect and passion.

The scars I bear the pain
I wear, its maddening,
it shakes the realms
of what you thought
was reality.

It dilutes your views,
and kills your passion
with depression and anger
burning deeply within
your eyes.

Madness came to settle
for awhile, plans delayed
and depression is on its way.

I choose to open the door
and let the light in, don’t
invite depression.

Liquidate the madness,
burn it down with strength
and togetherness.

The Lord be my will and grace,
he’s the king of this place.

Mercy be, and mercy by the hand
of God he strikes ones with a mighty blow, as madness fell into
the hole, bearing my grief with
heavy stone.

Be merciful my LORD!

I bow on hands and knees
please release me from
this depleting life,
I bear my strife openly.

I gave you my life,
not as baggage but
for survival, prosperity,
for my future and stronger foundations to uphold my
broken ideas and fix my
bruised life.

This was my struggle, my past
madness and my diluted plains
of existence.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
Next page