Here I am dancing with myself in the shadows, my future seems so shallow.

I settled down in a muddy spot,
now I'm stuck wiggling and
struggling upside down.

Sinking quick, depression grabbed
me from the paradise I built.

Meditation and coping skills are
no longer my savior, it's stabbing me
scratching and beating in my chest.

My heart wants to be set free again,
my mind is fighting against the beat.

Depression was never my friend,
it brings anxiety and panic attacks,
unwanted mimicry of heart attacks
and painful breath taking beats,
from behind my back it creeps
it's trying to strangle me.

Here I am dancing with myself in
the shadows, my future seems so
shallow.

I feel like a puppet to anxiety,
I'm on the shallow path of
depression it's full of holes and
mountains with thorns and
sharp rocks that cut my feet.

The shores of relief seem so far
away, the ocean of feelings keep
towing me under.

©️ 2022 By Amanda Shelton

Depression,
I caught you swimming in my sorrow, you were drowning in
my tears.

There in my mind I laid down
my life but you stole my heart instead and I lost my mind amongst the shadows.

In the battle of my chemical imbalance I fight for my right to be happy again.

I am dancing in the dark
with myself, my heart beats
in the shadows as my breath
stands to the side, whispering
to me keep dancing.

Exhausted and frade sorrow
follows me, my flaws abuse me,
my mistakes scared me.

Society forgot about me,
I faded into the pitch of nothing.

A void of me, frightening memories
of taunting accusations from a
devilish monster.

Those eyes of blue devoured
my hopes and dreams,
he had no love for me.

His teeth bit into me,
his harsh lashing of accusations
embodied hate and broken ideas,
from the narcissist who said
he loved me.

The narcissist invaded my dreams,
with grinding bones from the
skeleton's he stored in his closet
of screams.

Scratching my brain with his
narcissistic rants and shoveling
wants trying to steal what
I achieved for himself.

The narcissist knows nothing of
love and passionate embraces.

For the narcissist only
knows how to break things.

A narcissist gaslights until crazy
devours everything.

©️ 2022 By Amanda Shelton

Sorrow has come to visit me,
once it was like a sparrow flown
the nest but it came back on the morrow to pleck my heartstrings
with a reminder of it's passed heartache and distress.

My scar's are raw because you never allowed me to heal.

Love stabbed me in the back
my heart turned red and blue
while the black faded to gray,
in memory of you.

Upon the Ocean eyes of you
I slowly drowned while you
stole the boat and watched me
become pools of tears going under
tow for you.

My heart use to dance gaily and free, now it's caged in sorrow
and fear.

I'm lost in depression, in a sea of
abusive memories.

You left your wounds on my life,
deep and painful I am learning
how to breathe again.

©️ 2022 By Amanda Shelton

Oops I stepped on a crack
now I'm breaking my back.

Now, I'm locked inside the cage
of societies shame.

The voices use to speak to me,
don't be worried about me the
pills go down so easily.

Chemicals dance inside my head,
tipping me over the edge.

Dancing cells on high wires, sparks
fly as my heart beats like a rollercoaster on fire.

Tips me over into reality for a moment.

But the chemicals tie me to the tracks, the trains coming to crazy town. Oh, I forgot my ticket.

Here's the train I'm on my way.

I use to be a chemical imbalance
now I'm just a pile of painful bones.

©️ 2022 By Amanda Shelton

You are walking on the road of life,
the sun begins to fade behind the shades of the moon.

They lurk in the dark, the monsters
smile grimly, behind your sleeping eyes lives your nightmares.

Dancing in the dark with skeleton's,
as their clothes watch in jealousy.

The closet door flys open with
a scream a shadow grabs you and
pulls you in.

Good morning.

©️ 2022 By Amanda Shelton

Shameful liars can't look truth in the eyes for the truth burns their lying eyes with guilt.

A liar avoids eye contact because
they are afraid people can see their lies and eyes reflect the truth.

A shameless liar stairs truth in the eyes because they don't care if it burns.

They see with vampire eyes, a soul sucker, a narcissistic liar, a prideful monster, a heartless moocher brings fly's to the table.

©️ 2022 By Amanda Shelton

If I were of a billion stars falling where you are would you catch me before I hit the earth?

If I were your last breath would you kiss me and ******* to the wind?

If I were a wind blown leaf would you mourn my passing or remember my beauty in life waving above your window in the soft morning light?

If I were a passing craze trending for a day would you post an article to show your praise?

If I were the moon would you mind if I bowed and stood aside for the sunshine to glitter in you're eyes?

If I were a shadow would you speak to me as though I am your friend or walk by like I am nothing special?

If I were a poem would you read me like a book or move on to the next page?

If I were...?

©️ 2022 By Amanda Shelton