Amanda Shelton

Amanda Shelton Jul 2020

Bobbing in the memory of you,
I floated on cloud nine.

In the depths of darkness
I lost you to its craziness.

You fell for the stars
as they caught your eye
taking you far away from
where we started.

The journey is chaotic
and fast with its blazing
blasts of heated violence.

Love was tired of running from your addictions and crashes.

You broke the shores as you
crashed into its sands bringing
broken glass cutting my heart
deeply leaving scars in my past.

Once we were happy but now
there’s nothing but sadness
reminders of the love story
you promised.

But I am okay its soon to pass.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton

Amanda Shelton Jul 2020

My Sad Ocean Eyes

Should you be sad for
my ocean eyes?

Love bleeds from my broken heart, felling my dreams with drowning sorrows of past experiences of lovely
blues and greens.

The waves are a reminder of
the broken dreams we suffered
together, as our love crashed
into the shore.

I regret nothing but waiting
for so long to walk away
from these bruised memories
of who you are.

I make new dreams healing from
the wounds I’ve dressed with
my armored lives I grew with
weeds and broken hearts,
I keep them tightly sealed
within my caged self.

Yet, I let my sorrows fly free
like a bird crying for the sky.

Should you be sad for
my ocean eyes?

Love crashed ashore breaking
the tides with its chaotic lies.

Love came upon a whispering wind, touched the depths of
who I am, and kissed my soul leaving me with ocean eyes.

I am weeping under the trees
of broken dreams where my
lost lovers crimes are barried
deep within the earth, there
in the hollow girth I placed
a stone in memory of you.

With deep sorrow I say goodbye
to my pain and suffering.

Such dreams are to come
when I close my ocean eyes.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton

In memory of my sorrow and broken heart. Peace is in my life. I feel free. I let go of my love for he is a broken soul I can't fix. I am okay with that.

Amanda Shelton Jul 2020

Love Left Me

Every morning I wake in pain
but some place in the depths
of time your memory eased
the strain.

Our lives together faded
with the passing rain,
you became the gray clouds
over the oceans that downs
the love we once had.

Your betrayal broke the dream
we were supposed to be free
as two birds flying high
above the sea breeze.

You lost yourself while
I found myself, you never
noticed I was always waiting
for you to come to the surface.

I held my breath,
when you should
have been holding
my hand instead.

You left me adrift upon
your endless seas of
blues and greens, there
I found the truth the deeper
parts of me , I learned to love myself and accept everything.

Beyond the surface of the dream
I once was adrift amongst the
dead seas you cursed with your
endless push.

Love left me to drown in
its depths of darkness and
chaotic waves.

Love left me abused and
in pain, without remorse
or apology.

I was forced to accept it.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton

Amanda Shelton Jul 2020

Madness

You rise upon the sun,
you liquidate your life,
you poor blood and sweat
into strife.

Madness became my friend,
he sat for awhile, he strummed
my heart, played brother
and stole my future vision,
with such disrespect and passion.

The scars I bear the pain
I wear, its maddening,
it shakes the realms
of what you thought
was reality.

It dilutes your views,
and kills your passion
with depression and anger
burning deeply within
your eyes.

Madness came to settle
for awhile, plans delayed
and depression is on its way.

I choose to open the door
and let the light in, don’t
invite depression.

Liquidate the madness,
burn it down with strength
and togetherness.

The Lord be my will and grace,
he’s the king of this place.

Mercy be, and mercy by the hand
of God he strikes ones with a mighty blow, as madness fell into
the hole, bearing my grief with
heavy stone.

Be merciful my LORD!

I bow on hands and knees
please release me from
this depleting life,
I bear my strife openly.

I gave you my life,
not as baggage but
for survival, prosperity,
for my future and stronger foundations to uphold my
broken ideas and fix my
bruised life.

This was my struggle, my past
madness and my diluted plains
of existence.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton

Amanda Shelton Jul 2020

Barely Survived- My Struggles With Mental Health

I dove off the side of the boat,
slowly drowned in the blues and greens of the ocean waves but
happily and with madness holding
me up to the surface.

Striving to swim to shore,
the sands of time grinds at my bones, scraping at my mind like monsters clawing under the bed.

Reality shook, it shakes me
to the bone, brittle skin
its furry burns deep within.

I barely made it out alive,
many a time I’ve been betrayed
barried by strife and I bleed
from its sharp knife, I wear the wounds, as it stabs and
swiped at my life.

The monstrous madness grew into
the darkest moments, reaching for my weekend mind as a shadowed monster devouring the light.

It broke my heart and
stole happiness.

I fought for release,
I fought with faith,
I fought for freedom
to find contentment
within my life.

I grew, I grew out of my strife.

I found the future is always
beside me, like an old friend
guiding me.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton

I was born with mental health issues but I am a testament for the survival of mental illness. I was suicidal and wanted to be released from the struggles I suffered from. I am lucky I was stronger and I love people more than I wanted to die. I used my passion for expression and my love for you to fight to show you you are strong enough to survive this world just like I do. I want to see you prosper so I have to fight this to show you. We are all capable of being awesome and strong. I know from experience. I have climbed mountains and walked through the fire for you. I bare my scars proudly and loud so you can hear and see what power we have over our lives. Together we are strong. Be proud to be you. I love you. All of you give me a reason to live and God gave me freedom and knowledge to survive.

Amanda Shelton Jun 2020

My Poetic Blues & Greens

I slowly became rooted within
the fiber’s of my chair, it
supports my life of pain
and grind.

With its needless blues and greens rushing through my veins.

The blues are sadness,
the greens are my favorite
things I miss the most.

I once had a dream now
I am lost amongst the clouds
and the fiber’s of my life.

I once was a shy girl,
I grew into a poetic format
that is rooted in my life like
the chair is rooted in my strife.

My blues are easy to express,
it flows with a slight pressure
a push and shove. Once I open
the gate it floods the page with
my tears and faith.

With my broken heart I fell apart
but poetry keeps it hanging on
by a thread. My love bleeds out…

Love gave me doubt and a reason
to run out. I became its broken jar
full of bruises and tears.
Don’t forget the poetic formats
that bleed from my roots and drowned me in tears.

You became a scar upon my heart.
The scars are inspiration burning
hot and it grows wild deep inside
its depths. Now its rushing,
gushing out.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton

Amanda Shelton Jun 2020

Poetic Expression

You know your a poet when your spitting out poetry and you trip over the words but it still makes sense.

The format keeps flowing, floating in your mind like a leaf on the breeze. It landed upon this page.

Mouthful of grunge and ***** blues leaving my jeans stained with regret, I didn’t express myself sooner than I expected.

Now I am mowing the lawn with over the top wordplay, spitting my poetic fire like a rapper losing volume quite but still slick from losing my grip. I catch myself quick.

Twisted rhythm with grinding rhymes and flooding banks of expression. I never leave without passion, I burn like a wick my candle is hot and half melted. Its wickedness lashing out from the blazing words I am expressing.

Call me a poetic fool but I am not joking, my passion burns holes through the internet disconnected from myself, just so I can express myself.

I think like a flower, my passion withers away if I don’t keep expressing in poetic ways.

I hold a lot of power in my words. Words are mightier than a sword. But only if you keep writing…

Express yourself just keep writing.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton