Rolling rolling rolling,
my thoughts are pondering.

The processing is thunderous,
static and loud as the caffeine
migrates through my body.

Calming down slowly, slowly, slowly, grinding down to sleep as the caffeine migrates
through my body.

Caffeine! It grinds my gears
for a moment and slowly calms
me down so I can sleep.

Gives me purpose to move around to build things, and think faster than usual.

It can help me sleep at night,
as long as I use it right.

I make time for grinding down,
before I go to bed sometimes
caffeine is the pillow on my bed
and a monk when I meditate.

Caffeine can be my friend.

©️ 2024 By Amanda Shelton

I was a fool, always searching
for the one but none were
as blind as me.

Amongst the roses are the
thorns, and the weeds lay
beneath they like to choke
everything.

I was a fool, for love hit me,
tripped me and played my
heartstrings like a fiddle.

Foolish me, always searching
for the one but none were
as blind as me.

I once laid beneath the roses
as the bush slowly wrapped
itself around my heart stabbed
me deep in the back with its
thorns, as I hydrated it's roots
with my blood it drank my pain
and stole my gain.

Love fooled me, it was beautiful
in the beginning.

Until it revealed itself,
a rose it was not and
it mistaken-ed me for
a ****.

A fool I was, always searching
for the one but none were as
foolish as me, love blinded me
with its promises and false
reality.

Loves no dream, its no
magical spell or the greatest
most amazing thing ever.

Love is tragic, painful and
disastrous its painfully
damaging heartbreaking
and it causes scars.

Love is powerful because
its the most beautiful,
confusing disaster
you will ever experience.

Its the scars that define your
strength after a heartbreak,
what bites you can make you
stronger and smarter it can
teach you how to find true love.

We all are fools to love,
the first heartbreak is
the deepest pain and
leaves the biggest scar.

To guard your heart is the most
important thing, don't give it to
just anyone.

Find someone who enjoys life
with you and encourages you
to be your best and holds
your hand when you need
support. Also, remember to be
patient and kind.

Love is attracted to kindness
it finds it beautiful and amazing.

Love is inside of you,
its part of us all.

Love is success and acceptance,
it helps build societies.

A fool in love is a fools lesson.

©️ 2024 By Amanda Shelton

I once stood like a tree,
my roots were free but grounded
at my feet.

My seasons changed, pain falling
like leafs fly from my life.

That like a seed, I bloomed
I grew and I shed my leafs
to release the ghosts
from the old me.

I then flew free, to the wind
I am smoke, a shadow of
my former self remained,
and under my shade
I protect my heart.

I once had a beaten heart,
bleeding on the floor
gasping for air under pressure.

Now I carry scars from
past battles and struggles.

My tree is rooted plotted deeply
and strong.

Life took me deep, it tried
to devour me in its dark
places. But I burned brighter
and hotter, being the beacon
for myself because no one else
can be my light.

My life is so much more than
shadows and scars.

Because God gave me the power
to burn like a star.

©️ 2024 By Amanda Shelton

Who said I was strange?
You saw my shadow instead
of my face.

You expected a cold embrace
but my warmth is like a candle
in the cool breeze it lingers
for awhile with my
Cheshire cat smile.

In the silence I am a loud
whisper, I am a breath on
your neck and a reminder
of your life.

Until the night devours the day,
I am a corpse. In my coffin I lay,
pondering all day.

Lingering like a vampire.

©️ 2024 By Amanda Shelton

Depression can seem like
internal darkness, it shrouds
the mind miss guides thoughts
into its deepest depths of
poverty.

It seems I've been wandering
for two thousand years
or more within my dreams
of vivid thoughts, its choking
me holding me to the ground
with its thorny roots.

I bled for its embrace.

The shadows of the past
follow me, my future ghost
picks at my wounds
reminding me of my
future ruins, as my bones
lay underneath the girth
of dreaming earth, six feet,
my life is a seasonal change
buried beneath pain and
suffering.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

The table is set
the plates and cups
are ready for dishing.

I'll be serving dinner,
karma's the host and
I'm her ghost.

Watch your step and
mind your manners,
karma's a host that
plays no games.

She'll remind you when
you stubbed your toe,
if you forgot your keys
and forgot to add the sugar
to sweeten your tea.
Karma's bitter and sweet.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

We are like poems,
we grew from a plot
and rooted ourselves
hydrating and feeding
our poetic seeds through
internet communities.

Each individual poem is a
unique experience and
it brings us together.

I believe words can cure
a broken heart, bandage
a mental bruise and
an emotional wound.

It can cure sadness for a moment too.

It can be a reminder
of the good and bad.

A way to cope with reality
when our minds get lost
in a dream created by society.

I don't fit your mold,
I don't move with the same
flow as you, I don't walk but
I can talk and write poetry.

Are you a robot or
part of society?

Society has tried to breed
stupidity and incompetent
people, but not everyone
follows the flow.

People like me breaks the mold,
oozes out with creativity and
uniqueness like it's a new fashion trend.

We are change,
we are the lessons you have been needing to break free
from societies views of
who they want you to be.

What others want you to be
doesn't matter in the end,
only you hold the key to your
destiny and future.

You don't have to follow the
line when your future is across
the line. All you have to do is
build your own paths and roads.

My foundation is poetry,
it brings me to my future
and reminds me of my past
so I can move forward and heal.

Poetry is my destiny and future
it brings me to the crossroads of
my life so I can ponder upon
my choices and I don't make
bad decisions.

For me poetry is meditation,
a self discovery.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

I have a needle and thread always ready.

My scars are witnesses to my struggles.

My bruises are sore but healing.

My heart is stronger but bleeding.

My life is calming but
clouded by pain and rain.

My ocean is stormy but
my destination is clear.

My future is always in front
of me, but my plans don't
always follow my rules.

Sometimes I feel like running
but life keeps tugging holding
me to this spot forcing me
to be patient.

So here I am waiting,
darkness is my old friend
and the four walls are my
security.

Until we meet again,
I leave my whispering
poems of thoughts
for you to read and
ponder upon.

I am like a ****, I grow poetry.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

In the end!

After humanity has caught the last fish, after they dug up all that is left, after they cut down the last tree, and drank the last drop of clean water, only then will human beings see the devastation of their activities.

Our tears will not be enough
to hydrate and grow what we
reap and sow.

Only giving and forgiving ourselves will stop this disaster that is humanity.

Our future depends on change,
its hanging in the balance, blowing in the hurricanes and tornadoes, its breaking the earth quaking our souls and shaking our lives to the bottom of its foundation.

Yet silence breaks the cries of
the world, ignorance is a disease, it drinks our tears steals our breath for the popular vote.

There's no freedom after you choke.

Climate change is no joke!

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

That like a seed,
poetry grows for me.

It roots itself deeply
inside my headspace,
without poetry I am empty.

Like a forest ideas thrive
within my poetic mind,
I am always traveling inside
my forest of thoughts picking
weeds and gathering leafs.

When I fall I fall hard,
and poetry follows me
into the darkness of my
life. There it lights a fire
and brightens the darkest
of nights and it guides me
through the trees.

Poetry is like a moon
and I am its orbit. I
laso it and bring it closer
for everyone to admire
its pots and beautiful blooms.

It's a lingering sent, a ghostly
memory of a flame lit centuries
before my birth.

The poetic formats never fade
for they live forever within
the minds of the readers.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

It burst into millions of pieces,
shards flew to the deepest
depths of my life.

What once was my heart
is now ruins, shards of
memories you left behind.

Shattered!

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

Sometimes I feel like
I am living in a square,
I am stuck within a
windowless house.

Sometimes I feel like
I am living in a triangle,
it's getting tight in here
the walls keep disappearing
trapping me inside nothingness.

Sometimes I feel like
I am living in a circle,
it seems internally unfair.

Sometimes I feel like
I am living in outer space,
I keep floating away and
reality comes to rescue me
it brings me back to earth
and my feet touch the ground
reminding me of everything
that is important.

It keeps me here
just for the moment.

This is my shapeless struggle,
it changes.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

When I fall I fall hard but recover fast.

I don't want to run away
from my last panic attack.

I don't want to face pain
like its my last breath.

I don't want to skip one minute
to reach the last.

I want to take my time
as if its my last.

I want to enjoy what I have,
and live for the moment.

I'd rather skip the thought
of death and remember life
as if its my best friend.

I don't want to be a fading star
waiting for my last burst.

All the times I am holding on to
is nothing, for I am never coming back.

I will be a memory and
my actions will be all
that is left.

Don't say goodbye,
and leave forever.

Oh no, I am lighting my candle
and leaving it in my window
so you all can return and
see my flame, its burning
on this page.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

The shadows of my life move along the walls in my mind, always evolving through the
doorways of my dreams.

Move away, move away,
always evolving opening
doors to possibilities.

Did I change?
Did I move?
Did I become the shadow?

The flies always return,
bodies decay and souls leave.
Ghosts.

Move away, move away,
beyond this two dimensional
space of dreaming minds,
they collide locked in a dance
between two hearts tied
together by strings.

Do we ever truly die?

How can we die if our memories
live on?

Move away, move away,
into the dark my shadow sleeps, until the light returns.
Nothing remains but my ghost.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

You made me bring a bag boy,
you were such a drag boy.

You forgot to grow into
a man boy, you hit 30
and you passed go awhile ago
but you didn’t collect the $200
before you stole my heart boy,
now your broke and
I am beating bleeding
on the floor boy.

You made me bring a bag boy,
you broke my back all for
a drag boy.

You’re no man, you’re a drag
in a bag boy.

The smudges you left behind are
following my shadow like
a drag boy.

Now I am fighting your ghost.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

On a falling leaf comes seasonal change, in the forest that grows in my imagination lives creativity. Here sadness inspires growth.

A stroke in time is a drop of
paint slowly dripping down the
canvas in my mind.

Memories breathe upon the shimmer of paint, my mind soaks up the details like a sponge as my hands bare the grind and process.

I can write what I paint, I can
paint what I write. No paint drop is forbidden and no poem is forgotten.

I have a river of ideas flowing free from my mind, I am a dreamer with a pencil in one hand and ideas in the other.

Sad me drifts on the Sea of dreams, as ideas fall like leaf's landing on the black mirror Sea, reflecting my thoughts as twinkling stars the shimmer underneath my boat is magical.

In a moment of vivid clarity
my reflection bursts into billions
of ideas, shooting across the endless sky like stars.

I woke.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

I bury my poetry deep within this digital ground where it will grow and be available for reading. May my roots be strong and my words grow like weeds and like whispers blowing in the wind it will reach those who read me.

My ideas light fires within your minds. I a poet will linger like smoke upon the words I leave behind me.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

Like pebbles thrown into the water, we cause ripples in the universe that birthed us.

Upon the beach we are amongst other pebbles that have collided with the shore.

We are weathered and blown, scars are visible and wrinkles are experiences eched into our skin.

On a breath and a heartbeat we came naked into this world, and we leave the same but we leave behind our memories and footprints from our human experience.

Bones and hair are laying below the stones.

We live, grow, and die.

Fair will, until the end.

We will meet again at the gates of the heavenly saints. Amen...

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

I was born in a painful
suit of arms.

I built my own weapons,
by using my ability to
write and draw to share
my struggles.

With a pencil in one hand
and strife in the other,
I fight, I write, I draw.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

This is inspired by an odd
lucid dream I had.

I woke standing in a boat
floating on a dark ocean
of reflecting stars.

Both top and bottom
of my mind was sprinkled
with stars.

I could see my beating heart
in the black waters as I gazed
upon the surface.

It was bleeding and stitches
were coming loose from
the side of my heart.

I reached out to grab it
so I could fix the stitches.

As I was fixing it
I realized I was dreaming
and I started to wake.

As I woke I could hear
the beating of my heart
slowly fade.

Boom, boom, boom!
Good morning.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

All possibilities are slowly waning, time begins fading, dreams collide with fallen memories.

My dreams are fighting reality,
like a ghost it passes by as I
keep walking watching myself
standing on the side.

Like smoke I see myself standing on the side,
I watch but I keep walking.

Life doesn’t stop, it keeps going
like smoke we all become memories to the possibilities.

I keep watching as my ghost keeps waning, am I dreaming?

Fading memories sink to
the bottom of the lake
where dreams come to die,
and life burns on the surface.

Mirrored dreams are like stars reflecting on the oceans dark nights when nothing but
sparkling memories shine upon my dreaming mind.

I am floating deeper into
the tapestry of my open heart
as its threads begin to unravel.

Waning memories come here to
dream, for I am a dreamer
and a weaver of possibilities.

Dream on weaver, your threads
are unraveling releasing
the possibilities.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

Upon a passing phrase,
my life is like a poem it lies
line by line at my feet someday
it will bury me deep in the grave.

The moment I took my first
breath of air lifes been following me in the shadows
of possibilities.

My dreams mean nothing
unless I believe in **** mockery.
My choices are dusty paths
laid down before me as I walk
through the trees of experience,
ghosts of my past selves are
seen with shovels on the sides
of my journey digging for
the future.

My mind is a whisper of images,
flashing across my minds screen
is a paused memory.

Pain and suffering are
my companions, grief and
wisdom keep reminding me
keep moving.

So slow, so dim, so low,
but oh so lovely here I go...

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

Like a bird I once took flight,
the sky was my line and the
lyrics of my life blew me to
the breeze.

I sang free and loud,
I breathe for poetry.

I sank into the lyrics of my flight, my feathers fell soft and light as I am lifted high words like a latter rising to
the heavens I climb.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

I am a pile of cruchy memories,
a constant season of autumn
with fallen leafs golden and
crisp, shimmering like stars
falling in between the streams
of heavenly light, becoming
mulch for the trees.

I am in the middle of change,
transformation and growing
my wings.

I am like a butterfly.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

Sometimes creativity is
a drowning victim
gasping for breath.

In the end a work of art is created from a life lived
on the edge of life and death.

Paint and ink is my blood
and the canvas is my flesh.

I am aware and capable
of expressing it through
my heart and scars.

I burn for my art and poetry.
It never flickers or dims
as long as I keep bleeding.

For I am a victim
of my creativity.

I lay myself down for my words
to devour my flesh and bones
to feed and hydrate my art and
poetry through my expression.

It's like a forest of dreams
that grows like weeds,
my mind is rooted
piece of artwork,
written and drowning
in paint and ink.

I am of all colors and shades,
I am a book with millions of
pages and saga's waiting to be
red and viewed.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

I rose from the deep,
from the loud boom I
breathed.

I am no longer hungry,
for my dirt has left me
it pushed from my core,
as it burned from the depths
of me.

Boom, boom, goes my heart
as my oceans rise and fall,
my tides are strong and trouble
for your toe.

Row, row the boat down the
rivers lane in between mother
natures legs into the valley
below.

No longer am I hungry
for all I crave is life
and breath.

Give me that sweet
precious air, fell my
lungs deep, as I grow
my roots deep into
the girth of the earth.

Now I meet my brother the moon, he's tangled in
the orbital dance between
two massive black holes
and a star blazing hot.

I am here, expanding beyond
your tiny view.

I am aware! For I see all
in my dreams.

I am... Continuum!

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

Vampire lady turned cowgirl
don't mess with me
I'm coming out of the coffin
in the 20 first century
riding a horse black as night with a deep red cape and
bats flying behind me.

**** I've got blood red neils fangs and boots.

I would send you a box of
flowers before biting you
with a family of bats
to welcome you. 🌹🦇

Don't mess with the ladies.

We've got nails and fangattitude.

©️ 2023 By Amanda D Shelton

Sometimes I feel alone
in a crowded room,
sometimes I feel cowded
when I am alone.

I am always alone in my thoughts,
pictures of the past hanging on
the walls of my mind
movies of my life rolling on
the screen.

Memories, never going back,
the past is behind me.

My shadow is what I leave
in photographs in my mind.
A ghost not yet dead.

Someday I too will be but smoke
in the wind, a photograph within
your mind.

Depression once told me
I am nothing,
I am but a piece of dirt
underneath your feet.

I fought its downing choke,
its pressure to be better than
myself.

I pushed myself into the light
scared and exhausted.

Depression is the heavest
ugliest monster waiting in
the darkest depths to pounce.

It knows your woes,
it becomes your fear,
it bruises your soul and
scars your self esteem.

Rolling in the deep,
towing your failures,
tugging on your heart strings
as it breaks one string at a time,
leaving you in silence
no more music for you
to enjoy.

Depression is the deep void
between nigh and day is nothing,
where I get lost amongst
the forest of my rolling thoughts.

Floods happen often here,
choking my breathable air,
clawing at my soul,
leaving me naked and afraid
deep inside the bowels of depression.

I beg myself, don't leave me here
reaching for my life with outstretched arms. Weak and
crawling on my belly from
the drenches of depression.

Depression taught me
I have only myself.

Depression also taught me,
the dirt is where life grows,
it is planted inside its girth
watered and fed by its growing roots. I chose where I plot my roots.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

If I fall would you catch me?

I once stood on mountains,
swam the depths of the ocean,
ran miles before going home
hiked bike trails and I climbed
Mammoth mountain.

Like a rose, I grew from a seed
slowly blossoming into a bud,
I took awhile before I stretched
my petals, once I did I was a rose
perfumed well and loved by many.

All I need is a smile and poetry,
people seem to like my unique
style and beaming smile.

Though, my heart was broken
I fell to pieces, I was shattered
by a monster who said I love you
and stabbed me in the back.

Now I am climbing new heights,
I am starting over with my life.

If I fall don't worry I can catch myself.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

I a dying rose, I have nothing
but perfumed words.

I a nobody, I have nothing
but poetry.

I a shadow, I have nobody
but myself beside me.

I a lingering sigh, I have but one
chance one life to do my best.

I am living on a breath, a wind that
blew from the west and settled
on your screen through poetry,
line by line I lay down my life.

I am like a seed, not like the rest
rooted in sand I started out half
sunk but grew stronger and
deeper reaching for the rocks
to build a stable foundation.

Here I rise, I shine and
grind the keyboard until
it lags.

Sometimes spell check thinks
I'm British French and Spanish,
once it predicted Romanian
was my first language.
What happened to English?

I'm white but am I really?

If you cut me do I bleed
white or blood? I swear
I am human.

I don't think my keyboard cares
it just sits and stares tries to
predict but fails.

Now I am a poet with broken English
not by choice but by design of
spell check, my skin is really
partly translucent.

Here I bleed poetry and prose spill
from my fingertips like a wizard
blowing smoke like a dragon.

Here you come to witness my strum,
my tugging and pulling brings you
closer into my cave of batty gloom,
that I resurrect from the deepest
parts of my mind.

Mute I am.
I arm myself with deeper meaning
to express myself, otherwise
I am silent and scared over communicate and second
guess myself.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

Oded to vintage,
dirt wrinkles and grime.

Grinding the time,
one second at a time.

Hands up hands down,
ticking running around,
the face of time smiles wide.

Twelve, eleven, ten,
nine, eight let’s do it again.

The only way to turn back time
is to rewind the clock. No redos
just memories.

Tick tock, tick tock, oded to vintage,
dirt wrinkles and grime.

These are my vintage thoughts,
they aged wisely and I’ve been
digging for the time
deeper into the depths
of vintage earth.

Wrapped in lace and bonet,
skirts of mourning black and sad,
tears stain the cloth slowly turns
yellow.

Oded to vintage,
dirt wrinkles and grime.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

He's trying to burn his bridges,
when we can see him starting
the fire. He's in denial but still
lights the fire on camera yet
he doesn't forget to smile.

Burn baby burn!

He's working for the devil
five to nine lighting fires
wasting time.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

I once was a traveler wishing to be free,
but time slipped through my fingers
like sand in an hourglass.

Now my age and suffering has come
to a crossing, in between my strife
and short lived life lies the future
and freedom of my personal possibilities.

I am like a caged bird longing for
the wind to blow between my feathers
so I can be free and fly above
the horizon of my dreams.

Here is where I set fire to your minds
and inspire your imagination,
through my words and expressions
I am free like smoke from a candle
left to burn in the window of my
poetic vision.

Aw, and here lies my beating heart,
below the open window panes
it is beating for you, it waits for you
to read the lines I've designed.

I know I beat to a louder drum
than most, my flame is hotter
than others, but my moment
has always been now.

For I live for the future
and dream of the past.
And so the past is nothing
more than a memory, and
the future is now.

I have hope that my vision will see
beyond this haze and I will leap into
the possibilities that I am searching for,
only then will my mind be as warm as
my heart that burns hotter by the minute.

This is kindling for my flame,
I feed it with my poetic shavings,
from the past I came and into
the future I blaze.

I have left a candle in my
poetic window so all who gaze
upon this page will remember
my name.

Amanda, Amanda where aret thow?
Where have you placed your poetic tongue?
Have you forgotten the vision?
Is there poetic justice?

I'd like to imagine that the crimes
of a doomed poet is nothing more
than ashes and ink smears smudged
across your screen.

I the poet, none has been forsaken
nor forgotten, for my heart will
forever yearn for a garden
to plant my poetic blossoms.

Here I have roots and a personal domain.

My mind is set free through poetry.

No cage can possibly keep
my inspiration from leaping out
and catching your eye.

I am a poet forget me not,
for my words are yours to devour.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

Here I am, sitting on pens and needles
pain is my companion.

I wasn't born a renegade, or a knight
in shining armor but I was born a fighter.

All these years have passed behind me,
I am turning fourty two soon
as I keep walking forward
looking behind me.

My footprints are a reminder
how far I've gone and the farther
I plan to go.

My memories follow into
the shallow waters of my life.

I keep going forward watching the
sun rise and fall, while the moon
peeks for a better view.

Sometimes I dip into the deeper parts
of myself, I tug on the possibilities of
my creativity and I write what I see.

I feel like I am falling but in reality
I am sitting still.

Anxiety is a struggle but here I am free
as I release my stress through poetry.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton