i want to feel your bones splinter
beneath my knuckles,
to feel the skeleton give way beneath my fingertips

i want to sear the flesh
of your skin with my own

i want to sink my teeth
into your shoulder
and your back
and your thighs

i want you to feel the pain i feel
i want you to hurt like me

i want your heart to break into
splinters and fragments,
i want to grind it into dust

so maybe,
just maybe,
you'll get to taste the bitterness you left in my mouth.

but most of all,
above everything,
i don't want any of that.
i don't want to hurt you at all.

you left me sore and aching,
and i don't know if my body
or my heart hurt more.
but i don't want it to stop.
these marks may fade
but you,
you, i'll hold onto.

thank you for the reminder
that my heart belongs
under lock and key

(ps: there's still a spare left under the mat)

i miss you.
it hurts in a way that makes
my bones weak.
it hurts in a way that
makes my knees give out.
it hurts in a way
that leaves me gasping for air.

i'm going to get better.
and when i do,
i'll try to remember you fondly.
because the thing about rock bottom,
is that the only way to go is up.
so while you're drowning at
the bottom of your barrel,
i'll be treading water,
climbing up and out.

i can feel the end whispering in my ear,
but it's better than all the sweet nothings you left me with.