i miss you.
it hurts in a way that makes
my bones weak.
it hurts in a way that
makes my knees give out.
it hurts in a way
that leaves me gasping for air.

i'm going to get better.
and when i do,
i'll try to remember you fondly.
because the thing about rock bottom,
is that the only way to go is up.
so while you're drowning at
the bottom of your barrel,
i'll be treading water,
climbing up and out.

i can feel the end whispering in my ear,
but it's better than all the sweet nothings you left me with.

pardon me
if i say too much,
but frankly
i don't give a ****.

"there is a type of jellyfish that lives forever," you once told me.
and i found myself wishing that we could be those jellyfish,
so we can float on these waves
for the rest of our days
and these spindly legs of ours will always stay intertwined.

you are the sun peeking out from behind the most overcast of skies.

and maybe we're just a big mistake.
one big accident waiting to happen.
but i'm willing to find out.

because we're caught somewhere in this clusterfuck of life choices and misplaced responsibilities,
and it's easy to lose your way.
it's hard to keep your chin up, to keep your eyes on the horizon.
it's easy to lose yourself in the crossfire between
the clarity of honesty and haze of parked cars lit by streetlights,
between hushed confessions and questionable decisions.

but baby, i'd rather be lost with you than know my way alone.

you'll never know, dear, how much i love you.

do you think of me at night? what makes your mind hopelessly drag me to the active levels of your conscious?
have i etched myself into your skin, fingernails clawing at your back, begging for you to let me in?
have i sank my poison beneath your skin, teeth to the flesh of your shoulder?
do you hear me moan in the ringing of your ears?