We parted in a May morning
On a merry walk, my shadow and I
When evil clouds stole him from me
And I came home alone to cry

And a writer of bad deeds on my left
And a writer of good deeds on my right
And over me a black, black cloud
My portable hell, my personal night

The unorthodox are the true prophets
for their ways are those of the future,
so in the now, most kings get their head cut off.

But as death is the greatest prophet,
for it never fails to come true,
their martyrdom proves their ways truer than the footsteps of their fathers,
so in the face of adversities;
never be afraid to be a lonely Jesus on the Cross.

it is the pain when you heart but it pains when i am bleeding too
don't look at me like that as if you are measuring my pain too.
you analyze my scream if it had a touch of cry
oh god you have gone all through this so your eyes are dry.
yes you are judgmental between mercy and truth
you gave what you receive and that is your truth.
i wish i was not searching for love in a heart gone through it
where is that waiting if you have read last page of it.
you can change everything but not your experience
yet i will never forget that face.

You'll love her with all your skin, tongue and lungs.
The way that the air is just so much more crisp whenever she's in proximity to your hands.
It turns the scattered dust in the atmosphere into magnifying glasses
Aimed directly at her
Spotlighting everything you wish you could put into words but can't
Because she's just too ******* unbelievable
That even if you tried, you would offend yourself and the gods with how little it compares to
The love she makes you feel in reality.

You would do everything for her.
Hold her until your bones start to crack
So that she'll understand just what you mean
When you tell her that you'll never let her go.
But she still doesn't get it.
She'll never understand that when you tell her that you want nothing more
Than to let your dust be her dust, her words to be in your cheeks
Her nose to be your daughters nose
You mean that you want nothing more than to keep her forever.

But you never will.
Because you never stood a chance.
You thought that by giving your whole self over to her she would offer you the same respect.
That's not how this world works.
It never was.
These valiant efforts of yours are now dubbed selfish and inconsiderate by others
For not taking her feelings into account.
Because she doesn't know what true love is.
She never felt the need to have you near.
For her daughters smile to be your smile.
For your hands to cradle her head when she's sad.
To let you talk for hours without listening to a single ******* word you're saying,
Because she's lost in the sound of your voice.

Because she doesn't know how to accept anything she isn't willing to give.

We were moths racing towards light bulbs-
reaching out every time it got too dark where we were floating.

We were lost masochists
who spent too much time together before learning
that some of our impulses might be better off left
in silent worries, and drunken stupors, and reoccurring dreams.

The pits of our stomachs
and the holes in our hearts
started feeling too empty
so we tried to fill up
by swallowing each other’s
carbon dioxide.

I lay my soul upon a pillow
And it closes its weighty eyes.
It rests freely like a willow,
No longer weary of my cries.

Serenity closes the shades,
So my soul can rest a bit longer.
Stress trails off as it fades
And my sweet soul grew stronger.

Copyright 2011