XI**

Please excuse my
lack of vivacity
recently
and the fact that I’ve missed every
ocean-side view
so far.
I know I sleep only
sparingly
and at night my eyes are always
watching
keeping my girl safe.
I know I’ve missed many
top-deck galas
and the Sunday morning service
but I pray bedside instead.
How could I not heed
a premonition like this
(that we will, soon coming,
be strung on a deathly line)?
How could I so endanger my
child?
Her father-
oh, what a brainless man-
insists that she see all the
grandeur.

Darling, did you regret
strolling by daylight
when your daughter and I
watched you die?

X**

A clear night wraps us in a
trance
and my eyelids flicker slowly with sleep.
To pass the time we count stars
as if they weren’t an endless void.

One, two, three…

Our chests heave in unison
with fatally sharp air
And I think of how pleased
Helen will be
When I am in her arms once more

Thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine…

Joseph boasts of when we reach America’s
shores
He’ll kiss every girl in the street-
Maybe he will settle down someday.
I give him ten years.

Seventy-one, seventy-two, seventy-three…

I am the first to notice
a dark, looming shape—
Dead ahead, Joe! DEAD AHEAD!
He squints into the thrashing waters
And we both cry out in strength
just zapped into our spines alike.

We send the signal, but a
squeezing knot
inside of me
Knows that we are too late.
What if instead of stars
we were counting souls instead?


One, two, three, four…

IX**

I rust.
I, who they called ‘unsinkable’—
--once
Sleep in ghostly slumber.
In my cradle I sense
Bodies breaking down.
They cry with me about
Loss and sacrifice,
sometimes when I forget to feel.

The Grand Staircase is screaming
Every last table and chair are
Kneeling
Baby dolls are weeping-
Do they lust for eternity?

At times I yearn for my lost children
Those that lie yards
From my mast
And those generations descended
Alike
They should walk my bow
Caress my stairwell
Dance in my parlor rooms—
Shake me awake
For you are
One thousand, five hundred
And seventeen
Perished
And I am
One
Not yet dead.

VIII**

When I was small
I dreamed of free-falling—
I would imagine my thick chocolate
Hair
Swirling around me like a parachute
And I, World Class Acrobat
Would land-standing up!-
To be greeted by
Earth-shaking applause.

Yet there were no cheers when I jumped
Headfirst
Off the unsinkable lady’s bow.
Nobody applauded my grand feat
When I came twirling up for air.
If only I had trained
On the trapeze
I might swing away
From these fatal ropes that now
Suffocate me.
If only I had learned
To escape from life-binding chains…
A miraculous act, they’d say!
See how she cheats death…

Of course, I think all this
As I sink into the
Dreamless sea.

VII**

The water starts easily, helplessly
licking my tires with passionate peace
As the current builds I can feel my hubcaps rusting
peeling away all those years of clacking British
pavement
and dogs taking a leak despite scolding
strangers
and children’s bouncy *****
gliding just short of an auto wreck

the icy ocean digs underneath my doors
it cuts my cushioned seats
like cobra teeth
Tearing away the midnight kisses
rides to dark places
and the beautiful dusk rainfalls
--If I think a while, in this bubbling
reverie
I can feel the sizzling raindrops
pattering

When the water reaches my wheel I
moan my engine
collapsing inside, wishing I could cry
but any oil would float away
and infest the souls I know will soon
surround me.
It isn’t long before I must hold my breath
and my wheels gently feel a folding of the floor
wood splitting shatters the still air that has
entranced me into my imminent
sleep

nothing, nothing
I all rust
looping bubbles and
twirling like a gumball down the
candy store machine
fallingfallingfallingapart
I explode on an ocean floor
with no hope of returning
even the memories they gave me won’t set me
free

so I only
watch the dust
settle


settle

VI**

No.
These books lie.
These words and these voices and
These photographs
Hoodwink us into thinking
Titanic is really gone.
No.
It was the Olympic, dear
Baby girl Titanic is still out there
Twanging lovely cello notes
And drifting with smooth propellers.
No.
Adrift like a ghost
Is she…
**** those photographs
They feel so untrue, because in my heart
I was there
I am there.
So I am drowned?
I am facedown in the water
Gasping for a breath my
Body cannot take?
I am dead?
NO.
My boy is still alive
I am still holding his hand deep
In the sea
Blue blue ocean
If lovely girl, Titanic, has broken
I am broken too.

V**

I hold my lantern high
Its glow illuminating only feet of water
The others were so confused, for I
I didn’t want to let them die
Forgotten.
The water is like black silk
I dare to brush my hand across the surface
And feeling the ice of the ocean
I fear.
With a sweep my eyes scan the horizon
Up ahead, ship **!
There lay remains of the beauty
We once thought could wall us in
And protect us from the nightmarish world.
Bodies of the dreamers
Lay floating in their pressed white
Life jackets
And I call for anyone
Anyone at all
Who will make my voice worthwhile…
--We waited too long
We waited too **** long
A tear slips down my cheek
And sweat racks my spine
As I wait for
A sound.