"Please, Promise me you won't hurt yourself again"
Such an unfair things to ask
I see why you would
Because you don't understand
You just want me to be okay
But do not make me make a promise
You know I can't keep

Happiness is not something that one should have to strive for.
Happiness is not something you can give in pill form
This "happiness" you feed me,
Is not happiness at all
It's a way for my family to shut me up
and a doctor to make a couple bucks
So I swallow the pill
everyday
It doesn't make me happy
Just takes all feeling away
Take your stupid blue capsules
I no longer want them
I'd rather feel sadness
Then your ****** up version of happiness

Panic sets it
I've eaten today.
Numbers begin adding
Calories, bites, servings
I've eaten today.
My mind begins spinning
Disappointment in myself
A harsh mirror,
and a loving toilet
welcoming me,
telling me it will wash away all the panic
all I have to do
is
purge
so I do.

Deep brown eyes
and dark shades of blue underneath
What's on your mind, my love?
What's keeping you from sleep?
I wish I could hold you all night
And save you from the wars
inside your crowded tortured mind
I wish I could hurt all the ones who have wronged you
And kiss all your wounds
To take all of the pain
and push it aside
leaving you with nothing but happiness,
the loveliest thoughts
and well rested eyes

A bottle of *****
split between two
two aching souls
looking for an escape
The room is spinning
This is where I need to be
No worries
No nothing
Absolute numbness

I constantly have to catch my breath around you.
Weird isn't it?
After all this time,
your beauty is still too much for me
5 years of soaking you in
slowly discovering little corner of your mind
taking in your features
memorizing you.
5 years
and you still put butterflies in my tummy
and stars in my eyes
5 years
and I still have to remind myself to breathe

You are so special
I am so ordinary
How did you find yourself in love with me?
How could I shatter such a beautiful heart?
How many times will it replay in my mind?
I can't do this without you
I will never forgive myself
Please don't leave