You are sugar
Sweet and pure
You are the first snowfall of winter in the dead of night
Alluring and exciting
You are a gust of wind on a hot summer day
Refreshing and relieving
You are every wonderful, and pure thing on this planet
And I,
I am not
I am angry and sinister
I am the wildfire that destroys the forests
I am a tornado leaving cities devastated
Someone like me
Does not deserve the beauty and light you bring.

How many times will I say I'm sorry
Before I change my ways?
I know I am wrong
But I am so quick tempered
So easily pushed
That I snap too quickly
And far too fiercely
You are so gentle
And only mean well
I am so sorry for the pain I cause you.

You and I,
We seem to gravitate
But maybe it's not because we're meant to be
Maybe it's because we're both so angry
Angry at each other
Angry at our families
Angry at our failures
Angry at the world
Both of us, so full of pain.
And maybe that's why we find ourselves together

In a world full of darkness and hate
A mind full of suicide and starvation
A school full of ignorance and stereotypes
A house full of people who people who don't understand
A doctors office full of prescriptions for little blue pills
A world that was all dark for me
Until you came along
You are my ray of light.
*It is still dark, but you make it lighter.

There is nothing as free and passionate as your first time
Nothing as innocent
The nervous giggles
The panicked breathing
Touching someone's body
Just to learn every bump and crater
on the surface of their warm skin
The rush of pain
The desperate moans
Nothing as intimate as your first time.

Please don't look at me
You are the moon.
Beautiful and elegant
You illuminate the dark sky
And bring joy to all
and I,
I am nothing compared to the beauty you bring,
the light you give off.
I do not shed light, but rather darkness
I am not beautiful nor elegant
I am clumsy and inadequate
Please don't look at me
I'm not enough for you.

The scars are fading
the razors gone
but the feelings are back again
they haunt you even in dreams
a sadness you can't escape
if all i think about is cutting,
am i really even recovering?