I want to rest.

I want to be Earth-
my skin, loose soil,
yellow button dandelions
pushing through
the dirt in my chest,
as puddles fill my outstretched hands
while my hair twists into the roots of trees;
and the wind picks up
to scatters pieces of me
side by side
the dandelion seeds.

beneath            one                            effacing       ­        blush
                          simmers         veil ties               liquidly i stare
                                                  fears   pink with praise      lusts withheld       thimble shames
embalm a gift identity
                  daily sunny graves    
                                       dissembled life

with deeper breath akin to fisher netting cast
                     fog caress mneumosyne             lover's misty thigh
                                                           ­                                      traps me willingly  
blinded   i taste ambrosia
                          gazing at between zones                               believing anything again

cliches pyroclastically reborn in celebrants of ash and cynic deaths
            energetic     swim         i stroke   a butterfly        in Love
                                instant tribadists      commit   a joyous toast to joy itself

I bought a sundial
for my garden

It would be perfect, I mused
in the sudden spot
Quaint, archaic – and provide an old-world charm;
a tribute to times past

and so it is there in the corner
but the ****** sundial is useless
for it doesn’t tell me
if it’s AM, or PM
like my digital watch does, like my iPhone does -
can you beat that?
No, trust me - they didn’t make things before
better than what come out of our sweatshops now

I am one of those
who do watches
and people love to watch me -
they watch, but ironically,
they call me Watch Man

Well, for a start, I can eat watches
At a recent show
I ate 4 watches in 6 slow hours -
it was time-consuming

My wrists stretch on the touch of
watch bracelets
and so they made me wear many to see
how many I could wear on each wrist
20 on either wrist is what my stretch could take –
yeah, you could say,
I just had too much time on my hands
Last on show they made me wear a belt of watches
which was a pretty waist of time,
if you know what I mean

Look I’ve applied
to join DC Comics
Me as Watch Man
along with the likes of Iron Man, the Hulk
and Spider Man and such characters nondescript
But I’ve been turned down
Just not your time yet, I’ve been told

Well, so I content myself meantime
as Watch Man at Freak Shows
Doing the Time
before my Big Time
When there are enough time-savvy people
Who can recognise the genius
of those who do watches

when you found me
little was left of my heart
just parts pieced together
bruised and battered
and i thought you were
going to save me
but little by little
you just
chip, chip, chip
until there's barely
anything left
and it would hurt
if i could feel
but i'm empty
and your words
they burn, they sting
in those brief moments
when i can feel anything
it's the pain, the realization
that i'll never be
much of anything

I hope you've found your peace, your laughter
in a place of no pain, the great ever after
here on earth our tears are shed
but i'm proud of the life you led
how you gave me hope, courage to be
all the things the world should see
the battle you fought was hard, struggle every day
and even though i didn't want to let you go away
it hurt me to see you suffer, and be in pain
memories wash over me, soft like rain
you will always be in my heart, now, forever
in heaven all our loved ones will gather together
they will welcome you with open arms, a smile
but sometimes it feels like we only had a little while
i'm grateful i got to say goodbye
and even when i feel like i'm going to cry
i know you've found that place
where the sun always shines on your face
and music is always in the air
someday we'll all be there
i'm so thankful for you, you taught me so many things
you're in heaven now papa, getting your wings

see me in the water, dark and deep
i felt your hands holding me down
why did you want me to drown
what could i possibly do
i was a baby, only two
did you snap, did you break
it was more than you could take
was it really me who was to blame
i remember screaming your name
fighting, crying, finally giving up
you were the source of all my love
there were tears in your eyes
as you tried to ignore my cries
you said, "i'm sorry, baby go to sleep"
but the water was so cold and deep
i got so tired, couldn't fight
started drifting toward the light
& i saw such pretty things
carried away with angel wings
in that moment i was ready to forgive
the mother who wouldn't let me live
there's no pain here
no confusion or fear
even though my final moments were sad
i never thought that you were bad
only broken beyond repair
and when you're sitting in that chair
waiting for death
your final breath
i hope you find peace
something to calm the beast
so maybe you can
forgive yourself