Undeserving
Is how I would describe
Your love for me
And not because I don’t deserve to be loved
And not because I don’t deserve to be loved by you
But because
You love me even in the moments
Where I don’t show appreciation
When I’m rude
Or tired
Or snappy
Or selfish
I’m not always apologetic
I’m blunt
And I don’t always know how to show you
That I truly
Am so
In love with you
You brighten up my life
Bring a smile to my face so easily
I share so much with you
So much of the good
And probably too much of the bad
You are goofy
And fiercely loving
You warm my heart
Like no one else has ever
Done before
Never do I feel safer
Or more loved
Or happier
Than when I’m by your side
So I am sorry for not
Always being the easiest person to love
And thank you for loving me
Anyways.

It seems so easy to lose yourself
In so many different ways
You can lose yourself
In a book
In writing
In a hobby
Or you can lose yourself
To your guilt
To meaningless time *****
To the media
No longer do I want to lose myself
In things that don't fill me
With love
With light
With joy
I want to ignite
To write
To be passionate
Not passive
I do not want to be a passive participant in life
Distracted by the lighting of my phone
So easy to miss out when
You're worrying about everything you might miss out on through a screen

i am finally getting used to
the absence
of
you

I fell in love with you today
I barely even know your name
They say never to fall in love with a poet,
But I'm in love and I know it
Your words immediately capture my soul
For I know your heart is gold
They say actions speak louder than words
But I say that's for the birds.

Can you tell me
if it's time to let go?

I shouldn't have cared
but you weren't there
I searched into the crowd
but you were nowhere to be found
and I even reminded you
I don't even know why I bothered
to believe you would come
because you've never been there before
my bad, I'll remember that ...
next time.

I don't want you (wrapped around my finger).

Life seems to consume very part of me
All of the creativity that used to pour out of me like lava
is now dormant
Always there just beneath the surface
Just waiting to burst out
In a volcanic eruption
Or maybe it’s just that I don’t make time
I let time slip away
I’m hungry for the urge to create again
Where is my muse
How do I wake the burst waiting to come out of me
When I am dragged down
By the monotony of
Every day life.

what is it
that I am even holding onto
anymore?

It's hard to get used to sleeping in new places
At home all of the little noises are familiar
A sweet lullaby to ease me into dreamland
Here, the noises are foreign
They are obtrusive and unwelcoming
And I find myself laying here
Exhausted but unable to rest
Brain scrambled and heart a mess
I know that soon
These noises too will become familiar
But tonight I'm missing home.

Some days I'm on top of the world
and other days
I'm afraid of heights.

If you think
that you know me
you're probably
wrong
I don't
say                              
a lot                
of things.

I am an ocean
Restless, vast, constantly moving
Rarely ever
Settled
Wave after wave
Crashing constantly
Even in my stillness I'm unsettled

So much living within
Beneath the surface
I am bursting with life
Waiting to be explored
Theres much I have yet
To even discover

Danger lies within
Ready to be stirred
Be cautious
My heart, the eye of the storm
Known to leave destruction in its wake

Somehow
You manage to calm the storms within
Storms turn less destructive and give life
To beauty
You awaken in me light and laughter
You are my blue sky, my ray of sunshine
Together we make a beautiful summer day.

Sometimes I become so consumed with life
that I forget to embrace my release
I keep consuming more and more
but forgetting that there needs to be a balance
intake
release
one should not simply be a consumer of the world
but also a producer
in a culture of consumerism
i have forgotten how to
be my own producer
my own director
and most importantly
my own writer.

it's time
to remember the things
that help me to breathe better air
in a life that can be so
suffocating
lived most of my life with asthma
yet i still refuse to remember my inhaler
pretending i can breathe just as well
as the person next to me
but losing breath trying to keep up
i have never been ashamed
of stopping to catch my breath
but i have forgotten recently
to slow down
to take things at a pace that doesn't keep me
gasping for air
taking
small
breathers
in between the



long stretches
but need to take time to actually rest
time to be still and breathe deeply
when life is going at the speed of light
i need to remember
to bring my inhaler.