if every word i said could make you laugh i'd talk forever
the stereotypical lines don't work on your brilliance
your cold
my intellectual rain cloud
bringing me my favorite weather
not without the wet socks of course
it all hurts
the constant sunshine
my pale skin only wants your cumulonimbus touch
tracing my skin
your gentle raindrops
bring me to seattle
our future with no barriers
i rub my own back
replaying the memories in my head
my favorites
your regrets
i try to calm myself down
but only your shush will suppress the tears
only your sheetless bed will defeat the cold
only your presence will crowd the loneliness
i surrender
will i ever hit the bottom of this sad abyss?
can you pull me out?
i know you can
there i go again
answering my own questions
i'm not fixing anything
i'll just keep waiting
i'll just keep failing

I’ve overslept
I’ve smoked too much
My house is unkept
And my body's wrecked
My heart's a mess
And my head is worse
The doctor said
I over think
So I sought a cure
In the form of drink
That didn’t help, so
I turned to men
They let me down
All of them
My daily pills
For various ills
Don’t work so well
I’m starting to believe
That life is hell

Light me up,

and i'll feed these

         corrupt lungs

            with a dead flame.

Do not stand at my grave and weep..
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awake in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star-shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry..
I am not there. I did not die.

just another face in the crowd
just another classmate
we spoke occasionally, commenting on each other's work
Then it happened.

A random visit to my slumbering thoughts
made cloudy confusion blow away with the dark storm
I awoke with a smile on my face
hope wrapped around me
with a misty twinge of impatience for Tuesday rolling through

i'm not ready
i can't be ready
it's too soon...
isn't it?
it doesn't matter, he's not interested anyways

i don't want a rebound
i can't get hurt again

silence swept in behind you
calmly, coolly, quietly
setting things down beside me  

playful jibes,
attentive conversations,
shy glances,
soft smiles,
ending with long walks in the darkening sky bright with city lights

heart pounding in my breast,
breath slipping past my lips in bursts,
butterflies fluttering in my stomach

things I had not felt for a long time
rose to the front of my mind
blooming in my heart
stirring with every class spent together

The fairytale I longed for may not exist,
but you may be the man to help me find something *better

don't undress my love
you might find a mannequin:
don't undress the mannequin
you might find
my love.
she's long ago
forgotten me.
she's trying on a new
hat
and looks more the
coquette
than ever.

she is a
child
and a mannequin
and death.
I can't hate
that.
she didn't do
anything
unusual.
I only wanted her
to.

A cigarette drips,
Between fingers and lip.
As the dark of December,

Hangs.

Don't write me a song
I know you hope that
This will last long
But I told you
From the start, I did,
That I wasn't looking for anything
But another friend

A pencil dive, when you're half way down into the cool deep,
finally realizing how bad you need air.
Then it becomes a struggle, a battle of  pushes and pulls.
It would be some much easier to give up but as your lungs shriek
in despair you know its the last thing you can do.  
So you get over the five seconds of struggle and
you make it back to civilization again.  
You continue this somewhat insane pattern of
deprivation and struggle just to remind yourself
how much you love the taste of air