I find myself thinking about you all the time
Why can't I stop?
When I'm listening to are songs
When I'm sitting down watching tv
Your in my thoughts
But you've been gone for so long
Why can't I shake you?
Why can't you be like any old ex I've grown to forget
Maybe because I gave you so much of me I can't have back
God I want you
I want every little piece of your ******* up head
I just want to hold you again
Forever like you promised

What is love?
I think I know what love is
I felt it for a boy
A cold hearted boy
Who didn't know what love was
How does one know their in love?
Does it come to them when their holding them?
Does it come when their fighting and holding back tears?
If love is such a powerful and beaufuil thing
How can you lie about love
"I love you"
People make such a big deal about those 3 little words
That sentence of lies
I know what love is
Cause I felt it
For a cold hearted boy
Who didn't know what love was

As I lay to sleep
I wake up to the thought of him
Why must I think about him before every dream
And wake up to the thought of he's smile
He's not even mine anymore
Was he ever mine?
Laying awake at 338Am I should be thinking about important things
School, work new love the future
But no
It's always about you
Funny thing is
I know at 339 am
You aren't dreaming or thinking
About little old me

Funny how people can be so fake
You learn to know the fake side of someone
And they make you believe their lies
Cold hearted lies
How can you live with yourself?
You are the worst kind of human
Disgusting
Ugly on the inside
Funny how I was a part of all it
How I never made you feel so worthless like you did with me
But I guess you and me are very two different kind of people

Thinking back to the day when you were mine
How everything was perfect
Everything felt right
When I felt sad I knew just the sound of your voice would make everything quite perfect
I felt safe again
Loved again
Thinking back to the day I first saw you
Oh my was that a wonderful hour
Never thought that only 60 minutes could make me feel such love for another human being
Never thought I could care that much
Thinking back to when we spend all day together
I gave you something I can never take back that cold day in may
Funny how I remember all are dates
26, 19 and 11.
All those numbers play back inside my head leaving me cold and numb to the thought
Thinking back to the night you spelt over
Amazing I thought
Even though you weren't really mine
Just a boy I was madly in love with
Still am
You talked to much
And I kinda liked that
I kinda liked playing with your hair
Watching you play candy crush for a hour
Sleeping on your chest
Oh I loved that
More then your blue eyes
I've grown to love
Thinking back to when you left me
I told you I loved you and you didn't say it back as you drove away
Thinking back to me siting there asking myself
"Why can't he love me like I love him?"
thinking about every little thing you did and every conversation we had and every little lie you told that made me feel special.
Thinking about how I'm alone
Sad
Hurt
Every word that comes to mind
Heart broken
I'm heart broken
And I can't find the pieces to be whole again.

Being with him was like the first day of summer. The sun stays out longer. It's getting hot and you wake up just to go outside and feel that hot sun on your skin. Everything is bright. Kids are off from school screaming and running around playing and just having fun. He was like summer.

Loving him was like fall. The leaves start to change and everything becomes beautiful. Not cold and not hot. Just perfect. Perfect time to sit outside drink hot chocolate and just talk as the pink and blue sky starts to fall into night. I could sit out there forever. He was like fall.

Losing him was like winter. It starts getting dark early and it starts getting cold. No one wants to go outside anymore. Kids aren't outside screaming in laughter. No one wants to go out in the cold and get sick from the brisk dark air. The sun doesn't shine as much. All you want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep. Not move. Wanting that summer and fall feeling again. He was like winter. Losing him was like winter.

Loving him was like finding a new book
Not knowing what it's about or even if your going to like it
But you open that first page and fall in love with the words
Needing to read more and more
Picturing what your reading
But then you come to those last pages
Ending of the book the book you fell hopelessly in love with
Finishing the book you don't know what to do after all the hope and all the feelings you had for those characters are gone.
Are just a memory in your mind
That you have to play over and over again
To fell like it was real again
Leaves you empty and broken
until you find that next book.
Leaving a new mystery for you to slove.