you said,
"I feel very
observed"

perhaps because
you're an unsolvable mystery
a dazzling wonder to behold

I can't help but analyze
every angle
every clue

you're captivating

just please don't scurry away
from the eye of my scrutiny

I find myself
reflexively
looking for reasons
to evade situations that might cause pain

I'm always alert,
stockpiling excuses
like armor
for a rainy day

I guess those old lessons
have seeped into my bones

I want to yell into my marrow
"you don't need those anymore!"

when I showed you a part of me
that wasn't too pretty

you said,
"I look forward to my future"

and you meant it

you, with an easy smile
lounging back on my white pillows
hair tousled
a laugh in your eyes

sometimes when
it's just the two of us

lazing about
tangled up

basking in the warmth
of each other's touch

it feels like we enter
another dimension

where time suspends
and gravity lifts

it's a little addicting,
isn't it?

I find myself often wondering
how did you come to be?

you are simply
miraculous

it's hard to fathom
how a person
who feels like an unshakeable part of your world

like the ground under your feet
or the sun in the sky

can become nothing but a ghost