It's that overbearing feeling where you just can't let go.
It takes over your whole mind and you stop breathing.
Why are you letting yourself do this?
You still love him don't you?
Don't wait around for him to come back and get you.
You, yourself are the only powerful force in this relationship.
Keep that time in your mind. Even if it is long.
In the end it'll be worth it.

You know what I never understood,
Still don't,
And never will?

Why do we try harder on the things we're bad at?
In the end we'll be better...
But imagine everyone trying hard in everything we're actually good at.
We'd all be better.

Okay is less than great

Do we want a world of okay people or great people?




But it's not up to me...
So whatever

I have to tell my heart that I am worth living for
I argue with my legs that I am worth supporting
I promise them that one day I'll take them to new places
I tell my hand that I’m worth holding
But sometimes, I tell myself to let it go
Because I really don’t have reasons for any of them
All I have is hope
That they don’t leave me in my own shadow
My shadow only sticks around because Peter Pan stitched it to my feet
I don’t blame it… I would leave me too
That’s why I don’t blame the people who choose to not stick around
They choose another person's life to live in
I like going to movies by myself
I would rather read a book than write my own
I know that I’m weird and I accept that as "good"
So when others tell me what I already know
I pretend that they’re not saying it with negativity
Like it’s been done typically
I know that I stick out
I wear really bright clothes and I’m obsessed with my shoes
I’ve never listen to them, but I can feel the rhythm of  blues
I feel like Chicago blues get her lyrics straight from my life
I’m still trying to convince myself
That missing myself is worth fixing myself
I don’t have an argument that I’m worth all the effort
But once I stop… There’s no one left
I’ve been on my own for a long time
And my tears don't quench my thirst anymore
My arms are sick of only having me to hold
My chest has swallowed my pride
My mind and my body have left me alone
I would leave me too

Today I remembered the weekend we made cupcakes. Batter dotted our skin, and we kissed it off each others faces.

I remember falling asleep on your basement couch, curled against your beating chest. We watched movies the way a nicotine addict smoked cigarettes. Our relationship a reflection of blue-light on our faces.

I wish we'd been as innocent as the cartoons we watched in my bedroom. Instead we crumbled like corporations in Fight Club. The irony is a bitter taste in the back of my throat.

All for nothing I fell asleep in my hospital bed. Clinging to thoughts of you to send me to dreamland, until the day I found, that I'm much more prone to nightmares.

It was then I realized our love story was a tragedy. That maybe all love stories were.

Pining for someone who I've spoken to only twice.
Do I believe in love at first sight?
Will he feel the same way?
He probably won't remember me.
But that's okay.
Because there's something special,
Or at least I'd like to convince myself that there is...

Searching for what isn't obvious.
Everyone has a story,
That they'd like someone to listen to.
Searching...
Looking...
When I look into their eyes,
Who is really looking back?

I like you.
Or at least I like who I am when I'm with you.
When I look into your eyes,
I'm on a different planet.
I've always liked you...
Even before everyone else did.
I still do...
And I don't know if its worse if you know,
Or worse if you don't.