i just need to hear you say it
maybe because i am the one that is insecure
i used to be able to accept love so much more easily
or maybe my past lovers didn't mean much to me
but you're different
and yet not
i wanted to be different for you
and now i just want to hurt you
to run away and never see you again
to make you wonder what happened to me
maybe i just fell of the edge of the earth
or maybe i was just a dream to begin with
either way i think what we shared was silly
can you really live life like that?
reading poetry to each other every night
as if there's nothing to be done
and what of life. when does it begin or end. don't we have something to do at the end of the day?

i'm going to try to pretend you don't exist. that i'm not hurt by you.
that i feel secure in your love.
is my insecurity something real or my ego
- tripping.
all these mistakes coming back to haunt me
it's misery.
and i am the miserable.

i'm wearing your favorite shirt today
i still don't know why you liked it so much
it doesn't fit the same, it shrunk
or i got bigger
or it just changed, like we did
it's been so long, who can say

but it still makes me think of you
and how sorry i am
i didn't know what you knew
and it's years too late but i'm learning

i'll probably never know that pain
because i just don't trust that way

but you did
and even now, i love you for it

i'm thinking of you today
wearing that shirt you loved

i'm sure there is a picture somewhere
of me and you and that love we shared

i look your love
i had no intention of returning it

stronger if you don't cry
it means you are tough
nothing can hurt you
it's been years, said with pride

that's not something to be proud of!
and isn't it a sin anyway?

never mind.

do you know the punishment for
refusing
to share your hurt?

when you cry, no one notices
when you break, no one cares
when you hurt, it feels small

even to you

then you realize you hid God away
and you just thought you were being strong

i want to go back to you
because it is safe
but i can't bear to look you in the eyes
or your family
or your friends

i didn't mean to hurt you
i just didn't know better

or i knew and i didn't care
so now everyone knows

*everybody knows