i don't know why, but it really hurt me when you said

"telling you things hasn't been going very well for me"

i wanted to be the person you could tell things to.

but i also wanted to be special to you and feel safe and unique in your arms.

i guess i just realized in that moment that i was just another girl.

but i know better. i know you won't find me again. i know i know i know.

if i was as ******* you as i am on myself
i wouldn't be here right now

if i judged you the way i judge myself
i'd be in hell right now

if i let you in
i'm afraid you will let yourself out

if i go
it's safer

if i stay
i'll never know

what does it mean?
when is it lost?
does it belong to me or you?
is it ours or no ones?
why does this affirmation feel so rotten?
will i ever fall in love?
will i ever be complete?
what is it going to take?
who do i really hate?
when does your past take over the present?

i guess i should have asked
what's important to you.

you probably would have lied and said,
what's important to me, i guess.

i guess, because you leave me no choice

did you take that thing and make it yours?
you know you can't pretend you have that!

it's not something you slip on
it has to be given

i'm guessing you didn't know that
i'm guessing you thought you could pretend you were everything i wanted

insecurity
over
what
past

respect
meaning
lost

me
you

i knew