There is something about the skin
of a woman that makes my fingers
want to sandpaper their bones
until they curve like
her waist does.

I want them to bend
around her hipbones,
come out the other side saying
Baby, my knees are so weak
you could carry them away
in your prayers.

And I bet she would.
This girl, she would pray
so hard it would move
straight through her,
every breath is a dance
and she's trying to move
so fast that the world
couldn't even touch her.

I want so badly
to touch her. I wish I could,
if only I could rewrite my story
until I became someone else,
I would find her eyes at the bar,
let her teach me where the cold
comes in so I can fill it
with my lips.

I want to see the way
her God anoints her forehead,
how He shows her the light
in the times she needs it
the most. My God, She tells me
I'll never be able to love you
with the lights left on, and
I think She's right.

My body quakes whenever I
step onto the sidewalk, because
I think they can smell it on me.
I think they can smell her on me,
these trees they whisper
as soon as I turn away,
and I think that means something
about the way I've learned
to make love to this Earth.

These girls, they love so much
differently than a man does,
a man can tell you that you're
beautiful but a man's hormones
have learned to speak for him
in order to get the job done, so
you never know if it was true.

If I could hold a woman, I know
I'd cradle her cheek against
my collarbone, I'd tell her I know
it will be all right, I've done this
before and I know exactly
how it will end.

I don't know how this
will end. I don't know how
I'll manage to keep her a secret
inside of me. There is a dust that waits
in her attic and I know I could climb
until I reach the sky.

At the bend in this river,
I know this course will carry me
to a clearing where she can teach
me how to smile in the sunlight. Where
the breeze will show me that my soul
is not stuck tight as the bonds
they push me into.

As soon as I can laugh
the way she does,
I know
I'll be able
to come
home.

There is a day
away from here
where you'll be safe.

The space of an
afternoon, or the bubble
within a coming dawn.

Stay. For the reason
your hands are cold
when you bring them

out from beneath your
pillow. For the break
between the tracks

the record skipping
over. I am laughing,
it is old and it is new.

It has always been there,
love. These fingers are
constantly stroking

your cheek. Those
rays of sunlight fall
perfectly on your face

every single day, I know
there is a blue sky
beyond every ******* cloud,

a paper airplane in every
rejection letter, stay. I want
to walk with you through

the trees in California.
I want you to tell me
where they came from,

how it hurt when they
were born, tomorrow's longing
whisper can be yesterday's lost time.

I didn't have the time. This
glowing wish inside my chest,
longing for your eyes. I saw

the moment when it missed
me, I watched it as it passed.
You were the rain, love. You

were always falling,
every
single

day.

You are Dark, my Dove and sweet.
Like Eve, you tempt me, and I eat.
Oh! Dark Deliciousness!
Oh! Bittersweet!
Your taste- like heaven!

but I shouldn't cry out
here in Seven-Eleven

Miles and miles of ink black tarmac...

'Faster', I squeal with excitement.
Your eyes light up
Headlights bright in the dark.
A huge satisfied smile stretches across your face,
Cheshire cat grin.

We vault into the night
Destination least of our worries.
Your eyes catch mine for a second,
I relish the thoughts that pass between us, some of them aching to break the skin.
You are mine and I can't think of anything else I could possibly need.

I watch the ice form tiny road maps across the window.
You try and count the months we have left on this earth.
I am warm, though our bodies are not touching.
I reach for your hand
It burns into my palm.

All these roads lead somewhere
Our dismembered beings will never see it all until we're dead
But we can die and make it back alright
And if we died, would we even want to come back inside?
There's something real out there and it'll always be there and all it takes is to pay perfect attention
Chance favors the prepared mind as we can see for ourselves
When we traverse this abyss
Learn to pay attention
Learn to dance with the patterns you perceive
The sonic tapestry is a music piece
It never stops , and it covers everything
Everywhere is always everywhere else
Music never stops
Listen to it beat you away
Is there a difference between me and the music?
I am you, after all, this poem is me
And yet it is you because I'm not the only one
And we'll never be apart until we die, but even then we'll be together, each as nothing
So beautiful, so absurd

Feel that breeze blowing your hair?
You are its breath
It escapes your lungs and you ride around a vibrating
Symbol, your thoughts swimming and crystallizing but never blinding
Swirling around you in coagulating meaning
The grass grows, it is your beard
Lying there in the field
Can you feel it any different?
The grass brought you here to lie down on it
The grass inhales you as you light it,
And fully grokked, your ghost breathes itself out in rings

Snap the rhythm and it ripples with the cymbal
Into love,
The path through remains you, it's full of stars and eternal youth
The gray dawn on the beach is a constant truth
Our dreamtime dreams of being awake

I woke up and thought I could fly
How wrong I was
Spying over the shoulder of God
I told him, "You're a character in my story
I am you,
I am more.
What can you do to me?"
And God looks back, knowing that what I say is true
For I perceive him and even as he marvels me with illusions he can never erase my mind
I don't even capitalize his pronouns

God and his carpenters joined the dancing eternal parade
Like the end of an Animal House knockoff
Where we send off parts of ourselves to new times and places we've never conceived of
Populating the universe
Which gets bigger the more detail we observe
An optical contradiction
For you are the greater resonance of both your
Self and your Opposite

Scribbled in a pre-*** haste
of hormones and awful
music taste,
your name on the back of a receipt
is no way to treat
a one night stand
that you met at the bar;
held hands with in the street;
and subsequently left when
the night became light and neat,
tidied up in a 10am alarm clock
call.

Could’ve waited until
we were both awake,
that way the alcohol would’ve warn off
and we could take this major issue
for what it was-
excitement;
and much anticipation; and placing into
action every lesson learnt from Nick Hornby books,
or pieces of information tucked
deep within our internet bookmark lists.

At least stay until after
Desert Island Discs
next time,
because then buses shall be running
on time, and you won’t have to risk
the public transport roulette table
that spins around this town,
this great noun in the Anglia east.

Now it's the news, and the news
is you've gone.  For a moment
I slipped back into a sleepy cement,
making for rough fingers-
that last night made the ascent
up to warmer climates.

And now back to lonelier nights
and Nick Hornby books,
afternoon wake-up calls
from Mum, back home,
asking how to download
the latest Google Chrome.

If I close my eyes and count to ten
Will you still be there..
..when I open them again?
Will it be the same or is this just a childish game.

If I only count to three
Peep a bit..what will I see?
Perhaps I'll only count to two..will I still see you?

Can you see me when I close my eyes?
Or am I hidden away?
Is this another game to play..?


Do I count to two or three or ten..
..or shall I never close my eyes again?
Maybe I'll just close one and let the other smother me..
..with visions of futility.

A walk along the roads of maths
In numerals I write these paths
And wish that I could see...the numerics of my infancy.

Blinded by this digital stare..
..in my darkness are you there or have you gone?
Will I end by counting one?

If I close my eyes do futures die
Will I be stranded...left high and dry.
With no one within my reach.
If I could count up in my mind..I think I'd find..
..that everything would be okay.
But today I have to count aloud..numbers coat me in a shroud..
..are you still there?
Do you still care for me.
Testing..testing..
One..two..three.