We all want love
In this life
that is so
so so so unpredictable,
this life.

When we get married
I want the sound of waves
and birds and trees
to play as the guests come in

When we get married I want there to be
floating candles
and warm snow
and cool sunlight

When we walk in I want it to look like a miracle
I want everyone to feel our love
I want everything to be completely silent
No clapping, just feeling

I want the sound of the air to erupt
I want everyone to hear nothing but our hearts beating
Beating to the rhythm of a song
A song that was written, just for us.

And as i start writing
I'm no longer afraid of what
Comes out or comes in
As I write about you, love

I can't stop
A river flowing with every ounce of passion
A never-ending, burning fire
Ready to burn, ready to burn

Words
Repeated one after one
Burning deep
Stinging to the core
After years and years of pretending they didn't exist
Now they've found their way into my mind
Yelling
Clawing
Screaming
Echoing
Back and forth in my head
Maybe she was right after all
Maybe I am just a **** up
Nothing
Worth nothing
Doing nothing but damage
To all those around me
They're worth more than that
I am not.
'You deserve it' they say
'You'll never change' they say
It's never ending
Until the end.
Never changing
Until it does.
I need out
I need peace
But when the problem is myself
there's nowhere safe to retreat

Dark cold night air fills my lungs
I press on down this road
I have no clue where it goes
My feet hit the pavement
Freshly wet from the storm
The air feels wondrous as
it brushes my hot face
And dries my wet tears away
How can this be me
I want to forget it all
I want to stay forever gone
And not come back
I feel lost as I grasp for something
Anything to keep me going
I just wish someone could hold my
Hand through it all so I dont have
to be alone through the worst of it
After so much pain and hate
Is it worth the tears and blood
What about the others I've hurt
With my own actions
I run faster and faster
But just then I look back
To see my redemption
They came to save me
From this pain eating at me
I am so far gone now
Is it possible I think
I am Gone and trying to come back
And there they are to save me from myself
I don't need to self medicate
Or slice through my pain and memories
But how can i burden them with my problems
They refuse to let me go
I may be gone but
I look in all of your eyes and
I see so many reasons why
I am trying to come back

I stay up hours on end,
Just thinking.
They ask, about what?
They all ask
How are you?
How was your day?
Expecting the truth.
Yet every day
My response
Is the same.

I'm good, I say.
I'm alright, I say.
Will it ever change?
The ongoing lie?
Will I ever fit the image,
That everyone has of me?
That charming girl with the smiling face?

Darling,
I'm a liar.
I guess I've gotten pretty good.
Will I ever act the way I feel?
I wonder if I ever should.

One time not too long ago
a sunset would avert my eyes.
Its beauty surpassed my idea
of reality canonized.

Soon, I adjusted and could stare,
and read what the world would tell;
but then a light, whose eyes I could not meet,
had intoxicated me like a Lenaea's spell.

Then the earth quivered as I fell,
awaking hours later and alone no longer.
The light-- superior than a mundane description--
was the warmth by whom my soul was conquered.

I run a dotted line around this block,
traces of me are everywhere though they
are hidden under the footsteps of 100 feet
stamping my poor identity in to the ground.

C'mon, You know me.
You've seen my face many a times
I'm the one with the earbuds in
smokin' the cigarette
strolling through the park,
And the one with the white collar
sittin' at the bus stop
waitin' to start another Tuesday.
I'm the one with the fist in the air
and a joint between my lips
at the rock show.
You know me.

Maybe you haven't seen me
because you just look right through me
every time you walk past me.
I am just another face in your daily grind,
Not even a familiar smile or a friendly display
Just eyes, a mouth and a nose
placed in contemporary fashion
to give enough background color
for your masterpiece painting.
How thoughtful,
You're really using just one piece of me.