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They lay there open on the table
Their sharp blades,
Taunting me-
Beckoning me to use them
I stare at them
Wanting to use them
Knowing if I do
It’ll be yet another regret
For someone else

I look away
Urge to use them is overwhelming
Looking at them reminds me of
All the memories
From a time not so long ago that
I was in such a dark place
No one could save me
Seeing them, even now
Reminds me of the other times
I used them
For the pleasure of feeling pain

Just their presence
Reminds of the past-
How right it felt
Pressing them down
Into my wrists
Just to watch the
Rush of blood
Seeping down my arms

I tell myself
Those days are over now
I swear I’ve changed
Even though
The scissors are still there
They mean the same thing
They aren’t who I am anymore,
Just a reminder that I’ve changed
Please don't tell me
Not to hurt myself
It isn't that easy

Don't make it sound like
I'm not trying to stop
You're my friend
Obviously you see
How much I'm struggling

Maybe if I made
These terrible scars
On your arms
Instead of mine
You'd get addicted
See it isn't so easy to stop

Better I hurt you than me
***** please
We all know you were asking for this

Once you hurt yourself
Don't come crying to me
I tried to warn you
You didn't listen
Like I said
Don't come crying to me
You and me forever
That was such a lie
You said we'd always be together
Boy you had all the right lines

You said I love you
So many times
Those words
Meant everything to me
They meant nothing, a
Sputtering river from your mouth

You meant the world to me
Built me up
When I thought no one
Would ever love this broken catastrophe

Now we're nothing
You're not my baby
There is no you and me

No matter what
You'll always have a piece of
This broken heart
You did something worse
Than causing these
Black and blue bruises to
Appear over my body

Worse than taking
My innocence away
At this point I wish
You would've popped my cherry
That wouldn't be as bad

You know what you did
This thing that was so bad
Worse than defiling
My fragile human body

You took away the
Three words that meant the world to me

Threw I love you in my face
Like it was a weapon
You win
You've taken my
HEART
Away from me

Goodbye will never
Be able to rid my mind
Of this terrible travesty
Emma lays her fragile hands
Onto her flat stomach
Head saying skinny
Mirror saying
Not skinny enough

Not skinny enough
Not skinny enough
Not skinny enough
Is all Emma hears

So she gets a toothbrush
Sticks it down her throat
So all the food
Not in her system
That she hasn't eaten in weeks
Flies out of her mouth

Tara cries at night
Her mother died when she
Was just a little girl
Her dad blames her
For her mother being gone

He can't deal with Tara
He gets wasted just to make
His poor little daughter's
Sickly pale skin
Turn into a mess of
Black and blue
At least he has yet to
Take away her innocence

Lily has to wear
Long sleeves every day
She's too scared
That someone will see
The scars that she
Creates on her own body

John is always drunk or high
Never a day
That he doesn't smoke ****

His dad beats him silly
Almost to no return
He needs something to
Take away the pain
Something to be numb

Dave has no way out
Scars cover his
Small teenage body

Medication?
That's a lie
It makes him worse
Want to die
So he takes his meds
Shoves them down his throat
To make it to a place
Much better than his
"home"
This is sad, and messed up and I'm sorry.
If you suffer from anorexia, depression, bulimia or abuse or anything, talk to me.
I'm here to help
This is not goodbye
Just a new Hello
Erin thinks as
She pulls the trigger
The bullet goes through her heart

As she fades away
Into the unknown
She can't help but be happy
She finally has a place to call home
My hand
in which you
till rows with
your fingers
will produce
the most painfully
exquisite
flowers
by the time
my adoration
for you
reaches the point
where our fingertips
touch.
There will always
be flowers
in my hands
for you,
even if
our fingertips
part.
There are a lucky few of us, who benefit from the paltry services of the mental healthcare system.
The rest of us, well, we are the ones who walk naked down the street with absent faces.
We are the ones who sit alone and ***** on the street corners of your small town America.
Your America.
We mutter nonsense to ourselves, for the sake of a sanity that was denied us.
Denied us, yes, as we sought and sought a solution to our degradation, but we never could grasp that golden ring.

Mrs. Murphy trims her hedges.
And we walk obtrusively through the park
on your warm, sunny, sky blue happy day,
seeking love and connection with our own humanity in the garbage receptacles
that are scattered down the paths of our solitary confinement.

And in your eyes?  Yes, yours!
We seek our solace, our redemption.
If only a single soul would glance up,
and connect with the eyes of our soul starved, 'yes, here I am, friend!'

We seek the self same recognition that you do.
We seek that opportunity to be.
That opportunity to be loved.
 Jan 2013 Alicia Strong
Sarah
I haven't felt anything for a while

I see the smiles
and feel them spreading across my face

but  haven't felt anything for a while now

Its like im lost in reality

where the world keeps on spinning and times doesn't slow down

but my questions just tumble around, pile high in a mound of why's

I laugh and cry
but really I don't know why

I no what people may want me to feel
but those feeling never get felt

the smiles are just smiles and the tears are only tears

cause i haven't felt in a while
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