Betrayal
in her eyes
as truth settles in
to watch the show.
I try for calm,
but poison butterflies
grow claws
and rip my words
to shreds.
I parry with Honesty,
taking hits so sudden
my breath has no choice but to retreat,
wondering why Justice played
her Champion
so late.
I couldn't see
what I had destroyed at the time.
Or perhaps
I wouldn't look
Consequence in the eye.
Now
Here it all is.
It stares me down.
I can't watch
the emotions dance
through her mind.
Defeat is imminent
so I accept
the fate of my secrets
because finally
I can see
**what I've done.

The first time
I took my clothes off in front of you,
I didn’t take everything off.
The first time
I pressed my bare skin against yours,
There was still something between us:
A final barrier between my secrets
And your knowing them.
People say the act of love is the most intimate,
But it isn’t.
The truth is,
The most intimate of acts is stripping yourself
Not of clothes,
But of everything hidden,
Even from yourself.
This act of trust,
Of divulging the deepest, darkest parts of yourself
You often refuse to acknowledge –
This is laying yourself bare.
And often we ask for nothing more
Than to see someone’s clothes on the floor
Because, frankly,
True nakedness is something too personal to ask for.

You love the roses - so do I. I wish
The sky would rain down roses, as they rain
From off the shaken bush. Why will it not?
Then all the valley would be pink and white
And soft to tread on. They would fall as light
As feathers, smelling sweet; and it would be
Like sleeping and like waking, all at once!

As I lay there dying,
I remember all of those times,
You used to say you'd never hurt me,
And I know it's all a lie,
I don't feel you lying next to me,
So I must have been mistaken,
Cause you said you'd never leave me,
But my heart you have taken,
And as I try to stand,
Giving it my best,
I fall back to the ground,
While I clinch to my chest,
And while I wait to die,
I remember what you said,
That if I ever left you,
You told me I'd be dead.

Are you really
So blind
That you cannot see
How far
Far
Far
Away
You're pushing me?
Or am I the one
Doing the pushing?

Hands gripped tightly to the wheel
Radio off, wipers on
Nowhere to go
The house is not home
Not anymore
The car was quiet
He had one passenger
His blue knapsack filled
With what he could salvage
He threw the car into reverse
And now the only thing left to do
Is drive

When I was 8, my mother tried to leave home.
I packed a trash bag holding only blankets
I was fully prepared to go with her
she broke dishes trying to get all her things into the car
when she was on the last bag, I wrapped my arms around her waist
and offered her every hug I had to give for her
but she told me
"Not a hug on this earth could keep me here"
but I knew I could do it.
I held her until my dad got home
they talked for hours
and my mother
stayed
I still wonder how my dad did it
I still wonder why I was prepared to go with my mother
I still wonder why I thought a trash bag full of blankets
was enough to live on.