Sink your teeth
deep into my innocence,
on your plump lips
does it taste devine?
Just like this heart of mine?

Drink up the grease
of guilt and lies
I dare you, I dare you!
It'll mix with yours
just fine.

**** my wasted kisses
from the tip of my tongue,
they always lingered there,
Scrape them off with a razor
put them in a jar.

But leave my heart,
leave it dead and black
inside me.

Hiding behind my smile.
Hiding  behind the sparkle in my eyes.
Hiding behind who I am inside.
Hiding behind the tears I cry.
Hiding behind one big lie.

Hiding from the voices in my head.
Hiding from the blood I've shed.
Hiding from the pain I've caused.
Hiding from all my flaws.

Hiding all the scars I've made.
Hiding all my razor blades.
Hiding all my feelings still.
Hiding what i wish wasn't real.

Deep down I can see the real me,
that's all covered up by this scarred body.

One day I won't have to hide who I am,
I will come out from my mind, be proud of who I am.

I can't forgive you
for getting in the car,
no, for getting behind the wheel
of that car.

I won't forgive you
for drinking the whiskey,
no, for drinking before you drove
the car away.

I can't forgive you
for taking that corner,
no, for driving way to fast
on that road.

I won't forgive
for taking my friend,
no, for taking our friend
out of our lives.

Hey, baby, you're lookin' a little ill
how's the taste of poison on your lips?
You drank it off mine.

Hey, baby, you're lookin' a little pale
what's it like lookin' up at the world
from the ground?
I promised myself I'd knock you down.
Premeditated destruction
of the only one I've never loved.

Here, baby, take this pill
and leave it on your beautiful tongue
don't swallow, don't bite. Not yet.
Pretend it's that pathetic disc
you get from church every sunday.
The Lord has come personally
this time just to see you suffer.

Baby, this could be a Hollywood blockbuster.

I'd warn you with lights and sirens
but I don't think you should know
about the blade in the tablet I gave you.

Poison mixes with your blood too well.

Life gets better - so much better that
you wouldn’t believe me if I told you
but before that happens
you’ll learn some lessons
some of them will be fun
others bitter medicine
swallow them though
they’ll make you strong

don’t beat yourself up so much
don’t put yourself down
you are actually pretty awesome
don’t obsess so much about being the best
the less you do that the better you’ll become
there is no such thing as “perfect”
but you will be excellent
you’ll be quite an overachiever – even when you don’t try!
You already know what you want to do
Not many 15 year olds have that kind of clarity!
You’re a rare, unique one – you’ll do exactly what you dream to do.

But there will be speed bumps
You’ll lose your way sometimes
and confused Gemini that you are-
you’ll always want both sides of everything
but you’ll figure that out eventually

you will never be as thin as you want to be
but you’ll learn to appreciate your body
just as it is
you’ll find you look beautiful when you smile

you’ll have a job you hate, and one that you love
you’ll do well in both-
much to other people’s envy
you’ll mostly have good bosses

you’ll never have a boyfriend, your marriage will be arranged
but you will find love-the love of a good man
who will stand by you even when things go wrong
he won’t at all be like the man of your dreams
but he will be exactly what you need-he’ll make you happy!

what I’m trying to tell you darling-
is that in ten years all the stuff you’re worrying about won’t matter
you’ll find new things to fuss over.
High school will be a distant land
That you would have left behind
The bullies who trouble you now
won’t be anywhere near

you’ll see that its okay
to be an introvert in an extraverted world
you’ll make a handful of super-friends
who you can trust and who care
and many acquaintances who don’t mind your company
but there will be some who you can’t trust
some who will take advantage of your kindness
ignore them and move on
there is more important stuff to take care of!

your writing will get better; you’ll be a super cook,
you’ll never like sports-stop trying to
its just not you!

in a few years time
you’ll be touching lives
and changing them for the better
you’ll be a teacher and a student
all at once
you’ll inspire and influence

so don’t give up on life yet-
don’t be so depressed
wear a smile and face the world
your life is going to be all set!

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
08.09.2012
Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish