****** so what if I'm not perfect.

So what if I'm not good enough for anyone

So what if I don't stand out from the rest

You all were going to leave me anyways.

Sorry I'm not at your transparently high level

See you later when you fall.

With her on your side

I'll never win.

Now I'm the bad guy.


But at least tell me what I did wrong.

Why must you  do this girl?

You know he's a ****,

didn't you learn the first few times he broke your heart?

Just because you guys are together now

doesn't mean he'll stop breaking your heart.

Everyone is full of joy,

and I can point out those that come from awful places,

those two kids grew up in a crack-house until they were adopted.

Now they are two of the most joyful people I know!

How?

Maybe that can be me someday. :)

Someday I'll be completely rid of all these feelings.

they just create problems that aren't there.

Please tell me what to do now.

I don't know what normal is anymore.

Don't complain about you're awful life

when half of it is you not letting yourself be happy.

I'm watching everything fall around me

and this time

*I don't care

Staring at the screen

knowing you are there

but knowing I can't say hi

A another story

a different beginning

The same outcome.

No one is joking

when they say that everything is temporary

Even friends will drift apart

as similarities disappear

Why am I even awake?

There's no one to talk to

nothing to say.

Except stare at the screen

hoping for a reply from you

How easily people stop to care
it really sickens me.

Did they even truly care in the first place?

A tradgidy they call it.

But what are they doing to help?


NOTHING

they just keep talking about,
looking back at pictures from years ago,
how much they've changed.

Do they not remember
that just five days ago,
20 innocents never got that chance?

Do they not even think
of what those families have to face
when Christmas comes by
and the pre-bought gifts are left un-wrapped?

Or what about the many kids going to school
and they don't have a teacher
because she was murdered trying to save them?

How can you ever forget anything like that?

When so many battles are fought

and energy dies with each blow

both given and received

you begin to wonder

if this war is even worth fighting.

As I drift under the surface,

the blue waters cloud my vision

I close my eyes and try to let go.

But your image is always here.

I don't know why I'm surprised.

We were never a circle,

more like a spider's web that was constantly being stretched,

tested to see how strong the threads really were.

Another one joins the family,
to share ideas
and to receive them in return.

To grow in imagination
and writing ability
and not to mention,

to meet some of the best people ever!

Darlin' be calm,
everything will be alright.

The moon will rise
the sun will bring light to the world.

You'll find love someday,
and I hope it's everything you didn't find in me.

You made me want to die of heart break

but you were my reason for living.

I don't know why I can't stop smiling,
everything has been going wrong lately.

But maybe its just because
you've come into my life

One slip of tongue can ruin a bond

so close...

that it defied all laws of society

Nothing matters anymore...

So should it end?

*Would anyone care?

I don't want to fall in love
just to say goodbye

Crunchy leaves lay on the guitar
as the music drifts off in the wind

the winter is cominG...

soon yOur birthday will be here

remember the gift i gave yOu last year?

you probably Don't have it anymore

rememBer how last year when i went away for vacation

we would chat at least twice a daY...

you said so oftEn how much you missed me

i missed home because oF you

and yOu only.....

you said you had a present for when i retuRned

i nEver got it

i guess it wasn't loVe, and these things just fall apart

and as this year rolls around without you herE

i know i'll be missing eveRything i thought we had

You were once my one companion
You were all that mattered
You were once a friend and father
Then my world was shattered
Wishing you were somehow here again
Wishing you were somehow near
Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed
Somehow you would be here

Wishing I could hear your voice again
Knowing that I never would
Dreaming of you won't help me to do
All that you dreamed I could
Passing bells and sculpted angels
Cold and monumental seem, for you the wrong companions
You were warm and gentle

Too many years fighting back tears
Why can't the past just die?
Wishing you were somehow here again
Knowing we must say, "Goodbye"
Try to forgive, teach me to live
Give me the strength to try
No more memories, no more silent tears
No more gazing across the wasted years
Help me say, "Goodbye"
Help me say, "Goodbye"

Some people say they fell for someone,
either they jumped and fell,
or didn't see the end of the cliff.

For me it was a bit different.
I saw the edge of the cliff,
and I tried to stay away from it.

Then you somehow wandered by
and pulled me to the edge hypnotizing me.
and then right before we fell off, I tried to back away,

but you gave me a big push,
and down I went only regretting letting you lead me
once I hit the ground.

Go on and starve yourself if you think you're fat

(even though you're already a toothpick)

I've tried your methods to have a flat stomach.

(It didn't work)

If I'm going to starve myself and feel depressed

(feeling worthless and never good enough)

to get a flat stomach, to hell with that.

I'd rather be fat and with a smile

It's a constant struggle

to find true happiness in my life

without you.

The music I'm blasting hurts my ears

but its better then the words being cried out in the outside world

You won't let me be

with your lack of words.

There it is...
i wrote everything i ever felt about everything
and gave it to the world
I don't know if it was worth it,
or ever will be.

Now it's almost worse...
because I'll be waiting
with knots in my stomach
until i get a response

You wrote your promise in the sand.

But i forgot

that winds will blow

that feet will walk wherever they choose

and that the tide always comes in

and washes it all away.

For once this is a pure happiness.

For once, please don't ruin it

I will not fall   I will not fall  I will not fall I will -not-
                

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for                                                                                                                                      **you

.                                                                                      (your name comes up in every conversation)

...my biggest regret

I was always scared of diving.

Yet the idea of swimming among the coral

and with the can't-be-real-because-they-are-to-beautiful-but-are-real fish

was way to appealing.

I dove in and never wanted to leave.

I could've stayed under the surface for eternity.

But there was never enough oxygen in the tank.

And when I was all out of breath

and there was no air to assist me

and so I choked on the very water

I had been dying to be in.

Everything you want, handed to you
But nothing you need is here

They'll give you the stars, the moon, all the planets.
but you can't have the Earth, you can always die of thirst.

Although I don't regret my decision,
I'll always miss you,
and wish that you gave me a second chance.

Roll down all the windows
and blast the music

Let your hair loose
and go full speed on a freeway

We're young and wild and free babe,
In a sunshine state with no parents around