How quickly things can bounce back
to where they belong

Why couldn't this have happened sooner?
to save all the heartbreak and depression?

I'm still glad you're back though, darling.

What do you do when there's nothing left

and no one will listen to you

no matter what you say

how you say it

or how loud you are.

You don't give a ****

never did...

and never will

Nothing i do can reflect my true feelings deep inside

with every casual goodbye...




                                                                                                                        ...I wonder if it's the last

They will be waiting for those shinning faces
to come tumbling down the stairs in the morning.

but they won't come

Easter will come around
and they will be waiting to see chocolate stained cheeks

but there are no baskets to hide

What do you do?

Where do you go?

Who will you be thankful for at Thanksgiving?

There's nothing to do...

but to push onwards.

I'm still waiting for a response

that I'll never get.

Don't let me crack again

this time might be earthquake force

Please share some of this new-found peace


I've forgotten how it feels,

but I know it was wonderful.

Help me get there again.

Instead of saying time heals everything

tell me something that actually works

True meanings cease to exist

                            as you do

Tears disappear into the earth
                            
                            freezing in the ground

As you are

I'm probably stupid for doing this,

but I just can't help it...

I'm a big believer in second chances,

but this is you're fourth.

I'll say this is you're last chance,

but I know if it falls apart again

I won't be able to resist

and we'll start at a new beginning...

again

it's a theme all to common.

first we ran to each other

then together...

before i knew it you were to fast

and i was always running...

running after you.

But now i've given up


                          and
                            you
                              keep
                                running

Again we run away

Again we try to solve a minor problem

with all this useless drama.

reality sets in


and i realize he is still gone

Please don't lose me in the crowd


*...like so many have before you...

He sits there,
joyful music in his ears,
a frown on his face.

Just about now I could use a lecture

Yelling at myself for not moving on,

for not letting go,

for not being happy.

It's been over a year now,
but even now
with every word comes a memory

And I can't forget...


Will I ever even get over you?

Oh **** it!
I ate a whole slice of cake,
how could I?

I'll never get to 90 lbs. this way...
When my parents go to bed,
it'll be another trip to the bathroom
to get rid of those ugly calories.

I'm never hungry anymore,
and I only eat one meal a day
(of course, only half...only fat people eat full meals)

I can already see all of my ribs,
I that's good right?
all the models look like that.

Maybe now I can fit in with the real crowd,
and I'll get a good guy.
All I have to do is get my stomach a little more flat,
lose those 3 more pounds.

Then I'll be perfect.

I wake staring at a tear-stained pillow

dark bags have formed under my eyes

i listlessly stare back at my reflection  in the mirror

i don't know that disheveled creature.

Drag a brush over my hair, but not accomplishing anything,

i get ready for another day

another day filled with the ghosts and echoes of my mistakes

and knowing i can never fix them

I can ramble forever about everything we had,
everything we could have been,
everything we had going for us.
I could write dozens of poem about everything that we lost,
and I have.
I could ramble on forever....
and never have said enough.
It's one of those things you can never describe...
no matter who it is speaking.
But the one thing I must come to face eventually
is that your gone forever...

                                                               ­                                  and there no way to get you back.





                                                      ­                                                                 ­                                      ´ *ever

"I want a relationship"
you said
"Same has always been for me"
I replied.

What has happened since then?
How was it that we fell apart

When just weeks ago you said
"How are we going to make it through college?"

How did that happen?
When we didn't even last a year?

How can a love so strong
a love we both risked for

Have been blown away
with a single breath?

Laptop closed

Light turned off

Headphones plugged in

A sweet song plays softly

And as I drift to sleep...

The image your happy face

My eyes close with a smile

"Everyone needs something to believe in. Don't they?"

"Yes, I suppose that's true."

Dear priest, I hope you know that what you say
is what people want to believe in.

Desperately.

I'll forgive him a hundred times over (but no more then that)
just because he was so lost and confused...

but you.........

knew.....

The many happy memories are the cause of my tears

The tendrils of smoke,

they drift on the slightest zephyr

and find their way to you

they will find any crack and break you

the smoke from a fire, the sublimation of dry ice

they don't agree but the goal is the same.

Must make money.....

Must do all my school work.....

Must work out and lose enough pounds that I'm not fat anymore...

Must regain all the trust that has been lost....

Must find a way to make everything better again.....

AHH

How to prioritize????

You can only put so much into one without completely losing all the others.

You can't just let it be can you?
Just when we are letting go,
you have to leave one more
everlasting blow.

Other people have written parts of the story for me.

I'm done with trying to write it myself

as it is always met with remarks and disappointment, rejection.

Time to close the book.

If you stuff to much of anything
into anything

the pressure builds
until it explodes.

You will soon find...
I can only retain so much information.

But by then,
it will be to late.

And I will be gone

A bright light is blinding.

I guess you were to bright for me to handle.

And now I'm blind to everything but you.

If you can take away all my love, what do I need you for?
You can take away all these words, there's no meaning anymore.
You can take away everything leave me lying on the floor,
all those sorrys, we can't go back to the start.
You can't fix me, I'm torn apart.

[Chorus]
I wanna run away from love, this time I have had enough.
Everytime I feel your touch, I'm broken.
Shattered all the pieces of parts.
Never thought I'd fall so hard.
I'm putting back together my heart, it's broken.

You can take these photographs and watch them fade away.
You can through away all these letters, I don't care about what they say.
All those sorrys, there's a million reasons why you can't mend me, don't even try.

[Chorus]

I know it's gonna take some time, to finally realize.
I got nothing left inside, nothing to hide, I'm broken, broken, broken

Bury me in a ship
Deep down in the ocean.

So that a coral could grow on my coffin
and colorful fish could stop by for a visit.

And something dead could create something beautiful.

I need a shoulder to cry on

but I forgot no one cared but you

and now you're gone.

1 2 3 4

another friend going out the door

5 6 7 8

for my last friend to leave, I only have to wait

Some vortex
or a twist in time
a mistake you can't change
Your favorite memory that you forgot.

One moment passes
as you watch it go,
another one is already gone.

Never stop looking forward
you never want to miss what's coming.

because it might be your new favorite moment.

When most people step into calm waters,
the only effects are a few small ripples.

But you never just step into calm waters.
You cannon ball and send waves crashing.

Play

A sad song plays softly

Skip

Suddenly everything is light and cheerful

Pause

I have time to remember the words for later

Play*

The cheerful song continues on repeat

What's the point of asking,
when we could never be?
Everything we had
was blown away in the wind.
I don't think I'll get over the fact
that a single mistake ruined us.

All those plans....
wiped out.

Even though we are just friends now..
I can't help but want more

Because I'm still in love with you're old self

and your new personality is alien

Flickering lights live in the shadows of the granite walls.

Extending on and on with infinite layers,

each with a story,

each with a tear,

each as a candle was lit with prayers from the soul.

Each with a hope that things will get better,

that things will heal.

That maybe, just maybe, their prayers, hopes, and dreams will be answered.