with your teeth, you left bruises
but I wish they were scars
so I could keep you on me
for the rest of my existence
-

I poured my love into you
like red wine into a glass
and you drank
and you drank
until you were sloppy
until I was empty
-

and just like the leaves
I, too
die in autumn
-

it's not necessarily
that I want to go to sleep,
I just don't want
to be awake
-

My childhood best friend got engaged
and the first thing that came to my mind
when she asked me to be in the wedding
was that I really hope there is an open bar
-

Break down.
Look at everything around, and all I see is you.
You are my past, you are my present, you are my future.
You are my worst, you are my best.
You have made me, you have destroyed me.
You build me up, up, up.
You knock me down, down down.
My thoughts, they revolve around you.
Your gravitational pull, it is far stronger than my will to leave.
I fell for you, in all your infamy.
How can I leave?
How can I stay?
Please don't force me to choose.
You can't expect me to.
You know how weak I am, how quick to give in.
Quick to forgive, quick to forget.
You never had to deal with consequences, it always came so easy.
How great it must be to live your life.
I was here when you needed me, here when you wanted me.
Did you ever need me?
Did you ever want me?
I'll never know.
I have always known.
I say I love you.
You say okay.
That's how it should be, right?
Wrong.
So very wrong.
But you were never wrong.
How could you be?
I never allowed it.
You were perfection, my obsession.
But you are a killer, cold blooded.
You murdered me, claimed my heart as your prize.
But,
I love you.
No, I loved you.
You have me.
No, you had me.
I have chosen,
I am breaking free.

I got so sick of all the
force fed motivational *******
about how it all gets better
and that I'll be "normal" someday
with a little therapy and a lot of pills
****,
I didn't want to hear that
all I wanted was for someone
to ******* be honest with me
and tell me that it is okay
to want to die
-