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Jan 2013 · 550
I scoff at happy people.
Alexis Martin Jan 2013
-
Why can't everyone
just be
as unstable
as me
-
Jan 2013 · 1.2k
Back to where I was before.
Alexis Martin Jan 2013
It's been colder in my bed
without you here
I have no arm around me
no hand tangled in my hair
there are no good night kisses
no good morning tickles
bathtime is routine again
no more water fights to be had
afternoons are spent alone
no spontaneous sessions of love making
(I'm sure the apartment below
is quite thankful for that)
-
basically
what I am getting at
is that I miss you
and I hope to god
you miss me too
Jan 2013 · 560
1:22 pm 1/7/13
Alexis Martin Jan 2013
If I could have anything in the world
at this moment in time
it would be
your fingers
interlocking
with mine
-
Jan 2013 · 1.0k
Jealous Sea
Alexis Martin Jan 2013
jealousy, jealousy
the way you look at her
and it is her
I long to be
-
Jan 2013 · 592
But you won't.
Alexis Martin Jan 2013
I never fell
in love with you
(I guess that
was for the best)
You never fell
in love with me
(I still hope
that you will)
-
Jan 2013 · 488
I swear I am over you.
Alexis Martin Jan 2013
Lately
I wake up in
a state that cannot be found
on a road map
and I wonder why
you are not there
   where are you these days
          getting drunk with your friends
    why did I love you
I have no ******* clue
    but still
          night after night
    I dream about
death
and I dream about
you
Jan 2013 · 660
And then you threw me away.
Alexis Martin Jan 2013
I poured my love into you
like red wine into a glass
and you drank
and you drank
until you were sloppy
until I was empty
-
Jan 2013 · 846
Souvenirs from the New Year
Alexis Martin Jan 2013
a cigarette burn
on my thigh
and mascara stains
on my sleeve
-
Dec 2012 · 646
I know it's not fair.
Alexis Martin Dec 2012
my darling,
the universe is never perfect
for more than one night at a time
   -but why?
because sweetheart,
if every single night was perfect
then the flame would lose its spark
   -but I love her
   *-I know
Dec 2012 · 696
12.18
Alexis Martin Dec 2012
I feel like I am
constantly choking
on my own teeth
and being suffocated
by my own arteries
-
Dec 2012 · 764
Or both?
Alexis Martin Dec 2012
perhaps I will bundle up
and read some Bukowski
and listen to the rain falling
-
perhaps I will daydream
of falling in love with you
of you falling in love with me
Alexis Martin Dec 2012
it had to be her
didn't it
it ******* had
to be
her
-
Dec 2012 · 709
A walking garden.
Alexis Martin Dec 2012
soon I will be covered in flowers
they will grow from my scars
and bring infinite beauty
to all that is ugly about me
and I will live forever
in a skin of petals
Dec 2012 · 827
Head vs. Heart vs. Pleasure
Alexis Martin Dec 2012
nothing can compare to
making love with you
underneath the moonlight
your fingertips pressing
into every inch of me
the arch of my spine
the union of our souls
your lips taste like love
but to be completely honest
that terrifies me more than anything
Dec 2012 · 703
Prayer to an unknown force.
Alexis Martin Dec 2012
please
let things be beautiful
just this once
I do not ask for much
just the flowers
in the garden
and the salt
in the sea
please
oh, please
let things be beautiful.
Alexis Martin Dec 2012
it rained for days
a torrential downpour
that flooded the streets
and created an ocean
between you and me
-
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
I've got a pouding in my head
that not even a bottle of whiskey could cure
yeah I've been happy these days
yeah it's been ******* brilliant
but I would be lying if I said
I don't think of you from
time to time
-
Nov 2012 · 513
But whatever.
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
and now I realize
that it hurts because
you never wrote lovely things
about me
Nov 2012 · 834
11.25 // late night walks
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
the universe was marvelous last night
you took me by the hand
and we walked for a few miles
past the playground and the morgue
our lungs left vapor trails behind us
as the bitter autumn air licked our cheeks
but I didn't feel a **** thing
except for the warmth of your palms
pressed tight against my back
pressed tight against my back.
Nov 2012 · 390
Newsflash: I am happy
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
I haven't been able to write much lately
and I think it is because
for the first time in a long time
I have no sadness
-
Nov 2012 · 461
I don't think I am real.
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
I think I have some kind of energy
or gravitational pull
It fuels people
and attracts them to me.
I don't understand it
because I want to be
as far away from myself
as humanly possible.
But someone once told me
that I am not really a human at all
I believed her.
Nov 2012 · 1.2k
It's late and I'm delirious.
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
I hear your heart beating
from across the room
your asthma is so cute
when it is trying to **** you
-
Sink your teeth into me
****** fixated on my flesh
salt lingers on your tongue
here comes the chemical reaction
Nov 2012 · 846
night/mare
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
All I wanted was to go to the beach
to smell the fresh salt air
feel the sand between my toes
I had you in my arms
I had you in my arms
But the ocean was a building
and the sand was a series of hallways
Before I knew it, I was back at the hospital
needles and machines poking and prodding
Doctors and nurses shouting and running
like the mindless drones I know them to be
But still,
I had you in my arms
I had you in my arms
You were the only one
who believed in me
when I said I didn't want to die
You were the only one.

-

Nothing like a good ol' fashioned nightmare
to rattle your spirits and twist your stomach
Nov 2012 · 445
Truths
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
I walked into the room
he said he liked my hair
I thought he was lying
He wasn't.
I sang a song to myself
he said he liked my voice
I thought he was lying
He wasn't.
I had a staring contest
he said he liked my eyes
I thought he was lying
He wasn't.
I let him kiss my lips
he said he liked me
I thought he was lying
He wasn't.
Nov 2012 · 366
11.9
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
I'm starting to feel again
it's like a waking limb
almost fully numb
almost fully conscious
-
Nov 2012 · 648
Sealed with a kiss.
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
Night after night
you find a way
to get under my skin
      I have not a single ounce
      of love to give you anymore
      it has been replaced with hatred
           You don't necessarily deserve
            what I have put you through
            but you reap what you sow, *****
                I never expected you to be more
                than what you were capable of being
                apparently that was asking too much
                     So here I sit and write
                     to the man I thought I loved
                     who turns out to be nothing more
                                     than a boy
                                      a coward
                                      a phony
                                            -
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
Will you ever love me
the way you love
your perfume
your cigarrettes
your diamonds.
We both know the answer
to that question
now don't we,
Mother.
  -
Nov 2012 · 1.1k
short//story
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
Instead of going out on that Friday night
she got out her old suitcase
and filled it with every memory
of the one who broke her heart.
She gathered every picture,
every love letter and poem,
every baggy band sweatshirt
and gently packed them away.
With her warmest scarf and mittens on
she hauled the baggage
down to the taxicab
and gave the driver an address.
"Here you are, miss
did you need a hand with that bag?"
She kindly refused the offer
and stepped onto the pier.
The suitcase grew heavier
and heavier by the minute
as she drug it all the way
to the edge of the dock.
Waves crashing against the wood
and the wind ruining her hair
she took one last look at the bag
and tossed it over the edge.
A single tear streamed down
her rosy red cheeks
as the tide took away
the suitcase full of broken promises.
She ran back to the cab
and asked him to take her home
where she could finally exist
without the burdens of love.
There is no moral to the story,
no real point to be had
Except that I am that girl
and I put you in that bag.
Nov 2012 · 357
The list will grow.
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
I want to write about everything
everyone
I have ever loved
but when I think about it,
there are very few things
that come to mind.
----
the sea
the garden
the books
the boy
Nov 2012 · 724
Je Promets
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
yeah, I know the feeling
a constant battle
between the
superiority and inferiority
complexes
it's enough to send us
over the edge
(we wish)
-
but the beauty is
I am here with you
you
are not alone
no matter how hard
you push everyone
away
I will never ever
leave you,
my darling
-

*I promise.
Oct 2012 · 979
You're so predictable.
Alexis Martin Oct 2012
the way your hand felt
sliding up my shirt
the other one making its efforts
to unbutton my jeans
you were trembling
it must have been scary
to be so new at this
knowing how many times
I have been here
your innocence was alluring
I wanted it
and you gave it to me
so happily and willingly
you'll always be
a hopeless romantic
for a lady who
can write.
Oct 2012 · 607
I guess I'm still bitter.
Alexis Martin Oct 2012
we talked about forever
like it was something feasible
and at times I believed it was
a forever
with a person
with a soul
but you have no soul
that became evident after you
     hit me
       pushed me
          misused me
             kissed her
                 ****** her
                    picked her
I'm well aware
that I am no Juliet
but you were never a Romeo
despite your fake and valiant efforts
where are you now?
alone
like me
the difference is
you will always be alone
but I fell in love again
I guess you found your forever
sure hope it was worth it
*****.
Oct 2012 · 439
dream 10.27
Alexis Martin Oct 2012
your hand in mine
we gazed in wonder
as Saturn and Neptune
became one with Earth
*sometimes the universe is perfect
Oct 2012 · 851
sea salt
Alexis Martin Oct 2012
-
banned from the sea
you crawled onto land
and there you found me
-
the salt on your skin
tastes just like home
tastes like where I fit in
-
Oct 2012 · 486
haiku.
Alexis Martin Oct 2012
you are a habit
addictive as nicotine
but far more lethal
Oct 2012 · 469
dream 10.26
Alexis Martin Oct 2012
the sound of my favorite heels
against the hardwood floors
round and round I spin
my dizzy dance
Am I pretty?
you kiss me on the forehead
the perfect kind of kiss
that leaves me feeling infinite
I cover your eyes with my palms
Come find me
hardwood turns to green grass
poppies sprout and replace the couch
the warm sun guides the way
as I take your hand and run
*And then I wake up
Oct 2012 · 711
pair o' docks
Alexis Martin Oct 2012
the memory of you
can not be categorized
into good or bad
black or white
wrong or right
day or night
I hate you
oh, but I love you
You are hideous
no, you are beautiful
my sweet little paradox
-
Oct 2012 · 467
treatment (1)
Alexis Martin Oct 2012
I said it before
and I will say it again
You are haunting me
infecting me
possessing me
You have taken root
in my heart
and grown flowers
around my bones
I radiate you
with every fiber of my being.
But I am not beautiful
No, far from it
toxic
covered in a darkness
that you will never know.
But there is a light
a small gleam of a blossom
and soon, soon
I will bloom
and I will be lovely
Oct 2012 · 1.1k
farewell to (bloody) arms
Alexis Martin Oct 2012
it hasn't even been a day
since I got out of the cave
and I can already see my demons
emerging from their hiding places
hello anxiety,
no I did not miss you
I see you there, razor blade
you can't hide from me
******, you sly devil
how did you get out of your bottle?
Since you all are here,
why don't you take a seat
and I'll brew us a *** of tea
For I have some bad news for you
and some good news for me
You have overstayed your welcome
I am cordially asking you to leave
and to never, ever return.
Oct 2012 · 608
"Sing me to sleep"
Alexis Martin Oct 2012
A simple thing to ask of me
Open my mouth
and let noise spill out
in melodies and harmonies
How bizarre it is to me
that I can control your body
with the fluctuation of my voice.
I sing those familiar songs to you
and watch your eyelids grow heavy
soon you are in another realm
but I still have you in my arms
I brush your wavy brown hair
off of your freckled forehead
and with a gentle kiss
I send you on your way.
Oct 2012 · 779
winter
Alexis Martin Oct 2012
prayers for winter
hanging on my lips
the bones of the forest
bare and blanketed in white
not a single sound
except for the trees breathing
the fireplace warms our skin
the whiskey warms our stomachs
your flannel draped loosely
around my goose-bumped shoulders
we soon fall asleep blissfully
to the sound of our heartbeats
syncing with the fall of snowflakes
Oct 2012 · 375
haiku 10.2
Alexis Martin Oct 2012
I could be lovely
but I would rather cover
myself in darkness
Sep 2012 · 630
A moment on the couch
Alexis Martin Sep 2012
I have never held a tighter grip
than I did in that moment
on your Black Flag t-shirt
draping over your trembling chest
the smell of hash and cigarettes
clung to our damp bodies
I had hoped it would mask
the stench of loneliness in the room
as your arms began to grasp tighter
around my broken bag of bones
I whispered something into your ear
and I have since then been repeating it
over and over again in my head
trying to make sense of it

*I'm not ready to let go yet.
Sep 2012 · 667
The Devil is a Boy
Alexis Martin Sep 2012
I saw the Devil today
he was disguised as a human
dressed in brand names
exactly how I remembered
I hope he did not see me
fleeing through corridors
out of site
out of mind
nausea quickly paralyzed me
while the infection of his memory
consumed me from the inside out
but I have found a simple remedy
a quick fix to rid me of this ghost
take the blade and watch me spill
and eventually I no longer feel
Sep 2012 · 1.1k
humanoid
Alexis Martin Sep 2012
she falls for the beauty
of the cheekbone and spine
constellations of freckles
road maps of arteries
as she combs her fingers
through luscious waterfalls
she harbors a constant longing
to understand the vital *****
residing in his chest cavity
Sep 2012 · 662
timeline
Alexis Martin Sep 2012
-    

                                                  winter
introductions
first kiss
falling in love

                                                  spring
ar­guments
depression rises
love becomes rigid

                                                 summer
distance
hostility consumes
constant emotional war

                                                 autumn
reconcile
laughter blossoms
broken hearts mend

-
Sep 2012 · 2.4k
tobacco
Alexis Martin Sep 2012
a cigarette is a peculiar thing
it takes me to a different place
with every frail breath I take

I see my mother on the porch
a pack of Camels in her hand
the hand I longed to hold

I see you standing in the rain
a glowing ember near your mouth
the mouth that I longed to claim

I see him leaning against the wind
a Spirit in his hand and his heart on his sleeve
a heart that I longed to understand

I see her gazing out my window
the lighter illuminating her fragile bones
bones that I longed to trace

a cigarette is a peculiar thing
Sep 2012 · 1.1k
I'm a bitch.
Alexis Martin Sep 2012
tongue tied
knots of guilt
taste like him
taste like you
replace you
I'm trying to
he ****** me hard
better than you
he kissed my forehead
but I still felt you
the *** stained sheets
lead to blood stained wrists
I don't know what else to say
I hope this ruins your day
in one way
or another.
Sep 2012 · 539
9. 15
Alexis Martin Sep 2012
two years ago today
a part of me was murdered
and it took two years
to see what happened
to relive it over and over
to be haunted by it
to admit it
to vocalize it
and now I sit here
with the ashes of my past
and I want to die.
Alexis Martin Sep 2012
I wonder what that is like
to always feel something
when your lips touch another's

I remember what your lips meant
they represented comfort and
always left me gasping for breath

I have kissed others since you
left a tiny imprint on their body
but never on their heart
like I did to yours
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