****(s)
****(ed)
****(ing)

everyone
everyone
everyone

can not count
on fingers and toes
how many bodies
have claimed me

I made love once
I made love twice
the two golden boys
stay golden, ponyboy

becoming less human
and more calloused
every single day
whatever.

guilt
can you smell it on me
can you smell him on me
can you smell her on me
how many more people
is it going to take
to get your tongue
out of my mouth

                                   release
                                   my hands have let you go
                                   my lips have let you go
                                   my heart has(n't) let you go
                                   how many more moons
                                   is it going to take
                                   to get your face
                                   out of my nightmares

relapse
again you are here
again you are alive
again you are(n't) mine
how many more goodbyes
is it going to take
before I finally board
that train to the coastline

you once told me
that you wanted to make me smile
the way I did when you kissed me
for the rest of your life
and I am smiling like that now
I have been for a few days
and you are the reason
not because you picked me flowers
or because you said I was pretty
but because you let me go
and now I have the sunshine
and I have the garden
all to myself
and oh,
does it feel good
thank you.

all I had to say
was that she is beautiful
and off came her clothes

You are a rare flower
one that does not blossom
when the sun tells it to
you emanate beauty
heavenly color schemes
with petals of silk
and a stem of steel
aromatic and sweet
my garden is full of you
all mine,
you are all mine
My perfect flower.

lungs of salty air
seashells for hands
a pocket full of sand
sun rising
sun setting
over the vast blue blanket
covering mother earth
with waves as lullabies
she sleeps well tonight
she sleeps well tonight.