I took somethin' I shouldn't have taken.
It wasn't valuable,
it wasn't worth ****
Except for the buzz that I gained from it.

She lights up
And then
she tokes up
Inhales that happiness
And exhales that fakeness

I felt myself drain from my skin.
Holding to what I felt
Was like clawing at air
Meaningless and hopeless

I wanted sun
And flowers
And colors
But it didn’t happen
So I left you.

It was what I had to do.

I love the way italics look to you
Slanted
And painful
Important
And daint-ful

I love the way how bold you are.
Without having me
to press command B


I love that you can underline
My joys and pains
Jumbled but defined through your line.

I’ll give you that;
You were my first.
Yet you were nothing but regret,
And I still cringe when I see you packing things in a plastic bag
At the local grocery store.
Sorry it ******,
but I was high and didn’t care.

Now you,
Well you were confident and handsome
You knew how to deal with girls
And it was cruise, I would never see you again,
I was fine with that.
I had fun, thank you.
I guess I can say I’ve got with a black guy now.

We skipped school,
You and I,
Even as my third, I still didn’t love you
Even though we had dated twice before
To think that you were a varsity football ****;
I didn’t care though
And I had fun,
A good two hours of it,
But you were the one that made me realize this wasn’t doing it
That this wasn’t helping and that it made me feel worse
But oh well

Wow,
You were the most unexpected,
the unclassiest,
but probably the most fun
Probably.
We were in a car,
The cliché teenage ****;
I still think back and laugh
Because it wasn’t my car we were in, or yours for that matter
But my friend’s car
and she was driving.
You were a year younger, but rebellious
And I liked that.

Man, you ******.
It was my first time tripping,
But definitely not my first time dealing with guys like you.
I should have known,
But you were sweet,
You were a gentlemen
And you took care of me.
You made sure I was okay for my first time
I felt so good that night; new shapes and colors swirling around,
I just wanted to lie down.
I just wanted to cuddle, maybe.
Next thing I knew you were on top of me
And all I could feel was your pressure
I felt trapped,
Like I had to
I didn’t want to
But I had to
I don’t know what to think of that night anymore

I’m absolutely positive you existed,
But I can’t remember,
And that scares me.

I think you were the first one I truly cared about,
But now that I look back,
I don’t think I really did.
I loved the idea of you,
Just not you.
But it still hurts to think of it.
It wasn’t that good you know,
Maybe worse than my first,
But I disregarded that because I liked you.
And it hurt even more knowing that you didn’t like me,
That you kept denying any feelings for me.
Ill never forget the things you said right before
“Just friends, okay?”
Well it’s true what they say about sleeping with a friend
It ruined what we felt about each other
You didn’t go deep enough anyway.
Its been awkward with you ever since.

Two,
three
lines of speed;
bleed through what we
desire and need.
Take one more,
make it four;
forget what made you
crawl and plead.

iron cast
bullets
stray towards
iron cast
hearts
the irony
of the iron sea
cast what we
tell apart