It’s funny, how life just decided to become what it is. How nothing ever stayed the same from what it was.
And I wanted to write, so that I could tell you what you meant.
You were not simple.
It’s funny how I allowed everything to be crushed and dismembered by you.
How my face looked when you left, how my heart tore; pieces of flesh scattered in my blue blood.
I always imagined you loving me.
But you never did,
and I assume you never will.
I felt like I had to tear the valves of my heart and rearrange the blood flow that you had previously ****** up. I had to tear and twist and rip my skin so that I could go back to the way I was without you.
I destroyed myself for you. Every bit of me was blind with the dangerous love I had for you. I couldn't breathe, without your acceptance. I couldn't feel without you saying it was ok.
I was trapped under you,
the pressure large enough to shatter the earth
large enough to make me feel the smallest I could have ever felt.
enough to where i was in your hand, I was in the palm of your hand and you crushed me with every ounce of force you had.
I don't know how I escaped.
But I’m glad I did.

2 years apart yet
2 lines you gave me.
After two bottles
of heart that
incapacitated me.

2 people,
no more.
2 lives
tangled for
2 hours
and more.

There is water
in my chest.
It's taking a lot of space.
I'm afraid
that there won't be enough left.

I spent a week
feeling weird,
and drowning
in what seems like
nothing.

and then I spent a day
thinking,
along with a feeling,
that maybe nothing
was something...
but probably nothing.

But the next day
I stopped thinking
and feeling
and I decided not to care.

Sadly, we all know, that is quite dangerous.

I think I fell back into my addiction this week;
I woke up in the night
thinking of your voice.

I popped three this morning
and listened to your voicemail.

I couldn't help myself.

People say that when we experience the bad
we make a change so we can move on and forget about the past.
Well this piercing hurts like a bad bruise,
and I guess I only got it cuz I needed something new,

not related to you.

I should have noticed you were bad for me
when I kissed you
and you tasted like a bad cigarette.
And when I held you
instead of you holding me.
I should have known you wouldn't love me,
just by the look that you gave them.
I should have ran away from you,
instead of towards you
and crashing
into
you.