Fade.
I'll fade away from your memory.

Don't worry.
You barely even remember me now.

When we were five,
We met for the first time.
You both were always gloating about how you two were one day older than me.
We grew to be great friends
And for the first time in my life,
I felt like I belonged.
We promised that we would be there for each other.
The twins and me.
Always protecting each other.
Always helping each other.
Always saving each other.
Always together.

And now we are fifteen.
And both of you are gone.
A ghost that I can't bring back.
We always said that we would protect each other,
Yet I didn't protect either of you.
We always said that we would help each other,
Yet I never helped you.
We always said that we would save each other,
Yet I didn't save you,
We always said that we would be together,
Yet where are you now?

Now I am fifteen,
All alone in my own world,
Waiting for the day I will join you
And finally feel like I belong again.

I don't know what to say.
I can't speak,
You have taken all my words.
I can't find the words to describe you
And how you make me feel.

There is only one thing I can say:
               I love you.

Screaming
Crying
Help me, help me
No ones listening...

Words, thoughts
Tangled together in my mind,
Waiting for the one little push
That makes me fall off the edge.

I bled for you,
I gave into you,
I wanted to make you happy.
I have an evil soul
I can never be made whole.
No room for a savior.
No way for anyone to save me
Paint me a picture
Make the world look so much better.
There is so much that is not okay.
So much pain
Every mistaken day.
Make me feel
Something real
Little child, such kind eyes
Don’t listen to these lies
They try to take you.
They try to break you
Don’t listen.
I am broken.
I feel nothing inside.
Lie to me
Tell me everything is okay
Lie to me
Open my eyes to a perfect world.
Make it like
The pain was never there.
Abusive scars just disappear.
Make me feel human
Tell me something I want to hear
Cause right now I can’t survive.
Pretend to love me
Pretend to know me
Give me a friend
Give me a lover.
Give me one more reason to live.
The gun
Is awful close
I can taste
The copper against my tongue.
I can’t breathe
Are you listening?
If I say
‘’I love you”,
Would you stay?
I know I am ugly, I am garbage
Which is why I need just one friend.
Tell me everything is okay.
Make me feel again.
Please revive my soul.
I don’t care
If what you say is true
I just need to hear it.
Been so alone
I can hear the world mocking me.
Night after night
Day after day
Depression holds me at ransom
Taking all the joy I ever knew.
Romanticize me,
My life depends on it,
*My life depends on it