I envy those who are social
dancing around from person to person everyone seems to like you
you change your mask quicker then they can change their opinions
never letting anyone see your face
I envy you
and your ability to be loved

you don't understand what its like
to be afraid of a hello
because it might be something more
you cant comprehend the fear of a surprise
because that's how the get close enof to hurt you
and i envy you
your ability to look ford
because no one wants to stab your back
your smile chiseled in ivory
because you have no reason to be sad
and I envy you
or i did
until I became you

a rose
striped petal by petal
as people attempted to earn my love
they fell at my feat
unaware that I was covered with thorns poised to ****
I covered my body with plastic
so I could be fake enof for you
and I juggled masks
like a fool at a party
nothing more then entertainment

and I envy those so aren't social
covered in stone your heart is well protected
eyes closed you don't have to see the truth
mouths shut you can avoid the judgement
and I envy you

I don't want to open my mouth
to speak means Ive accepted that I want to talk to you
you who hurt me so bad
but i want to talk to you
and I just don't understand why
why would i speak
when all you do is sew my lips and remove my tough
brand me with your cruel jokes
all you do is make me feel bad
but your kiss
mends the bones you've shattered
and your touch
calms the tides of emotions you've evoked
so i don't want to open my mouth
but I want to talk to you

I can't breath around you
Because deep breaths fill my lungs with an aroma that overwhelms me
And because emotions that awaken because of you have taken a home within my heart and haven't made room for air yet

I can't stand around you
Because my knees quiver with thoughts of your face
My head drifts into your deep ocean eyes
And butterflies try to escape threw my thoughts and only come out in stutters

I can't think around you
Because the stories that are strung between your silk lips dance to the melody of my eardrums
leaving me in a confused state of awe

And I can't hold your hand
Because you fear they'll remove it
like were thieves at a market
And I can't kiss you
Because you fear creeping eyes
ready to sink their fangs into the rumors
And I can't say I love you
Because you fear the whisper
running around changing tales into reality within our piers

And we can never be together
Even though the people who matter
Stand ready with their broadswords
To fight the devils that follow us home
Even if their fire breath rains down like
missiles exploding at our feat
leaving burns Of the third degree
melting away our flesh
and exposing our bone
At Least they'll see that inside we are the same
But that doesn't matter to you
And if you never learn to care
I can't stand to be with you

People yawn
As they get swallowed up
By the coming tropic cascade-
The castles of the sea-
Of everything they
And all their ancestors
Have ever felt.

It proclaims nothing but itself,
They- them- they march
Through our towns like
Kinds, gods, destroyers.

They wash through our hearts
Like childhood
Young garden memories
And suburbs,
Vague houses.

We could never hold on,
And we hardly bow.

You’re safely unaware,
I can’t catch up,
It whirls my heart with it,
And takes it to the
Deep lavender east.

in this dark womb, it could be the center or it could be the skirt.
still glass case, nowhere else could work.
it pulled me back here.
meanwhile,
water from the forests falls into the air,
i feel it in my ancient throat.
i’m suspended.
rebirth.
bark peels, falls into wind like dead skin.
i am nothing.
slower.
i can hear again.
it doesn’t mean a thing
nor does it
not,
but
there is space.
hair blows slower like a heart.
heart catches in a slow web.
new nothing.
walk around the lake
don’t speak,
don’t even
see.

somehow i became a foreigner
amongst excess of imagination
and creation.


i like old things
like sunlight
ducks
mother and sadness.

bread.

lakes, lagoon, fog.

bones

warm skin
dreaming at afternoon.

somehow they return the fullness
not above or below
but vibrating in the current of things,
spirit sailing in the melancholy mist.


everything still in its right place
still, somehow
even though we're desarraigo

but no one really had a home

and home wasn't even us.
we breathed.

soft breaths rise from two shore birds
up into a wild land
and fall back into bed

it never became anything more.

poor mind.
suckling your dry mouth
innocent eyes
wanting but pried.
are you the last to know
that mother is dead?
a time has come,
my condolences,
when time will not
hold its ends
and it will be
far too grand
for you to tie up or pretend.
poor mind.
are you the last to know
not even earth holds you
underneath your feet.

Are the notches of my spine
The swirling staircase
Of your home?

Did you call up my vertebrae
To hear your echo
Rain down?

Did the walls of my skin
Make you feel
Not alone?

Did you see your reflection
In the ice
Of my bowels?

Did you know
I am sick with you
And need you out
I can see you
When you're looking
In me at yourself

everything is inside of me. i’ve found being.
what cannot be said but only heard
what cannot be touched but only felt.

here in a vacuum of loneliness
soul streaks sky
bleeds down my legs.

the mossy moon
and running red
pounding the atmosphere

but leaving only a whisper
among the weeds on the earth
that are very, very alive

we barely can hear you
and then we lose you
and then you’re there