The headphones go in. Sore Thumb begins.
I take a deep breath and get out of my car.
The guitar gently begins a pleasant melody
as my feet slide along the pavement.
A short walk, in both distance and time
but everything was still.

Eternity in a moment.

The drums join the guitar in perfect, unexpected cooperation,
my heartbeat and smile slightly augmented.
This is what we live for.
Sometimes we experience those moments that are without flaw,
so transitory yet frozen I nearly cry.
The skeletons of leaves scrape along the sidewalk.
A cold breeze sneaks under my sweater
giving me a chill that reminds me of the millions of nerves throughout my body.
I am alive, I am dead. I am all, I am none.
The vocals echo from a distant hallway.
Reminiscent, nostalgic, sentimental come to mind.
Rather than hear the soundtrack of my environment I imagine.
The vocals cut out and the song bursts into a colorful symphony.
With it bursts the deepest center of myself.
I arrive, my walk has come to an end
but I'll never forget that walk.

Conquered by the cause of confidence
Cluttered by the cost of distraction
Cut off by the clause of equal and opposite reaction
We endure
We Procrastinate
We suffer
We live on

Don't you love when
writing a poem seems
more like remembering
than creating

Plato said we never
actually learn something new
We only remember the forgotten

An idea easily dismissible
however...
sometimes this feels like
an accurate description of my experiences

Those clouds, about to burst with rain
                    remind me of something
Your smile, your frown
                   remind me of something
My idea of God
                    seems buried deep within me
That song, the emotions it evokes,
                    remind me of a time I can't remember
Her tears, those stains
                    seem vaguely familiar
His paintings, those cool, dark colors
                   make me feel at home
The way that proof glides along the lines of logic
                   reminds me of something intangible
The smell of homemade bread in the oven
                   reminds me of something inexpressible
That hurt you caused me
                   didn't come as a surprise
The contentment you gave me
                   didn't seem unprecedented

May your grace not be in vain

I will always remember

I changed my sheets today -
the ones that smelled like your cologne...
Actually, "tore them from my bed with the ferocity of Midas" may be more appropriate.
Because I couldn't stand to spend one more night pretending as if you were here -
or as if you were ever coming back.

I washed that shirt you wore
You know, my favorite one.
The same one I've slept in every night since you left
just praying to find some morsel of solace
to delay the impending insanity of sleep deprivation.
But just because I could smell you
didn't mean you were there...didn't mean you were real
and I almost started to wonder if you'd been here at all.

I didn't eat today
or the day before that, if I'm being honest.
Food has no taste, no pleasure
without you at the table, fork and knife in hand
ready to devour it - and me.

I went for a walk today
down the street to our favorite spot
and I didn't spend my time wishing you had your arm around me
or wishing you were holding my hand
or wishing that your warmth was pressed against me to help tame the goosebumps.
Or at least I tried not to.
But who am I kidding?

I met someone new today.
He smiled at me and said something forgettable..
then asked me to go to dinner with him next week
and there's nothing I'd like more than to say yes
but still...

After all this time
I know it's your face I would see staring back at me across that table
and your body I would wish for
lying next to me in bed.

Having a love is a magnificent feeling
Having a lover is a brilliant thought
Making room in your world for such beauty;
His soul

The truth comes out, as you are falling
love conquers all

You start to notice the small things
His eyes, so mysterious
His smile, draws you in
His laugh, paints a picture of the future
His touch, brings you somewhere, you never want to leave
His everything, is everything that you want

More than anything,
I love you
More than anything,
You are

My one and only
It's us against the world
He gives you a reason
To smile
To live
To love
He gives you a reason,
A reason to be

Yourself is all he wants, you are all he needs
no make up necessary, no styling of the hair
he will not judge you for your scars
nor your mistakes
Your past, it does not matter
Your future, in his eyes
He picks you up, into his arms
holds you closer than ever

“I love you more than anything,
more than the stars love to shine,
more than the sun loves to blind
more than the earth loves to give life,
I love you more than anything,
I love you, I love you and all of you”

Always.©

2013 - Miranda Mack-Jackson