I want to ride my bike there but I don't have one
and it's too cold to walk to the bridge
i would wait until spring but that's too far away
   what if no one shows up,what if no one cares
what if they're only shocked or say it's what they expected
what if someone thinks it's their fault?But it's no ones,not even yours. in a sense,it's the memories I suppose. I try to suppress  them but I can't and I'm awfully sorry,I really am.

I don't remember exactly what you look like or what your voice sounds like,and whether you're still nice I don't know- have you been drinking a lot? I hope not. I miss you a lot, I think about you a lot. I hope you're okay,everybody's got secrets, I wonder how deep yours are.

September 7th,2010 you don't remember but it's when you first saw me and you would look at me all the time and I would always wonder why
well **** it's January 1st 2014 and I've been writing some songs and stories and poems about you, I hope you don't mind
I asked you out a few years ago and you said no and then we talked after that but you don't remember that probably, well you said we could be friends and then you ******* blocked me
but a few months after that you liked my selfie and it made me feel pretty but then I deleted it for some unknown reason and it doesn't mean anything but I thought I should remind you
anyway back it up to 7th grade I really messed this whole thing up for us , I'm sorry. really thought we had something. thought the universe or god was trying to tell me something but I was making it up in my head
3 1/2 years strong, **** why is it always 3? crushes are supposed to
be gone in weeks, am I wrong?  
3 1/2 years later - have you forgotten me?

all love songs are the same you're so ******* important to me I'm so ******* lame
you're in love with her,wait what you're gay?great
you're eyes remind me of the sea but so does every other blue eyed living thing
and I've known you since 7th grade my parents were married for 23 years,dads getting remarried next week- time doesnt mean anything
I confess I love you but only in my dream cause like every other musician I'm not so brave I'm writing you love songs though you're still not listening anyway they all say the same thing I repeat myself as much as I cry myself to sleep so take a guess on how I feel
you don't care - for the 300th time you just don't care

where does it start and where does it end,haven't had a real friend for years haven't got any sympathy for anyone but me
they call me a narcassist they call me ugly they can call me whatever they want I'm not answering
he calls me to tell me to **** myself and she messages me acting like she knows me and that's just the way the world is soon it won't mean a thing were just 1 moment in a million,these people have no idea

their thoughts are not their own,***** doesn't it?
don't know what it's like for them
why bother to pretend?
they've been like that since the beginning but I don't know how long it's been

where does it start and where does it end,haven't had a real friend for years haven't got any sympathy for anyone but me
they call me a narcassist they call me ugly they can call me whatever they want I'm not answering
he calls me to tell me to **** myself and she messages me acting like she knows me and that's just the way the world is soon it won't mean a thing were just 1 moment in a million,these people have no idea

their thoughts are not their own,***** doesn't it?
don't know what it's like for them
why bother to pretend?
they've been like that since the beginning but I don't know how long it's been

sweet like Godiva chocolate
face for the cover of vogue mag
eyes like diamonds,when he cries angels die but he's an angel himself he's taking everything I've got

Football game Friday Night, I walked passed the tennis court one way and you walked the other way
the lights were on both of us that time,I almost forgot about this but I'm glad I remembered
I turned around to see if it was you stopping for a short time and you did the same and smiled
you were with your friend and I was with mine,I must have been high or something cause when you were out of sight I fell to floor crying and laughing
I wonder why that happened

you were right there,I was so nervous
should have said something,a single word
right next to me but you don't see,do you look away on purpose?do you really not see me?
pass you dozens of times,should bump in to you but you wouldn't mind
don't see you much anymore,I'm struggling but what else is expected?I'm on my own,no help.
what should I do to get noticed?you said shout your name; I'm yelling
you and I,you and I I'm yelling but the real problem is that you're blind
you don't see,I'm not shy now
I would say something,hi?
I'm right here,you're blind.Give you dozens of roses and you drop them on the floor cause I bumped in to you but you do not mind,you're a care-free guy who doesn't expect a dozen anythings but you can have it all,how else do I get noticed?

you parked your car in my driveway I didn't think you were ever coming home
but you drive a ******* now, this is hollywood boulevard
no wait my priorities are wrong, it's not about the money
so why did you come back honey?

The sun and the moon were too far apart for them to fall in true love. She, the sun, spent years trying to figure out a way for them to collide but never could find a way for the moon to be by her side
"The other tiny fires could be by the moon all the time so why can't I?" She thought
And finally she figured out why
All this time she didnt know the problem
She'd yell across the galaxy but he'd never show
He explained it wasn't safe for him, the tiny stars don't mean anything to him, but there much smaller, they don't do any harm
"I've got to stay here, I bring some countries light once you've gone- without me it's too dark - ill always be here" he said
"And ill always be here" she responded
And so they knew they'd always be in eachother lives, not side by side but they needed eachother to survive.

You walked into the room with plaid shorts and a white t-shirt I didn't know your name but I felt like I knew you before
You stared as I talked and I tried to look away but it's like there was some force, your blue eyes take my breath away
And I know it's wrong to like someone who doesn't like you back
And maybe I shouldn't be writing songs explaining how I feel cause you're not gonna wanna hear them
But just this one time Ill tell you how I felt on the first day in 7th grade when I saw you for the first time but I felt like I knew you before
Maybe in some alternative universe is where we met before. Maybe our love was so strong God wanted to see a second one
Maybe in that first one we were in a paradise but in this life it's more of a toxic poison slowly taking my life.

I wait and wait for the day your lips meet mine (If that day ever passes by)
The rain drops slide down my window and the leaves blow in autumn,everything has moved far by nature except you, you always stay exactly where you are.

I don't question anything
I wouldn't change anything about anything
I want everything that has to run its course run its course
I don't wish for sun when there's snow
I won't wish for warmth when it's cold, ill put on a coat.
I don't accept your opinion when it's different then mine but if we all believed the same thing there would be no variety and this world needs some variation
I don't like that there's  ****, shame, people giving out labels and names, people killing just to feel something
But I'm just a person who can't change anything (I'm sorry)
I don't like that people hurt themselves and cry every night cause I know what it's like but I can't lie and say it'll be alright. (Im sorry)
But look me in the eyes cause I'm going to tell you this- you don't need prince charmings kiss because Prince Charming doesn't exist (I'm sorry) . You don't need to be anything you don't want to because there's a reason you're the way you are, please accept this.
Im sure you won't agree, I expect this- this is just what I think (forgive me)

Dear __,
You're probably unaware but I was born in Russia. Say I'm delusional, crazy- whatever.
Here's some family history,my family. I don't remember his age but a little after 1962 a guy named joe came from Cuba to Queens,new York
A few years down the road he got married to a New York City girl
"But where do you come along" I know,I know.
He and his wife decided on this: adopt two kids
And where do they go for a boy and a girl? Russia in 96 and again 2 years forward.
And that's where I come in
From one to four I lived in New York, Rockville centre was my home.
From 4 to 15 and just 3 years more jersey shore is the place keeping me warm
So what I'm meaning to say is its crazy how destiny plays, cause who would have guessed any of this would have happened. Could have stayed with my real mom, or stayed in New York, how did I get where I was meant to be? Must be good luck.

A billion little stars and one BIG moon
I sit on the concrete waiting for you
Even with the bug bites,if you come sit by my side ill be alright.
Take my hand so we can fly around the universe on this hot July night
Come winter time I decide to go inside cause a shooting star I saw on a raining August night came back and shot me down (like you)
You're still not around, I was bound to have seen you by now
Skip to next July, lying on the concrete looking the stars above me
I'd make a wish but I don't think ill get that kiss so ill stick to this-
I hope the universe comes crashing down and you happen to be around when gravity pulls a billion stars and one BIG moon down
We both take too long to say something, that's when the world ends
Right then and there I see you walk down the street
You glance at me
Stars and the moon begin to surround me the last thing I think is what would have happened if I asked  you to kiss me

Wish I was in the sea far from home laying in the water all alone
Living without regrets, I'd surely learn a lesson then
If I was in the sea far from home all alone I'd be safer then at school with no one
Wouldn't have to worry about the next big test
Wouldn't have to want success
I'd have everything I need, just me and the sea
Far from past regrets, they'd all be history
I'd look into the sky,sun, night stars and reminisce  but that's be alright with me
My luck will keep getting better and a knight will come rescue me
Ill live with a knight under the sea

I want you to love me
But you love her, and she's not me
And I can't see how I could possibly get what I want this time
Maybe if I lie and say I'm alright you'll get the impression I'm really fine and fall in love with me
I remember the time she walked by and I could see your heart stop and you're beautiful eyes widen, you were so nervous to be near
It's nice to know you get how I feel.
But you love her and she's not me
i fear even if I lied straight through my teeth you wouldn't love me.

When you're down take a look out the window,I'm positive it's as sunny as it was before your pain
And your friends may never be there,you'll want to leave them- so go on and leave them. They won't care,will they?
And when they're out drinking at 14
And you're out succeeding at 16
Then you'll know it was better to live this way.

When I die I hope my soul stays alive, if I’m going to die I don’t want to leave everything the world has to show.
I want to die but I don’t want to stop knowing whats it’s like to be happy the night the snow falls or the rain, or forget the sound waves make all day
I guess when it’s time it’s time
But God please don’t make me say goodbye to the things I would truly miss cause I’m not the one who set myself up for disappointment like this.