I often exist
In woken dreams
Creating things
I'll never see

Living lives
That are only myths
Ignoring what
I'm living with

Tis better in
The fantasies
Reality's just
A broken dream

Touch me with your lips
Your desolate caresses
Bring silence
To my world


Build a utopia
With the lascivious
Flicks of your tongue
Whisper in my year
Things you'd never
Look me in the eyes
And say

Undress me with a gaze
Then meld fantasy with life
Wander and linger
Your fingertips
As you please

Standing before a cleaved road
Pondering the choice ahead
Trying to decide to forge a patch with you
Or to wander alone instead

Trying to solve the conflict
That sits within me now
Thinking about the things
I should have already figured out

It seems to make some sense
You and I together
But if I fall right now
I want to fall forever.

One of the things I Love
Is your kiss
Alluring, sweet,
Yet powerful.
Fiery, aggressive,
You kiss like You mean it

And even when it’s over
It’s not
You left something
An imprint
An impression
Of Yourself on me

You could knock me unconscious
You could stop my heart…
And start it up again
You could make every other moment
Simply slip away
With a kiss like that.

Distance means nothing
I can still feel year heart beat
As though you were lying next to me

Distance doesn’t change a thing
You’re still the love of my life
Still the only one for me

My heart will always be in the palm of your hand
Hold it gently.  I’ll see it again soon.

I Love You More
Sorry, it’s true
And I simply Love
Proving it to You

I Love You Stronger
Just understand
I’ll always remember
When I first took Your hand

I Love You Sweeter
Sorry, it’s a fact
And I never knew
I could Love like that

I want this song played
Someday.
When I dance with you
On a lonely floor.
Dressed all in white.
Smiling.
Just as I lift your veil.
Just as I meet your eyes.
Just as I kiss you.
I want that chorus to start.
Like it did when I fell in love.

“Cause every time we touch,
I get this feeling,
And every time we kiss,
I swear I can fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast?
I want this to last,
I need you by my side.
'Cause every time we touch,
I feel the static,
And every time we kiss,
I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so?
I can't let you go,
I want you in my life.”

I Love You More
Sorry, it’s true
And I simply Love
Proving it to You

I Love You Stronger
Just understand
I’ll always remember
When I first took Your hand

I Love You Sweeter
Sorry, it’s a fact
And I never knew
I could Love like that

You saw me
And you knew
That still amazes me

So young, yet
You took that first step
And held my hand
That still amazes me

You held on
For so long
Until I felt it to
That still amazes me

You were so scared
To touch, to kiss
Yet you trusted
That still amazes me

You’re everything I’ve wanted
Body and mind
Heart and soul
That still amazes me

You make me
A better person
Just by being yourself
That still amazes me

I am so lucky
To be with you
To hold you, to kiss you
You still amaze me.

I want to sit by a city window
At night

And stare out into the lights
With you

From the top floor of a darkened
Hotel

I want to wrap my arms
Around you

Rest my chin on your
Shoulder

Sigh and pull you
Closer

And simply sit as the lights
Twinkle

Into the heart of the city and
Never sleep.

So I went away again to school
Took my belongings and left You alone
Something that a good Man never should do
Make the kisses that we share together
Sometimes need to last for several days
But my strengthened heart beats ever onward
Harder, faster, for You, my Love, for You

It is an occurrence far too common
It should be a tired routine by now
The pain should be a familiar feeling
But it never gets easier to leave
I take that as proof, irrefutable
That this is something special that We have
You are the One I will forever Love

How sweet are the sounds of silent kisses?
The aura of Love, sensuously loud
And how are all of my lonely wishes
Answered in the honest eyes I see now
What difference that one person can make
You take my strife and push it all away
You’re like the sunbeams dancing on my lake
Warming my cold waters day after day
And I know this is something that will last
You are the only one that I can see
Who cares about the failures of my past,
Or the demons that are still haunting me?
I have You, that will always be enough.
You are the one I will forever Love.

What is it exactly, what does it mean?
To me, to You, to Our relationship.
Reliance on a person, by the book.
But, my dear, I Love You much more than books
Trust is my unwavering confidence,
My ability to give you my heart
And know, know without a doubt in the world

That it will always be safe with You, Babe.
And trust is knowing deep within myself
That even when in our darkest moments
And when the world has turned its back on You
You’ll turn your back on it, and turn to me.
I trust you’ll let me catch You when You fall.
Baby, I trust You Love me most of all

Someone told me fairy tales don’t exist
Then who keeps turning my pages
And why then, did our first kiss
Feel like my first kiss in ages?

Someone told me fairy tales don’t come true
That life just doesn’t work that way
What blissful fate brought me to You
And what makes me so sure today

Someone told me They Loved me once
And turned my teardrops into laughter
And then I knew my search was done
And we’ll live Happily Ever After

Some yearn for golden rays
A cooling breeze ruffling blades of grass
Myself, I like the bitter days
With drenched streets and gusty blasts

I like the stinging winds
And menacing cloudy skies
Those days that you’d best stay in
You can find me outside

There’s something about the bitter cold
And threatening rain, God only knows
All the better to have a hand to hold
All the better to hold You close

It not that I like being chilled
The winter is frigid enough
I like to add to the hours killed
Warming myself with Your Love

Some say that True Love is impossible
That Soulmates are simply too hard to find
And some say that dreamin on a Dream Girl
Is nothing but a waste of my time

Well some say long distance just doesn’t work
That the miles will tear Us apart
Some say I’m better off looking elsewhere
But I let the right Girl into my heart

Some would say that I’m a fool that’s dreaming
That I can’t possibly know You’re the one
Some say I’ll find someone better some day
But I know My Girl’s second to none

I’m not sure what they are saying now
Your loving words are all I want to hear
I found The One for the rest of my life
I promise I’ll always Love You my Dear

I think of You and I see the yellow
Of a raincoat, keeping me dry and warm
You’re good at that, wrapping around me tightly
Your arms like the weathered belt
Hands knotted across my stomach
And the rain-soaked hood
Lightly lapping at my cheek
Not unlike your kiss
The drawstrings tumble down
Like Your hair across my chest
But unlike the raincoat
Which will inevitably, ironically
Soak me when I go to take it off
You will always be my shelter
I could never hang You up.

My God rules with spite and hate
His book, a manual to enslave
Societies and free thinkers to a hellish fate
And those who spread the lies are saved

My God does, as Gods often do
Make some things right and some things wrong
My vision is clouded, I can’t see through
And with bigoted black and white we go along

My God scorns things unnatural
Our purpose is nothing more than to reproduce
There’s no place for the new or liberal
We don’t care about the progress, just the use.

There’s no room in *** for passion, only vulgarity
The vile combination of two to become one, and make one
Any other thoughts and My God verily
Condemns the monstrosity that we have become

My God rules with bigotry and hate
I share with Him the Aryan vision
Condemning the **** to their fiery fate
I am, and forever will be, a Good Christian

This is a place I’ve never been
A point with someone never traveled to
I’ve hit that wall over and again
But, finally, I’ve broken through with You

You’re like a never wandered path for me
With flowers growing all along the side
And I marvel at the beauty that I see
Taking my sweet time as I stroll by

This is a place I’ve never seen
I’m no longer walking scared
And I think Your Sweet Sixteen
Is a memory that’s best when shared

It’s certainly a birthday of significance
And yet it’s not the sixteen that makes it sweet
It’s that I’ve been given the blissful chance
To make You as happy as You make me

I want to be the one
Left behind without my kind

I want to be the one
That weathers the storm

The one with the umbrella
Raining above and raining under

I want to be the one
In black upon the hill

I want to be the one
Laying flowers

I want to be the one
Saddled with that burden

I can handle grief
But causing those to grieve
That I cannot handle
I want to be the last to go

To share with You, this great divide
And not to grieve at the miles
I want to hold You in my arms tonight
But I know that time will be a while

I could say that the dreams are better
But that defies intelligence
Nothing compares to when we lie together
The memories overshadowed by the sense

Every night I wish You here
Though here, You cannot be
Yet now I live without fear
That You’re so far away from me

This is a way of Love in Our rough season
This side of madness, the other side of reason

I never tire of being here
Having suppressed all of my childish fears
And I hate when I have to leave
I wish that I could never leave
But your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

My wounds are just starting to heal
So much pain I no longer feel
There's just so much Your Love has to erase

And I cried You’d wipe away all of my tears
When I’d scream You'd fight away all of my fears
And you’ll hold my hand through all of these years
You’ll always have
All of me

You still captivate me
By your resonating life
I'm bound by the thoughts you've put in my mind
Your face graces
My once fitful dreams
Your voice it chased away
The insanity in me

My wounds are starting to heal
So much pain I no longer feel
There's just so much Your Love has to erase

And I cried You’d wipe away all of my tears
When I’d scream You'd fight away all of my fears
And you’ll hold my hand through all of these years
You’ll always have
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself You’ll never leave
I’m sorry that I’ve been so weak
It took so long but now
I believe

Look into the crowd and see the smiles
There is genuine happiness abound
Now We stand here after all the miles
Bells are ringing.  Is there a sweeter sound?

Look at the flowers, effervescent reds
Contrasting with Your flowing pristine white
Your loveliness, it turns so many heads
Oh how lovely I’ll make You feel tonight

Look into my eyes, and see tears of bliss
See dreams that are finally coming true
I never thought that things could come to this
And yet with You, somehow I always knew

I whisper, from the bottom of my heart
In happiness, ‘til death do Us part.

In Your presence I am a solitary tree
That will not sag nor bend
Even when the night turns cold

You’ve remarked at how I always stand
Sometimes with laughter
Sometimes with something else
As your fingertips lazily trace my contours

Such a wonderful picture of intimacy
As your hand deftly wanders
Across my leaves

In Your presence I am a Solitary tree
Solitary, not lonely
Not unloved.

I could always see it in your eyes
Something I never saw before
Still it comes as a surprise
We’re not lonely anymore

I still remember when we first talked
A few hours it seemed would never end
It’s a path I thought I’d never walk
Yet a path I knew I’d walk again

For several years I hated time
Four years is just too much
Now I smile when you’re on my mind
And feel the tingle when we touch

And it comes as a surprise
Something finally went right
You are the sunrise in my skies
You are my comfort in the night

I paint
People are my canvas
And I paint

I cover up the imperfections
Caulk the cracks
And I paint

I paint
Purple circles
Lines of agony
And I paint

And I paint
Greys and browns
Against peach and tan
Striking red
Against pink
And I paint

Dark
And I paint

Every once in a while,
When I think of your smile,
My brain will compile
All the dreams that I had for you.

And then there are days,
When I think of the gaze,
And the lovely craze,
With which I saw you.

But so it would seem,
These thoughts stay in a dream,
And though I wanted to scream,
It’s just not going to happen.

But I thank you for your time,
Your inspiration to rhyme,
I love you as a friend,
And that, will never end.

There is a man
Sitting in the grassy buffer
Between the gas station
And the road
Watching the busy intersection
I wonder what he sees
As car after car rushes through
I wonder what he's looking for
As we all pass him by
He looks kind of odd
Sitting there alone
I think he's the one who's
Got it all figured out

I’ve been swaying in the wind
On this lonely swing
Like I’ll never reach the shore again
Like I’ll never reach, anything

My hand’s been slippin off this knot
And it burns so much
And I’ve been givin all I’ve got
But it’s not enough

Chorus:
I’m jumping in
I’m letting go
I don’t want to hang here no more
I lost my grip
And I’m falling fast
Just promise me that this will last

I can feel myself sliding down
Towards You My Dear
And I’ll tell You know, I don’t know why
I’m still hanging here

Chorus:
I’m jumping in
I’m letting go
I don’t want to hang here no more
I lost my grip
And I’m falling fast
Just promise me that this will last

I promise Babe, to immerse myself
In Your Love
And I’ll turn to You when I need help
You’re enough

Chorus:
I’m jumping in
I’m letting go
I don’t want to hang here no more
I lost my grip
And I’m falling fast
Just promise me that this will last

Friend,
You’ll be there in the end
You’ve been as patient as can be
You withstood my constant babbling
Bizarre comments and insane rambling
You’ve always been my councilor
On situations I haven’t seen before
You’ve turned me straight, helped me get the things I’m after
And turned my sorrow into laughter
You’ve helped me out, given me order
Been my critic and my supporter
You’ve helped my mentality when it’s on the mend
Friend

I miss the time
Playing poker late at night
With my friends
Hoping the cards would shuffle
In my favor
So I'd have a little extra
To treat you
At the amusement park
The next day

You’ve known Her far longer
I confess I am a little jealous
And you might think that makes your bond stronger
But let’s not get over zealous

You get to spend so much more time with Her than I
Every waking minute if you really wanted to
I know how you’ve shaped the Girl that I call mine
And I’ll never love Her like you do

But know, You’ll never Love her like I do

Cacophony and oblivion
Sounds, “music”
And I use the term loosely
Is all you will ever find here
The last vestiges of melody
Being attacked, killed
Any lyric, rhythm
Evanesces.

Ready your soap
Your water
Your ears are about to be
Polluted
Your head
Invaded, trashed.
Any thought left for dead.

And all we are
Are Noise Machines
And all we’ll ever find
Are Noise Machines

Winter and death
Are supposed to go hand in hand
Crumbling brown leaves
Scattered around barren trees
And the days evanesce
Colder, shorter, darker
But the snow brightens the night
Every vestige of light reflecting skyward

Winter is indicative of change
A monochrome contrast to fall
An ending of a year
But all that crosses my mind
Is me, you, a blanket and a fire

And what comforts me
Is the pillar of certainty
Amongst the chaos
It’s disturbing
How quickly things fade away
But what comforts me
Is that my Love for You never will

And every snow flake that falls
Reminds me of how I fell for You
And every darkened night
Your arms or Your voice will hold me tight
Every cold shudder
Will be met with Your warming touch

And what comforts me.
Is Your Pillar of Certainty

I could spend all day
Enraptured in Your body
Never growing weary
Of Your tantalizing curves
Trace with my fingers
The delightful soft contours
Trace with my fingers
Everything

I could spend all day
Returning Your smile
My eyes never straying
From your Loving gaze
Feel with my lips
Your everlasting warmth
Feel with my lips
Everything

It seems like forever
Yet only a year has passed

You and I
Continue to be
A blissful
Truth

An unstoppable force
Inseparable parts
Of one
Whole

How remarkable
How incredible
So this is how happy feels

No longer do I worry
Will You be here tomorrow?

No longer will I reach for your hand
And ever be uncertain again

No longer do I smile at the thought
I smile at the reality
So this is how happy feels

I don’t have to dream about Loving You
Because I really do
(Though I still dream anyways)
You’re that special

It’s unreal
(The good kind)
So…
This is how happy feels

Samantha, parted from me and never parted
Never and always, touching and touched
I seek never to finish what we so eagerly started
Laying yet standing, looking not seeing
One after the other, crying and agreeing
Covered in snow through sunny skies
Happily while a weak bond dies
And our time together is long but fleeting
Ours is all I can imagine being
I wish to be closed off, so clearly unguarded
Time with You always and never enough
Samantha, parted from me and never parted.

Just when you think it has ended
And people have matured
You’re ready to have all the fractures mended
But another infraction occurs

Four, Sixteen, Twenty
Some think it’s too much
And some think it’s simply plenty
Well I don’t give a ****.

Some are still just part of the flock
Letting the herd dictate their life
And I had honestly thought I’d stopped
Having to deal with that kind of strife.

Who are you to think you know better
Keeping things between the lines
Following arbitrary rules to the letter
So refined?  No, so confined.

Who do you think you are
Trying to put me on trial
Well you won’t get very far
Sieg heil! Sieg heil!

Love is a phone call
Lasting Five seconds
And three words

Love is a fight
Devoid of fear
Because I know
It’s there.

Love is
Hours spent
In your arms
That never feel like enough

Love is spontaneity
A weekend
I didn’t expect to be home,
More time with You

Love is peaceful moments
Watching You play solitaire
Kissing your cheek

Love is hands wandering
Mischievous smiles
Gasps and pleasured sighs

Love is everlasting
And constantly on my mind
Even when You’re busy
And I’m far away

Love is just as meaningful
When I say it now
As the day I said it first
I Love You Samantha
And I always will
Happy One Year

When I see your letters
Scarlett or otherwise
I can’t help but think
Of Hester Pryne
Marked, and tarnished
The same way I see you

They tell me
To avoid at all costs
The refuse of humanity
Wears these letters
Not A for Adulterer
Maybe ΔΡ for Date ******
ΣΔ, Excessive Drinker?
I don’t know
And I don’t intend on finding out.

Crooked chair, leaning forwards,
As though I’m not supposed to be sitting;
Trying to lurch me to my feet
And push me onward.
Maybe I just want to sit for a while,
Maybe I’ll try the floor.

I like cats
They’re perfectly content to be watched
Not spoken to
Admired, occasionally played with
Curiously intelligent
The same look
And a thousand expressions
They’re the best kind of company
Quiet, but pointy.

Utterly transfixed
On some spec of dust
As though it bore all the significance in the world
Sometimes
they
plod,
Sometimes dart for no reason.
Noisy and pointy.

Sonnets and ballads
Same length sentences
And blocky form
Used to describe you
Is like creating the Sistine Chapel
With paint by numbers

You fit no form, no pentameter
And while hips rhymes with lips
And yours are gorgeous
There no rhyme nor reason to Love

Sonnets and ballads are beautiful
In the way any SoCal girl is
Bleached blonds with big *****
Fit the paper definition of beauty
But paper wilts and crumbles
My Woman Stands strong
They can have their silicone, their plastic
Because when we touch, I feel something real

Remember I Love You, I whisper
Like You needed the reminder
But the smile tells me
The words hit home

And as meaningful as words can be
When we’re together
It’s the absence of them that’s beautiful
Lips are for kissing
Touches and caresses
And looks and smiles
Are what tell You
I Love You

Sonnets and ballads
Same length sentences
And blocky form
Used to describe you
Is like creating the Sistine Chapel
With paint by numbers

You fit no form, no pentameter
And while hips rhymes with lips
And yours are gorgeous
There no rhyme nor reason to Love

Sonnets and ballads are beautiful
In the way any SoCal girl is
Bleached blonds with big *****
Fit the paper definition of beauty
But paper wilts and crumbles
My Woman Stands strong
They can have their silicone, their plastic
Because when we touch, I feel something real

Remember I Love You, I whisper
Like You needed the reminder
But the smile tells me
The words hit home

And as meaningful as words can be
When we’re together
It’s the absence of them that’s beautiful
Lips are for kissing
Touches and caresses
And looks and smiles
Are what tell You
I Love You

How is a ****
Pin-up model
Any different than
Some Renaissance painting
Yet one is a vulgarity
And one is art

Human beings have both
A fascination with eroticism
And some sort of moral obligation
To censor themselves from it

I have been forced to conclude
That the stark reality of the photography
Frightens people
They want to hide
In their catholicized self-made world

I have been forced to conclude
These people are morally weak
(Those that cover the model)
Unable to stow away
Fantasy for Reality
They cannot differentiate
Between their lover and the model
Their mind pursues the physical
Ignoring the romantic

They starve themselves
From such images
Because they cannot
Overcome such lust

While those of true strength
Can view the ******
In all its artistic
And pornographic qualities,
See the physical perfection
And imprint upon it
A mental perfection
Yet turn their backs
On the illusion
While others
Simply shun one illusion
For another.

I have been one acquainted with the night
Moving quickly with unencumbered ease
Through a cooling darkened breeze
Drawing drapes, eluding light
I am one acquainted with the night

I have been one acquainted with the chill
That an October morning brings
With whispered imaginings
Of wine, a blanket and a hill
I am one acquainted with the chill

Barren days and shadowed hours
Make the masses evanesce
Yet no less shared nor picturesque
For they shall remain forever ours
We shall be ones acquainted with the night

Ever see someone and be blown away
Even though it’s a year, a month and several days
Since the one she first said yes?

Yet I sit here, heart beating no less
Faster and harder
When all of a sudden things
Have gone better and farther
Than the heights I thought I’d reach
But what’s stunning is I’ve so much more to learn
And You have so much more to teach
When our eyes lock in that gaze
Your Love envelopes me
And avoids the clichés
Never did I think my demons could be disbanded
Or know that I could have so much
While still being empty handed
But not empty hearted
While it’s amazing that we’ve only just started
And I often look ahead
There’s no where I’d rather be
Than right here, right now
In this bed.

I was looking at the rain
Thinking of You
Thinking of women
And I could only see the rain
Where the pine tree stood as a backdrop

And women now are like the rain
Invisible, but for that one
Where there’s some depth
Something behind the beauty
And that my dear
Is where you come in

In school we learn to be
Not intuitive nor ambitious
Or creative even
In school we learn to take
Not the path with the
Most vibrant colors
But the flattest one.
College is charged
With the castration of young minds
And too often we forget
Just what is left behind
Do I want to write this essay
On the interesting or the easy

Hours and days sped by
Never stopping to linger
For a few blessed moments
A week and a few weekends
That were barely there
A little bit of growing up
And a lot of life
And the same difficulties
That I’ve always faced
And that we’ll face
Time and time again