Eyes filled with the poetry of a thousand discrete looks
Lips with the softest pink embrace
Teeth whose white glow mirrored my own
Hair whose tumbling strands each revealed a secret beauty
Never seen before and never to be seen again
Only to be succeeded by new consecutive beauties
Changing the beauty of the whole
My feelings are constant yet
Wonderment when I glance
Beatitude when she speaks

Death, not content with nature's way
Created man, a creature of his own design
A creature standing above all
A mirror of death

From lips now pale
Had come smiles and kisses and words
From eyes now blank
Had come looks of love or dedication
To ears now deafened
Had come cries of joy and pain and consummate pleasure
To a nose now dull
Had wafted aromas of love
To skin now cold
Had come caresses and touches and playful demeanor
From hands now limp
Had come tender gestures and proof of affection
From a heart that beats no more
Had come love the likes of which all wish they could receive
Where once there was
Will be no more

The head rolled into his lap

As if the Almighty did not feel his sufferance was great enough
Little can surpass the death of a friend
Still less can surpass it
When he stood and was seen
And in an instant disappeared
Leaving but a cloud
And a head in his lap

The head rolled into his lap

He now could feel
The face he had known
A face prone to smiles
Although never in this crestfallen country
But who had smiled nonetheless
He felt the cheeks still warm and saw the eyes now blank
He observed
At first recognizing his friend
Suddenly realizing death had overcome him
And taken his body to wherever the dead go
To the empty, dark abyss of atheism
Or the magnificent rewards of the gods of yore

The head rolled into his lap

In the theft of his friend
Death had not only robbed him of joy
It had branded his mind
With the horror
Of all the suffering the wretched world could possibly throw at him
Including his friend's head
Which rolled
Into his lap

The one thing that comes to us all
The one place we all go
The one we always try to cheat
But lose to nonetheless
The ultimate equalizer
Taking emperors and peasants alike
Yet on some, death bears down much too soon
Because only of hardships and torture
That has been inflicted by our own kinsmen
Pushing the breaking point of the spirit
Crushing all hope of a better, if any, future
Shoved to making the choice of harming oneself
Because of the idiocy of others
Ignorant fools who look down on others with contempt and hate
Since they do not match the conventions they made for themselves
And with jealousy at their ease of happiness
Making sure to crush them and their joy so as to assure they become as miserable as the others are
Deep in their hearts
All this leading to the culminating moment of pain
When it is no longer tolerable
And all the eyes see is death
Death, my friend
Death, my savior
Death, my hope
Death, my mercy
Death, my deliverance
Come to me, death
Give me my wings to go to somewhere better
This pain cannot be better than death
Death is quick, and ends all
Life is long, and ever-suffering
This is not how you must leave
This is not a fitting end to such a bright person
With such a loving heart
So give yourself a chance to a fitting end
And find an ear cocked to listen
Explain, relate
Even just in whispers
Let the demons come out as the words you speak and stay with us
In life

To Evan - I didn't know you very well but what I did know was someone worth being here now

It is said
'Used eyes fail to see'
They do not look upon beauty
They look through it
Always seen, never noticed
I do not wish to, nor will I ever
Be used to you
Your effervescent beauty
Is ever-changing
And even more stunning every time I see you
I will remind you every day
Just how beautiful you are
Because your beauty
Is one that deserves to be noticed

Your eyes
Two emeralds set in gold
With an ethereal allure
Two glowing gems
In a sea of perfection
Inconceivably pretty
Even by the highest of standards
None could ever fathom
The beauty held within

Her eyes
Have the simple beauty
Of a blue mountain flower
Yet they ensnare me
Like the azure sky
Always beaming
Radiating her joy
Shimmering as the blue Pacific
Complimenting her already flawless features
I could gaze at these all day
And ponder about the person behind them
But I am not afforded that luxury
I must glance from afar
Hoping that one day
They may look at me
As I do at them

I have finally found
Something without comparison
The most beautiful eyes
These eyes, have ever seen
Of such a green
As to make the rainforests jealous
And the most luscious of trees
Desire their beauty
And profoundness of expression
Gazing at the very thing that desires them
And imbuing everywhere they go
With that mystical green light

Spring is truly springing
The ice has melt
The river flows
The trees are lush
The blossoms here
The purple lavender
The yellow daffodil
The red rose
The white tulip
All have come
Cause winter's done
The clouds have cleared
The sun shines on
The girls are out
Their skin as well
With dresses galore
Showing all their beauty

Her face lights up
Red from the chill
The smile shows up
To brighten the rest
Rudolph with red cheeks
Snow on a sunny day
Come together on a flawless base
To make a perfectly beautiful face
And when the redness disappears
None of the charm shall be lost
There's nothing to lose, there is no cost
My eyes see one thing
A ravishing little face

I just want to live a sheltered little life
No need to experience the horrors of this world
I've seen enough and heard enough and felt enough
There is no need to live it for myself
I can weep and rage and whimper for all the time in the world and yet nothing still will change
If I could cry an ocean of tears for all eternity
In the name of all the things that have happened to people and all that people have done
I would
But I can't
There's only so much a person of great sympathy can take
Of watching another's suffering
And so I shall weep in the silence of death and hurt
As long as I live
For all who have lived and died of immense sorrow
But I will live my sheltered little life
And try not to immerse myself in their suffering
If I did this would lead me to so many other souls
Through the porcelain of life and to the doors of death
And so I shall live my perfect little lie
And none shall notice
Living in this world of deceit

As long as there are dreams of the future
There is hope
As long as there are imaginings of the future
There is hope
As long as one does not fail do hold something dear
There is hope
Even when the sweet kiss of death seems the only deliverance
If there is thought that goes ahead
There is hope

They called it the war to end all wars
But then came another
And another
And another
Our hope acted as blinders
Ignoring Mankind's stupidity
And the persistence of a wounded and humiliated man
To seek revenge
And devise cruel ways to exact his twisted agenda
Optimism took over in place of realism
The world chose to look away
Until it was all the world could see
People hid and fled
From locked rooms came hissing, and not dripping
From fields and buildings came loud cracks and bright fires
Instead of birds chirping and bright smiles
Robbed of their life, people were put in ghettos
Robbed of a loved one, people wept
All this suffering
With cause an unfair punishment
Given for choosing a side

I wish there were no mirrors
That everything was matte
So there was nothing
To judge yourself against
Society's distorted, distended, sad
Idea of perfection
Being perfect is being unique
Not your conformity to specific standards and qualifications
Trying to tailor yourself
To an i and foolish mold
Forced onto us from childhood
You are perfect as you are
And anyone who says otherwise
Is a fool not to love you

I kept running lest I die with her
The maw of death snapping at my feet
As it engulfed all behind
And took poor little sister
I could have helped
But I kept running
I had to tell our story
So the world could hear us weeping
And none who brought forth blood
And took children and mothers and fathers
So none may ever leave us without
Hearing our voices screaming
YOU TOOK THEM!
YOU TOOK THEM AND YOU CAN NEVER BRING THEM BACK!
So none shall die peacefully surrounded by family
For they did not give that same courtesy to us

With the depth of a thousand rivers
None so deep as you walk this earth
None shall ever
For there is no comparison
To your coat of coal and ebony
Riddled with shining veins of gold
Peerless
Forever walking above
Because of your undeniable attraction
Your immeasurable charisma and charm
Your immense grace
Even more than is the norm for you
Deep as a thousand rivers
May you always run
But never as deep as tomorrow

I wrote this for a cat...

One life lost many lives taken
All in the name of our holy protector
Down down down they go
As I go on up for my good deed
But of course they do not see it so
They cannot because they do not have the same eyes as me
They have not seen the truth of our holy protector
And they never will be able to see him like me
They must be punished for all their crimes
It is impossible for them to change
They are too steeped in the sin and filth of their imagined god
They cannot be cleansed
Their very essence is swine
They must pay the ultimate toll
So that I may pass free
To a place absent of such blasphemers and liars
But I hold someone very dear
Mustn't they too?
I love
Mustn't they too?
Yes...
But they can never love him who they are supposed to
So I must take them away from their very closest
And the ones they love
To understand the depth of their mistakes

If only you could see how beautiful the world is
You wouldn't care about all these awful people
I like to look to the sky and see something bigger than me
It's bigger but it looks so small
Just big enough not to be overwhelmed
By all your little beauty
But you can't decide
You're wanderers and from you I've learned to wander
From you came the wanderlust
And from you came the hope
The hope to be like you
You don't go at each other
Sometimes you bump
Sometimes you die
But you don't mind
Peace at its finest
The dalai would be proud
You move very much in all your peace
Just like little working ants move around the ground
You move around your ever-reaching canvas of ebony
Tiny little incandescent ant
Tiny tiny shiny ant
My little glowing ants moving across the sky
I wish I could lose myself in you
Become one of you and know of your little hidden treasures
Could you come in my pocket?
Just a few
Just imagine what good I could do
With a pocketful of bliss and magical wonder
I would help anyone who's ever been down
But we will need more than one pocket
Flock to me my iridescent ants!
Lets make sure when we reach you, we reach you happy

A smile
One so hard to extricate
Yet escaped it has
Showing its wonderful self
For many and all to admire
For many and all to desire
I hope it will stay

Small marvels burst forth!
From your home, Perseus
Ten thousand bursts of incandescence
Streaking through a pitch black canvas
Meeting their immobile brethren
For but a moment
Their tails welding the spots
Chaining their beauty together
Making a millisecond masterpiece
As it pursues it's dance across the sky
Creating many more
Before it fades
Into the dark from which it burst
After finding new horizons
And having enamored all
It rains down
Spread out as many
Through our observing eyes
Directly to our hearts

Small worlds apart
Bonds formed of mutual love
An instant of joy
A life of longing
You cried me a river
I hugged it away
You'll stay forever with me
1111 Ronville Road
Home

I can still remember her eyes
The way they shimmered in the lakeside sunlight
Sparkling beautifully in conversation
I'll always remember them
As equal to none

I can still remember
Her magnificent smile
Strong with cheer
Filled with laughter
Growing often from her lips
But fading towards the end

I can still remember her touch
Gentle and forgiving
Loving with every touch
Through every fingertip
Only to stop so abruptly
Leaving me longing

A collection of teeth
You so proudly display
Whenever your heart desires
Whenever it is content
Framed by beautiful lips
And only surpassed by your eyes
Like tiny ring-shaped meadows
More majestic than the plateaus of Ireland
As your hair waterfalls around your face
Streaming down as a contour
Rays of blonde flicker through a forest of walnut
Although my love is great and friendly
With better eyes than mine you should be admired
From one with a worthier soul  should come desire
A bow, a welcome to a better man
So I leave you, my love, for worthier souls

Consider these adjectives
Wonderful
Beautiful
Gorgeous
Flawless
Magnificent
With­out compare
Do you know what you are?
All of the above

Times come
Times pass
In which I would like to be lost in the stars
Look up, one sweet summer night
Close my eyes and recreate the darkness that envelops the sky
Peppered with stars
Cease to exist within this realm and soar to join my eternal fiery friends
There seems to be nothing more peaceful
Than being of true, everlasting beauty and filling hearts with wonder
To you my friends
So that I might know true bliss
From being in the presence
Of the giants who make my heart content

Why can I not be loved?
Is so simple an emotion so hard to beget?
The reason for love is the complex part
But to feel love in your very core
As deep as your being possibly goes
Throughout your heart
Down to your toes
Is a universal feeling
To be loved is twice as good

I don't think I've seen
So perfect a night
There's just never been
Such a beauteous sight

A bright vein of blue
Chased by the snap of the sky
All cycling through
As the heavens cry

The rain's song
Quiet as a whisper
Soothing and long
Aids the sleep seeker

Out this land and far away
The dreamer seeks
What many say
Is the truest form of earthly bliss

So he flies, and so he soars
While the skies burst with light
He glides right up to heaven's door
But is brought down by his earthly plight

What is this doubt I feel?
Arising like morning mist from a cool night passed
I call into question
My once sure endeavor
There is a crack in the foundation I once thought solid
I have begun to doubt
Like water seeping through the crack
I've laid waste and shattered the foundation
The belief I held most dear
Now slips from my mind
Floats away and fades into the distance

The formulaic mist of several aromas
Both sweet and strong
Hovers within the space
Asphyxiating and amalgamating every new smell encountered
Sanctioning an intoxicating bevy of delicious sensations

In the face of all the atrocities we commit
What is there to do but to keep on with our lonely existence
In the hopes that one day
In no near future of this world
We will clean our house
Master our urges
Know all before we tamper
And leave this plane
For the next to come to know:
We have stumbled
We have fallen
But you must not
We are beyond hope
But learn and you shall triumph
See our mistakes and condescend
If you do it means you have done better
That is all I ask
I have faith you will provide

The enchanting light of early winter
Where the last of gifts
Of the great life-giving sphere inhabiting our solar system
Reach our humbled eyes
To say : Farewell.
The winter will be long and cold without us
But we will wait
With welcoming embrace
For the time you may return
To bask beneath our glory
Green, hope and joy will return
At the turning tide of spring
And we hope you will as well
But for now, farewell

Occasionally one may feel fear's fast grip
But let us not be governed by its restrictive embrace
So the fear of death may not control our actions
May the fear of living never penetrate  our minds,
And depart from whoever's in which it resides
Let the fear of our temporary state scare us not
Let the fear of the uncertainty of our tomorrow govern us not
Rather, let it's constant ******* at our heel motivate us
Motivate us to believe in the abilities we have,
And to learn new ones as well
Motivate us to reach heights inconceivable to those whose minds and hearts have not been freed
Heights which only a man freed may attain
A man freed of the darkness that inhabits everyone's soul
Freed of the fear of the unknowable nature of our futures that consumes us all
Embracing that fear so he can transcend death,
And be remembered beyond the many years he will grace this earth
Remembered for the heights he reached
Remembered for the people he chose to lead up to join him
Because he did not succumb to the malice of condescension
But was a Sherpa to the uninitiated
Giving these freed minds a new perspective
That they may soar to unimagined places
To which they will lead him and us in train
Perpetuating the chain of incredible events
Till we can finally reach our Elysian dreams
Started, not by a people of untold knowledge and wealth,
But by the one who decided to live without fear

What should one issue if not love?
What purpose is there to bringing more hatred and bigotry
Into this already saturated world
That has jaded me
Made a cynic of me
A cynic who is hiding under the cloak of realism
How does disrespect figure into the delicate symmetry that is our lives?
It does not
It cannot
I will not allow it
Neither should any with reason enough to act
But these acts should not be met with further retaliation
If we use the tactics of the enemy do we not become the enemy
Pacification is our hireling
And we must employ it wisely
For if we do
The world may yet begin to surprise me

The 26 that heeded,
Heeded the call of duty
All friends of a childhood too quick passed
Embarking on the journey so well lied about
Thinking nothing of the impending sorrow that loomed
Wherever one must bring a gun to feel any sort of safety

Of the brave but foolish 26
There is one with the most ill of luck
Taken from the barren in which he sleeps
Thrown to a strange and unknown place
Amidst the land stranger still to him
Tortured in all the ways those human thieves could imagine
Thieves of joy and joie de vivre
Thieves of friends and thieves of love
Thieves who tortured
In all ways permitted
By the condition of sparing his life
Not the least of which
A coffin of wire
With points sharp as needles
From which he thought he would never escape
Yet he left it still as one
But with cuts up and down
Like little post-it notes
Reminding and perpetuating all of his agony

Thieves that took his joy
And gave him 25 more reasons
For which his joy was gone
25 pieces of evidence
Proving the lie he was told
25 lost friendships
That never made it to manhood
25 families robbed
An instant of love, now a life of longing
25 memories
Stopped abruptly
But mostly,
25 friends

He may nurture 25 new memories and friendships and people
But none will ever be
The 25 that stayed,
None will ever know the pain
Of the one that returned

If I only could cry
That rain of sadness
That most do not wish on themselves
Is my one unachievable goal
It does not serve to sublimate my heart
It's chill is so that it freezes them in before they may leave
Shot on their path before they can cross
They band together to stay the warmth
Accumulating in quantities unimaginable
Trapped in the deathly cold
Of my cruel mind's vice
Keeping faith
When the warmth comes true
And envelops the whole
Fly they will onto the ground
No hindrance will block
No longer will my eyelids bar them from their freedom
And stop them feeling the only thought they could ever
Happiness because of their imprisoned jailer's release

You had left
You were sorely missed
And even upon your return
Some still missed you
For you had returned not as yourself
But as a butterfly done with metamorphosis
Borne of a crysallis of pain
Formed into a butterfly of superfluous acts
Still there remained all we had loved
The depth had not been filled by sands of darkness
But with sorrowful sand
Letting tears shed stain your path
And causing more
For the ones knowing of your heart
Feeling almost as sad
Never has there been such sadness
Nor on a widow's night
Or a young loss
All of it encompassed in one person
Spreading from mouth
Encompassing all the near
While all the near would like to see you happy

The real gold
Doesn't come cheap
The real gold
Couldn't be harder to find
The real gold
Is what you choose it to be
The real gold
Is neither normal nor weird
The real gold
Is within
The real gold
Has to be dug up
The real gold
Is found with trust built up
The real gold
Rarely lies
The real gold
Tells all
The real gold
Has no shame
The real gold
Seldom hides
The real gold
Still cries
The real gold
Yet wakes up in happiness
The real gold
Does not need loving to show love
The real gold
Remain friends
The real gold
Is a pillar
The real gold
Destroys none
The real gold
Creates many
The real gold
After a lifetime achieved
Or found on first glance
May it stay

Please
Before you go hug your shiny metal friends
That see everything in red
Please just listen to me the whole way through
No need to sit palms facing down
No need for long sleeves year-round
No need for shame
I'm not one of them
One of the many who ridicule
Who wonder how a human being could stoop so low as to harm him or her self
Who would so ignorantly think of you with disgust
Who sees with blinders the lines of flesh on your wrists
And takes no care to look past them
To see the rest of your beautiful heart
Through the mist and darkness of your worst facet
And part of the pain you inflict on yourself
Is not done with the sharpest piece of steel
But with an even sharper tongue
Which your ears are devoted to hearing
And your eyes have cataracts of sadness
Blocking all the light but reveling in the darkness
I may not understand your pain
But nevertheless I understand
That as it pours out
Warm and red
So does the pain
Yet the pain is just an illusion
To be countered with all the good that surrounds and is within us
Put down the blades and let time and my kindness and the kindness of others who are just within your reach
Let it heal the wounds and let it make you see the joy that is already there
But which your perpetual depression masks behind a veil of gloom

Sweet sweet innocence
Bygone and lost
Forever errant in the dark labyrinth of a corrupted mind
A firebomb
The glass shatters as the innocence
The fire spreads throughout
Like the darkness that spreads through the heart
Snuffing out the flame that thought the world good
If too fast
It snuffs out all other light
Leaving only darkness to be perceived yet not seen
A spot of light, hope need only be seen to make believe
That the world is not darkness entire
But some cannot
By some misfortune they look away instead of towards
And they plunge deeper and deeper
Until they take the final dive
Into the eternal, impenetrable dark from which there is no return
There will they lie
Forevermore in peace and at rest

How lifeless must feel
One who does not dream
He must have sadness
Rooted in his soul
He must bear ill will towards his mind
For not frolicking the verdant fields of imagination
Whilst in sleep
The most wonderful time of rest
With no impossibilities
A few nights every month
He must be dull from having to live in the world of the possible
Never tasting the bliss of the fantastical
He is made all the more bitter by having had a taste of it
Before it was so cruelly stripped from him

Once, as a boy he had a dream
He was soaring through the skies
Faster than sound
Rockets strapped to his shoes
He could go where he pleased, as he pleased
It was amazing
Even as he woke his spirits were high
He had not been constrained by the laws of the physical world
And that dream had been beautiful
However, that had only made him even more bitter

It is so cruel to have one taste heaven only to be sent to hell
And every time he woke
Dreamless
He grew dark and resentful
Blaming the world because he had nothing else to blame
He sunk to a pitiful place
Where joy and wonder
Were a very rare occurrence
And he hoped very deeply
Just once
That before he died he could have one last dream

What is it like not to see?
I can imagine the darkness
Partial or complete
But what of everything else?
Would touching of the skin in the throngs of passion
Fill you with even more ecstasy
Would it help paint a picture in the mind
Seeing through the fingertips
Brushing metal bumps
Seeing Henley
Being like him, unconquered

How must it feel to inhale
And smell every delicate scent
Or every putrid odor
The sweet aroma of fresh lavender
The putrid stench of a dark alleyway
A blessing and a curse

Sometimes, it is said that you hear better when you cannot see
You are keener to the sounds that surround you
It makes me wonder
How blissfully amazing it must be to hear Beethoven's ninth in its full glory
Uninterrupted by the distractions of sight
Hearing every note as if the orchestra was in your ears

Blindness is a condition I do not wish on anyone
Yet it would truly be splendid
Could we appreciate
The magnificence that surrounds us
As does someone who has lost something so dear as his sight

To Maria

The arduous path back from
The chasm of sadness surnamed depression
Is oft broken and turns at a whim
We must take care not to falter at a fork
Lest we go back the way we came
I wish that chasm to remain unknown
To friend, to foe and to love alike
Gone is the masquerade of showing teeth
No longer must we hide within ourselves
Letting the world see only a smile
To keep them from worry

Gone is the masquerade of showing teeth
As long as we smile we cannot climb out
Gone is the masquerade of showing teeth
When the strength leaves our body
The smile comes to our face
Only once we take it back do we have the strength to do anything other

But once you have been lifted
Lifted you must remain
And ascend you must
Climb, climb to the highest point
Once there is nothing above
You can look down and think
I have left the pit
When many others still remain
To help them up will be my duty
Still you will see the scars and think
Forever there they will remain
But forever above will I remain