I am alone. All alone
I wish it were not the case,
I would have let you in, I would have, I swear!

You were to be my salvation!
You were to break my shackles and free my soul...
You watched as the demons burned me, as they tore
off pieces of flesh and left me void and damaged

I wish I could love you like I should
I wish you could love me like you had
Once upon a time
Before the monsters under the bed
Became the reality of our time.

I would give you the world on a silver platter
with a golden spoon, if only I had the option.
If only that arm were still left
If only that heart still pumped

I teeter on the edge
of salvation and desolation
my soul in a constant struggle,
while the ghost cheer on in the circle.

The abuse of those demons,
Well they left me in a pretty dark place
I wish I could have been stronger
I wish the effects were less

But my body is littered in scares, seen only from hell
and the halo was left for me to choke on from heaven.

Words are hard to come by, when i think of you.
Many a time has passed between us and then,
and never will i forget your face growing up,
into something we wish we could forget.
And you are the things i wish i could be,
you are the things i wish the sky would open up for and rain down upon,
everything you've ever wanted.
I know your fears, i know your loves, i know,
You.
You, the woman, who grew from a child into you.
You are the person who was with me in those bad times,
You are the woman I am so proud of;
that i could spill tears of joy for who you have become.
You followed your dreams and raised a beautiful, amazing, magnificent son.
And You, who had to endure such hardship,
should know,
you are never alone with this.
There is me.
You are diamond clad being, you have fought fear, and it too has passed.
You are a warrior in this thing we call life,
and nothing will fathom you out,
because that is what we do, we do, we do.
You must know, i understand, I really do.
It was not your fault, and you did the best out of everyone i know,
You are now and always was a shining star,
ready to burst into the night sky.
It was not always there, but it was waiting until it was dark,
at the darkest of times, there was the moment that,
you were ready for.
You make me so proud, did i say that again.
Hang on, let me write down, with my pen, again and again.
We are who we are, and would never change the world for who you have become;
anyone would be lucky to be with you,
and anyone who should be lucky enough to love you,
should be the only one.
You are worth more to me than the grains of sand on the beach,
the species of plants in the amazon,
the words i have ever wrote in vain of finding myself,
and yes,
more than the stars in the sky.
And never ever, ever, doubt yourself, or wonder why,
You were meant to be amazing,
and you fought for it, like a true warrior spirit,
and i love you,
oh god do i love you,
for who you are,
not who we were,
but how we became who we are in this moment.
My darling, never give yourself up,
for something that is less than you think you are worthy of,
because to me,
you deserve the moon, the stars, the sea, the clouds and the world.
My grown up, beautiful, talented, amazing big sister,
my safety cushion, and my girl.

you are in my words
even if they're not about you.

you are in my smile
even when we are apart.

you are on my mind
even when I'm not around you

you are in my veins
and in my ever-beating heart.