Is it wrong to grieve unhappiness
in the same way it's wrong to boast achievements?
I want to live, but I'm told to die.
I want to die, but I'm told to live.
Is disappearing an option?

I wanted to help,
I really wanted that.
But I guess you only saw me fit
as a doormat.

This is really unfair.
You're blessed with a pretty face,
and yet I can't even see my reflection
without being revolted.

Time lost,
My fault.
I'm useless
by default.

Slacked off,
did nothing.
Feel tears,
they're coming.

Can't cry,
not fair.
These problems
are my fault
and mine to bear.

Life goes on.
But at this point,
it's going to have to
go on without me.

I'm in pain.
My head pounds terribly,
my legs shake uncontrollably,
and there's a gaping hole
in my chest.

But I can laugh,
although my eyes are saturated
with tears that sting.


I can finally laugh,
because giving up
on everything like this
will set me free.
Right?

Again, just like every year
summer shows itself.
A relief to many,
but fills myself with dread.

The warm summer breeze,
doesn't blow in cozy feelings.
Instead, it sends disgusting,
frightening,
"emotions"
that send chills,
not fit for the season,
crawling up my spine.